Allie just laughed. “I know, but I love him,” she said, lifting her face to receive a kiss from him again as he moved past her on his way to leave.
Jackson kissed her and waved hello/goodbye to everyone as Nanny and the moms came out of the kitchen and filed into the living room.
“Holy giant ballsack!” Nanny crowed, blinking her eyes at Big Kirky.
Jackson practically ran for the door, hollering bye again as he slammed it behind him. Which was a good thing, considering the comments that flew from Nanny’s mouth afterwards.
“Allie-girl, tell me you don’t get up on that thing!” Nanny called in her gravelly voice, her eyes still locked on the giant dildo. She didn’t give Allie a chance to answer. “Back in my day, I could probab-”
“Mom!” Daisy yelled, trying to distract her.
“What?” Nanny snapped back at her. “I’m just sayin’, I might have been able-”
The doorbell rang and we all practically sighed in relief.
“I’ll get it!” Allie said brightly, rubbing her forehead with her fingers as she moved to answer the door. “What the hell did we get ourselves into?” she whispered to Chloe and me as she passed us.
We just grinned at each other.
Within the next half an hour, the living room was almost full of women, most of which I was either related to, or might as well have been, for how close we were. Chloe and I were sitting cross-legged on the floor, Emma and Jenna on the loveseat behind us. My mom was sitting with Daisy, Nanny, and Chloe’s mom, Sarah, on the couch. All of the other ladies, a mixture of friends and neighbors, were seated randomly on chairs placed around the room, or on the floor like us. Altogether, there were about sixteen of us, which would make for a pretty good party for Allie.
Allie stood in the middle of the room, right in front of the table, and started her “show.” She kicked it off with a couple of games, one of which included tossing glow necklaces around Big Kirky in a wacky, adult version of the ring toss game. Once the games were over, Allie had given out a couple of prizes (go me! I won a mini variety pack of warming, flavored massage oils), and then we moved on to the non-sex-toy section of the catalog.
We passed around the pots, jars, creams, and all that good stuff as Allie told us about each of the products. I found a new body butter that smelled absolutely delicious and earmarked that page to order some. Once we’d all sampled everything (laughing through most of it, if not because of the things Allie was saying, but because of Nanny), Allie invited everyone to take a break and get some goodies from the kitchen.
With a glass of wine and a plate piled high with buffalo chicken dip, chips, veggies, dip, and mini cherry cheesecakes, I settled back down on the floor with Chloe to wait for everyone else to come back in.
She leaned back against the couch and popped a bite of buffalo dip in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully as she looked at me.
“What?” I asked?
“We didn’t get to finish our talk. What are you going to do about the bitch?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea. Ian said he was going to call his parents, and hers, to let them know just what she’s been up to. I mean, she’s done the whole naked thing before. I’ve seen her naked more than I have myself, I swear,” I said with a snort. “But, Chloe, the look in her eyes was something I’d never seen before. I’ve never thought she was stupid, but I never thought she was smart. Do you know what I mean?”
Chloe nodded as she sipped her wine.
“I just think something has snapped in her head. I don’t think she’s going to stop unless she’s forced to. Geez, can you imagine us trying to get a restraining order against her?” I shook my head, picturing it. “Excuse me, can I please get a CPO against this crazy bitch who keeps showing up at my boyfriend’s house and office, naked and wearing a hard hat? They’d laugh me out of the courthouse.”
Chloe tipped her head to the side in half-hearted agreement, but before she could reply, the women started trickling back in. “We’ll get together this week so we can talk,” she said quietly.
I nodded quickly, and we shared a smile before I turned to ask my sister, Jenna, how my baby nephew was doing. We all chatted while we ate and when we were finished, Allie jumped back up in front to start the “fun” part of the fun party.
She held up her catalog, opened to the first page of toys, but before she could say anything, Nanny opened her mouth and rendered the room silent.
“Allie-girl, start with that ginormous piece of man meat you’ve got thumped on the table! You know, if I ever used something like that, your Poppy would have to strap a board across my ass so he wouldn’t fall in! Whoo-wee!”
The silence lasted for point-two seconds and then the room roared with laughter, over which Daisy could be heard groaning, “Oh, God no, Mom…”
Poor Allie just covered her face with her hands and shook her head, but we could see her shoulders shaking with laughter.
Chapter 9
“How’d the party go?” Ian asked a couple hours later in the car.
A rueful laugh escaped in answer. “It was interesting, that’s for sure,” I said.
Ian chuckled. “Yeah, Jackson looked half spooked when he came back from getting diapers. Said Nanny and that’s all it took. We didn’t need to hear anymore.”
“Yup. I wish I hadn’t heard more…Good Lord, that woman’s a handful!” I replied, but with fondness.
He reached over and took my hand, lacing our fingers together and bringing them up to his mouth. He kissed the back of my hand and then rested our entwined hands on his thigh.
I laid my head back against the seat and just looked at him, drinking in the sexy hotness of him in the dim light of the dash and the passing street lights.
I saw the corner of his mouth quirk up, and without looking at me, he asked, “What?”
I smiled. “Nothing. Just looking at you.”
“Weirdo,” he said, squeezing my hand briefly.
He held my hand on his thigh the whole way home, only releasing me when we pulled into the garage and parked. I got out, grabbing my black plastic bag full of goodies I’d bought from Allie from the floor to take inside.
I was a little shocked that Ian hadn’t asked what I bought the whole way home, but I knew his curiosity would get the best of him sooner rather than later.
Five seconds later, I realized I shouldn’t have been shocked, and that I was right on the money. He held the door open for me to pass by him into the kitchen and as I did, he grabbed the bag out of my hand and took off through the house.
“Ian!” I yelled, dropping my purse on the counter and stepping out of my heels before following him down the hallway to the bedroom. I didn’t chase him; what was the point? I knew where he was going and, trust me, he definitely was gonna want me with him when he started trying things out.
Er, at least I’d hope so. If not, that could end up being kinda awkward…
I stopped in the doorway of the bedroom and looked in to see him lounging on the bed, the bag beside him, still closed.
I quirked a questioning brow at him and leaned against the door frame, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Whatcha doing?” I asked him conversationally.
He leaned on one elbow and crossed his legs, mocking me, I guess. “Not much. What are you doing?”