Today, it was different. The mood was so tense you could cut through it with the cheap, plastic forks they made us use. I watched as at least two different gangs sized me up from afar. They eyed my hurt leg and grinned with conspiracy tight in their lips.
Scoop picked up on the mood too. Once we had our trays full, we retreated to the side of the cafeteria to eat in silence. Once we were done, we went back to our cells and waited for lights out. The day had been a bust, one that included a nasty leg injury, but at least I had a new purpose. I had something to occupy my time, and that thing was getting rid of the new nurse.
I’d given her my own kind of green light, and starting tomorrow, it would be her time to go.
CHAPTER 5
LYLA
I WASN’T GOING to go back. After leaving the prison for the day, I spent ten minutes in my car, staring off into the nothing and thinking about how afraid I was of going back in there. I drove to my crappy, one-bedroom apartment in a total daze. When I got home, I searched the refrigerator, starving, only to find there was nothing in my place to eat.
I wasn’t even Ramen noodle rich. There wasn’t a scrap of crusty bread or a piece of moldy cheese. I was broke—completely broke with no one to turn to. Even if there were someone, I was too proud to do so. Instead, I drank a big glass of water, showered, and went to bed knowing that no matter how badly I never wanted to go back to the prison, I didn’t have any choice. It was either work or starve to death on the streets.
A benefit of working at the prison, however, was I was able to get a free breakfast and lunch when I was at work. Sure, it was food prepared by inmates. I didn’t even want to think about what was done to it, but it was food. The meals tasted horrible, but anything was better than the pain of starving. I had to eat it until I could afford to buy my own.
Falling asleep within minutes, I slept like I hadn’t in days. I woke to my cell ringing on my bedside table. Looking at the alarm clock blinking back at me, I saw it was ten minutes away from going off.
Great. I could’ve used that ten minutes.
Snatching my cell from the table, I saw that it was my friend Diana calling. I’d met her the second day of nursing school. My bag broke under the strain of those ungodly large books, and she’d laughed and helped me carry them to my car.
Park close to your classes and use your trunk as a locker, she’d said.
Her words were a lifesaver over the next few semesters. It was impossible to carry around all those books.
Over the next few days after that, we’d been in all the same classes. We spent hour upon hour studying and working on assignments together.
“Hello?” I said into my cell.
“Seen any ass fucking yet?” she asked with a chuckle.
“Seriously?” My voice broke, heavy with sleep.
“Yes, seriously. You work in a prison full of men who haven’t seen a naked woman in years. There’s some serious ass fucking going on in there.” She laughed.
Shaking my head, I rubbed at my eyes and sat up in bed. “How’s the job hunting going?” I changed the subject.
“Eh, it’s going. I have an interview today at University Hospital. What about you? What’s it like working in a max clinic?”
I answered carefully. “It’s definitely different. It’s nothing like working in a hospital, I’m sure. There are so many rules you have to follow just to stay safe. I have to watch my back constantly, and I don’t know who I can trust.
“We have lockdowns almost every day because there are fights all the time. We had one yesterday, and two inmates got their hands on a few scalpels. Luckily, the officers took them down pretty easily.”
“Jesus, Lyla, that sounds terrible. Are you sure you want to go back?”
That was the million-dollar question.
Did I want to go back? Hell no.
Was I going to go back? Hell yes.
I sighed, thinking about my empty refrigerator and tiny apartment. I’d be lucky to have enough gas to get me to work over the next few days.
“I don’t have a choice. Bills come every month and I have to feed myself,” I said, just as my stomach rolled with hunger pain.
The line went quiet, and I heard her take a deep breath. “Just be careful, okay? Those inmates are ruthless. I watched a documentary about a prison once. It’s some serious shit. You never know what they’ll do. Just keep your ass covered and your head up.”
I chuckled. “Got it.”
“Good. Love you, miss you,” she sang.
I smiled. “Love you, miss you, too.”
Hanging up, I lay back against my pillows. I didn’t have long before I had to get ready for my next shift. When I closed my eyes, X flashed through my memory. I thought about the fear that was etched on his face the last time I saw him.