“Uh, because I knew you guys would still probably be in bed and, given the voracity of your lust for each other, I didn’t want a repeat visual like the other day,” I told him, matter-of-factly.
“Ah. Gotcha,” he said, nodding. “Yup. Totally understandable. Just-uh, yeah. Chloe’s in the kitchen.” He pointed the way unnecessarily, and I slid by him, shaking my head as he shut the door behind me and then disappeared down the hall.
See, a couple weeks ago, I’d been meeting Chloe to pick her up to go out to dinner, but apparently, the love bug had bitten her and Brandon just at that moment and I’d walked into the house to see them…well, how to put this delicately…humping like rabbits hopped up on speed on top of the ottoman in the living room. It’s a little unsettling (if not a little humorous) to lock eyes with your best friend and her lover as he slammed home one last time and they both belted out very loud (and I’m guessing very satisfying) orgasms.
Truth be told, I’d shrieked and apologized profusely as I stood there, but just couldn’t get my feet to move, completely frozen to the spot in embarrassed, abject horror. And, of course, staying true to my (total family trait, unfortunately) usual weird awkwardness, I’d laughed nervously as we stared at each other and then had quipped, ‘Well, I don’t know about you, but I need a cigarette now. Good form, ol’ chap, good form!’ before I’d turned on my heel (finally unfrozen) and walked back out the door. I’d sat in the car until a fully dressed and absolutely fire-engine-red-faced Chloe had slunk into the passenger seat, not saying a word.
So, yes, a little bit of awkwardness still hangs there when I see Brandon now, but I think it’s more on his part, stemming from the fact that all of his sister-in-laws have seen him naked by this point. Again, in his defense, it was all by accident; trust me, my sisters and I have no desire to go around spying on him naked…although, yes, we all must say that he is definitely one fine specimen of totally hot maleness. And Chloe (and Allie) agrees.
I jumped into the kitchen, a ball of wired, blissfully happy energy, yelling, “CHLOE!”
She jerked, shrieked, and sloshed her cup of coffee down the front of her which earned me a nice death stare.
But that changed very quickly to concern as I danced in front of her, flapping and waving my hand frantically in front of me.
“Um, Leah, are you okay? Do you have to pe-OH MY GOD!” she screamed, cutting herself off mid-sentence as she finally noticed the large rock winking from my finger. “Is that a ring? An ENGAGEMENT RING?!”
She reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling it toward her face almost violently so she could get a good look at it and then caught my eye. When I nodded ‘yes’ to her, she started jumping up and down, screeching and babbling and crying, holding my hand tightly between her boobs, which jerked me back and forth wildly until I gave in and started jumping with her.
We were laughing and crying and still yelling at each other with giddiness when Brandon poked his head around the corner, his lips and eyebrows curled up in a concerned, slightly scared, wholly you-two-are-insane look as he asked, “What the hell is going on in here?”
Chloe dropped my hand but pulled me close into a tight hug, swaying me back and forth as she squealed to Brandon, “We’re getting married!”
He blinked at her in surprise before saying, cautiously, “I know, sunshine. We’ve been planning the wedding, and Leah already said she’d be your maid of honor.” He then glanced at me, silently asking me to translate the situation for him, but before I could say anything, Chloe shoved me backwards, but kept my hand.
“No, you idiot!” she cried, stomping over to him and dragging me along with her. “Ian proposed! Leah’s getting married, too! We’re getting married!” By the time she was done with her explanation, she was grinning and bouncing once more, which made me bounce again by default.
Brandon moved into the doorway and leaned against it, grinning as he looked at my ring, then winked at me as he replied, “Oh. Yeah, I know. Congrats!”
I pulled away from Chloe. “Wait, what? How’d you know?” I asked, suspiciously.
“Yeah,” Chloe growled beside me, glaring at Brandon in a way that was the epitome of menacing. “How did you know that?”
Brandon shrugged half-heartedly, looking decidedly less confident. “Ian called me last night?” He made it a question, which didn’t help matters any.
Chloe jumped forward, thankfully releasing my hand before she did, and smacked Brandon’s bare shoulder, making him wince, though I know she didn’t actually hurt him. “You knew last night and you didn’t tell me?” she yelled. “How could you?!”
Brandon back-pedaled quickly. “Okay, so I didn’t know that they were engaged, technically, I just knew he was going to propose, and, come on, we all know there’s no way in hell she’d have said no. He would have tied her up and drug her to the altar regardless, he’s so far gone in love!”
I smiled at his words, glancing back down at my hand to marvel at my ring. “He is, isn’t he?” I mused. “And of course I said yes!”
Chloe looked back at me and her face softened. “I’m so happy for you, Lee.” She turned back to Brandon, scowling once more as she said, “It’s you I’m not so happy with.”
But, naturally, Brandon just shot her a wink, a shit-eating grin, and grabbed her up in his arms before planting a big, smacking kiss on her lips, and everything was right in the world again.
Evidenced clearly by the fact that, as soon as Brandon let her go, Chloe swung back to me, face lit with glee and said, “Hey! Let’s have a double wedding!”
It had taken some doing, but I’d finally extracted myself from Chloe’s clutches and non-stop wedding plans that had suddenly doubled. I’d convinced her that she deserved to have her own special day separate from mine, and therefore, she reluctantly agreed to ditch the double wedding idea, but she was adamant that we start planning mine ASAP. Now that, I didn’t mind.
Before I left their house, Brandon had stopped me, leaning close to say, “You know, I’m really happy for you guys. I knew Ian before you guys met, but I’ve gotten to know him a lot better since he literally swept you off your feet. He’s a good guy, treats you good. You deserve that. I’m really happy for you, little sister,” he’d said fondly, wrapping me in his arms in a tight hug. “I thank whoever’s listening every day for bringing your sister and Allie into our shop, because it gave me and Luke the family that we’d never really had.” He’d paused, then whispered, “Love you, Leah.”
I’d hugged him even tighter and whispered back, “Love you, too, Brandon,” and couldn’t help the tears that had gathered in my eyes. But then I was laughing when I’d looked up to see Chloe standing there with her hands clasped to her heart, tears pouring down her face, and she’d said, “Damn you, bitches, for making me cry!”
After leaving there, I made my way over to my parents’ house to continue making my rounds, since I’d made a lot of calls last night to let my family know that Ian had proposed, and every single person was overjoyed at the news, but I had to promise that I’d visit all of them today so they could get the deets and see the ring.