But now…This shit just got real. Sure, I was a grown-up and I was allowed to have sex with anyone I wanted. But that also meant I didn’t have to be ruled by my hormones.
“You have questions,” he stated, a slight smile on his face as he eyed me. Could he tell how off-balance I was? “I would not wish to succumb to distraction and not give you the full measure of our agreement,” he added.
I took a breath and did my best to clear my thoughts. Okay, so the goalposts had been moved. I knew these changes were important, but unfortunately I had other stuff to deal with that was a lot more pressing. “Will questions about threats to me originating in the demon realm count against my two questions?”
A sparkle of amusement flashed in his eyes, and before he could open his mouth I jabbed a forefinger at him and narrowed my own eyes. “And don’t you dare count that against me, either,” I added.
He inclined his head slightly. “And now you seek to rework the terms of the agreement. Shameful.”
Normally I’d have been deeply frightened at the insinuation that I was being less than honorable, but he still looked amused. Or so I hoped. “Merely seeking to clarify what might be seen as a loophole,” I replied. “Since it is our very agreement that puts me in jeopardy, it seems to me that questions concerning matters that might affect it negatively—like me dying or some such thing—go beyond the scope of the usual boundaries where I ask questions merely to further my own education or base of knowledge.”
“You are becoming skilled in the manipulation of words and meaning,” he said, and this time he actually gave a slight smile.
I gave a soft snort. “Yeah, well, spending so much time with a demon will do that to you.” Living with Eilahn was like a verbal chess match sometimes.
“Among other things,” he said cryptically. “I trust that all is well between you and the syraza? She is proving to be suitable to the task I set her?”
It was my turn to incline my head in a nod. “All is well. In fact she’s a very considerate roommate and is currently attempting to train me in self-defense.” I couldn’t quite hide the grimace. I wasn’t exactly a future ninja chick. We’d finally agreed that I’d simply do my best in order to buy her time to do whatever she needed to do. Then again, I realized, I didn’t do too badly against the graa. Maybe there was hope for me yet?
“Most excellent.” He gave a satisfied nod. “You need not risk wasting your questions regarding your safety, dearest,” he said. “I am presently dealing with the matter.”
I scowled, even though I’d half-expected a bullshit answer like that. A don’t-you-worry-your-pretty-head-about-this kind of thing.
“It is quite complicated,” he added in a low voice, stroking a thumb over my cheek. “I know this answer does not satisfy you.”
“No, it doesn’t,” I replied. “I really hate being kept in the dark.”
“You are a detective. A seeker of knowledge. This lack of information chafes at your very nature. But some matters cannot be directly explained or revealed, lest the peril to you increase.” He moved away from me and draped himself elegantly into the armchair by the fireplace.
An odd flush of anger swept over me. “That’s bullshit,” I said. “Oh, great, it’s for my own good that you can’t tell me anything! I’m so goddamn sick of this shit!” His eyes narrowed, and I knew I needed to shut the hell up, but I couldn’t seem to stop the words pouring out of my mouth. “I never know what the fuck is going on. I summon you, and we fuck. I’m just some kind of sextoy or something to you. Then you sneak upstairs and use my computer—” I had to take a breath then, and somehow I regained enough control of myself to clamp down on the bizarre fury. What the hell was I thinking going off on him like that?
My gut clenched as Rhyzkahl regarded me from where he sat. The leaping flames in the fireplace cast stark shadows across his beautiful features, giving him an even more dangerous and menacing appearance. Not that he needed shadows for that. He was a demonic lord, one of the most powerful creatures that I knew of and certainly the most powerful that I’d ever encountered.
So why the hell had I gone off like that?
“I…I’m sorry,” I said. I shook my head, frowned. “I didn’t mean all that.”
“I did not sneak,” he finally said.
I blinked in confusion. This wasn’t the retaliation I’d expected. “Huh?”
The demonic lord’s lips twitched ever so slightly. “Your computer. I did not sneak upstairs.”
Shit, had I asked that as a question? I hurriedly cast back to my memory of my off-balanced rant. I hadn’t planned on wasting my questions on that, since the response he’d just given me was pretty much the response I’d expected. I didn’t have any other possible suspects, and I knew that he would never in a million years lie to me—not with that demonic sense of honor ruling his words and actions. No, I decided after a few seconds of mental rummaging, I hadn’t actually asked a question. Therefore, if he was willing to keep talking, I was more than willing to continue on this tack.
“You waited until I was asleep,” I pointed out.
He lifted a perfect eyebrow. “I do not recall having to wait at all. You fell asleep rather quickly after you received your fill of pleasure.”
I flushed, even though it certainly hadn’t been the first, or last, time he’d “pleasured” me. “You could have just asked me if you could use the computer,” I said, far more sullenly than I’d meant. Fucking hell, was I PMS-ing or something?
He lifted one shoulder in an elegant shrug, amusement lighting his eyes, which did not make it easier for me to get my mood under control. “I was unaware that there were portions of your house that were off-limits to me,” he replied.
My scowl darkened. He was enjoying this, the jerk, and I was only making it more amusing for him by continuing to nag him about this stupid detail. I folded my arms across my chest. “I just…I have personal shit on there, y’know. It would be like you reading my diary or something. And you could have just asked. And how the hell do you know how to use a computer anyway?”
He was on his feet and in front of me holding my shoulders in the time it took me to blink. “I had need of information,” he stated, no longer looking amused. “And if I chose not to share my need for this information with you, then that is my prerogative.” His grip on my shoulders was firm, though not to the point of hurting me. Yet. I knew he was powerful enough to shatter me before I could twitch.
“You stated none of this need for privacy when we set the terms,” he continued. Then his eyes narrowed. “Think you that I could not strip all of your secrets from you in the time it takes your heart to beat thrice?”
My mouth had gone dry, but I made myself look up at him, forced myself to meet the ancient potency that simmered behind his gaze. “You don’t own me,” I stated as boldly as I could, though the tremor in my voice kind of ruined my show of strength. “I don’t serve you. The deal was that I’d summon you once a month, and you’d answer two questions for me. I’m not going to bow or grovel or…or…”
He released me and spun away, hissing what sounded like an expletive under his breath. “Have I ever demanded thus from you?” His hands tightened into fists, and he looked back at me. He was angry, but it was a different anger than I’d ever seen in him before. I’d seen him filled with the kind of fury that made me mewl in terror, and I’d seen him with a dark anger that could only precede a slaughter. But this anger was…strangely personal.
His jaw tightened. “Have I ever required obeisance from you?”
I shook my head in a jerky move. “No,” I muttered.
He lifted his hand, and I didn’t have to shift into othersight to see the power coiling into his control. Fear spasmed through me, along with the desire to flee, but before the thought could translate into action the potency wound around me, stilling me. In the next heartbeat I was on my knees before him, forced there by his will.
“I could wring such servitude from you if I wished,” he continued, voice resonating in the stone of the basement as my pulse slammed.
“Stop this,” I managed to gasp. Then my gaze was torn from him as my head bowed. “Stop it!” I said, voice shaking more with anger than fear. “I’m not going to fucking beg you to stop, if that’s what you’re waiting for. You’re being a fucking asshole!”
A second later I nearly sprawled face first as he released me. I barely caught myself on my hands in time, then I jerked my head up to see him standing with his head tilted back and his eyes closed, breathing deeply. He opened his eyes and met mine.
“And I will not force this from you,” he stated quietly. “I swear to you I will never do this to you again, unless there is some other pressing and dire need for this manner of display other than my own vanity.”
I didn’t say anything to that. I was so angry I was shaking, and I could tell that I was about to cry. I hated that. I cried when I got angry or frustrated, and that had been happening way too much lately.
He stepped to me and crouched, then pulled me to my feet and enveloped me in his arms before I could think to protest. “Forgive me,” he murmured. “That was a churlish display, and you did not deserve it. I was…an asshole.”
I almost laughed at the admission but managed to hold it back. But I did surreptitiously wipe my sniffly nose on his jacket.
“Apology accepted,” I said. “It didn’t help that I was being a bitch.” My anger was gone now, thankfully. It bugged me that I’d lost control like that. He’s not human. He could have slapped me down a lot harder.
But he hadn’t. That had been a demonic lord version of shouting back at me. In fact he’d shown incredible restraint. I sighed inwardly. Someday I would figure out this fucked up dynamic between us.