“Cool and wet. Are you still in Utah?”
“Yeah. St. George.” She brought him up to date on the kids, and the progress.
“How’s my brother handling all the drama?”
She thought of the milk and doughnuts. “Really well,” she said with a smile. “You two really are a lot alike.”
“In some ways.”
“Listen, Michael…I told Zach that you and I were getting a divorce.”
Silence hung for a moment. “I guess that was coming. Has he told my parents?”
“No. I don’t think so.”
“I think my mom would have called had she heard.”
“They’re all still up at the cabin.” So Karen thought. By now, who knew?
“We knew the breakup would be hard.” He sounded so at ease with their divorce.
“Uhm, Michael…remember when we were driving to your parents and we were talking about wanting to be with someone?”
Again, there was silence. “Yeah?”
“Well, you told me when you hooked up with Ryder.”
“Yeah? There’s someone you wanna see?” She knew his playful tone would soon change.
“There is…but…”
“Go for it, Karen. Just be discreet. We had an agreement. We’re good.”
“Michael. It’s not that simple.”
He laughed. “Sure it is. Relaxing, too.”
“Michael! Just…oh, God this is hard.”
He stopped laughing. “Karen, sweetheart. I get it. You’re horny. No one gets that more than me.”
“Stop, Michael. It’s not just sex. I mean…it might be, but…” The farther she got into the conversation the harder it was to say his name. “It’s Zach. OK. I have it bad for Zach.”
Complete silence hung over the phone.
The smile Michael wore while he joked with Karen about the need for sex slowly slid from his face while he dropped into the chair of the executive star trailer he lived in while on set.
Fuck. Oh, Fuck.
“I didn’t want it. I’ve tried to deny it.” Karen’s voice wavered as she spoke; her words ran into each other like a freight train piling up cars. “I’m sorry. I’ll just keep ignoring it. Forget I said anything.”
He couldn’t forget this.
Karen started to cry. “I’m sorry, Michael. I’ll call you later.”
“No! Wait. This takes a few minutes to absorb.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “So sorry, Michael.”
“Zach? Really?” Michael ran his free hand over his face and glanced at the ring he’d worn for over a year.
“Yeah.”
“Damn. I think I saw this coming.”
“You did?” She hiccupped into the phone.
“Yeah. I saw him watching you. Noticed the tension between you both.” He understood more than most what it felt like to have feelings for someone he could never have. Not openly in any event. “Has he…have you?”
“No. Well. I kissed him, we’ve kissed, but that’s all. And he doesn’t know about you,” she said quickly.
“You can’t tell him.” Yet Michael knew that it would only be a matter of time before something slipped from Karen. It wouldn’t be her fault. When two people were intimate, certain truths had a way of revealing themselves. Even Ryder knew that he and Karen only had a paper marriage.
“Of course not. I would never do that to you, Michael. Ever.” She wouldn’t mean to. Damn, he had to figure out a way to tell Zach himself about his sexuality. He owed it to Karen so she didn’t have to lie.
“If he figures it out, you need to tell me.”
“I will.”
He chuckled. “I have a strong desire to kick his ass,” he confessed.
“Being territorial?”
“Yeah. Which is kind of sick. I have no right.” No right at all. Karen was his best friend, not his lover.
“Of course you do. We’re married.”
He sighed. “In name only. I’d be even more upset if he wanted to bang Ryder.”
Karen laughed. “I don’t think Zach plays for that team.”
The thought of Zach and Ryder made him laugh. “No. I’d think I’d have figured it out if he did. Wow.”
“I’m sorry, Michael.”
“Why do you keep apologizing? I doubt you set out to have the hots for my brother.” As they spoke, some of the earlier tension eased. His friendship with this woman was too important. Besides, he loved his brother, and Michael couldn’t think of a better person for Karen than Zach.
She choked on her one-word answer. “No.”
“I still wanna kick his ass.” He was playing with her now, and hoped it made her smile. The thought of her crying over him left a heaviness in his chest he didn’t like. His thoughts quickly twisted to the paparazzi and the press. Oh, damn…this is going to get ugly. “Just be careful, Karen. The media would have a field day with this…with you.”
She paused before saying, “I don’t have to act on anything with Zach.”
Not act on it? He heard the guilt in her voice and needed to remind Karen of their honesty commitment to each other. “No. Karen…we wouldn’t be having this conversation if you were in complete control here. My brother’s a good guy. The fact you’re both holding back means you give a shit about my feelings. He’s still a complete dick for hitting on my wife…but how can I blame him? You’re hot.”
She laughed.
He kept talking. “And if you and I were happily married I doubt you’d be giving out the vibe of availability. Goes to show we needed to work on ending this charade before now.” Yet selfishly he liked having Karen around. No one drove away the loneliness like her; no one knew him better…and loved him despite all his faults.
The reality that they were splitting up hit him.
“I’ve loved being your fake wife, Michael.”
He felt moisture behind his eyes. “I’ve loved being your fake husband.” He swallowed, hard, and said the only thing he could. “I’ll file when I get home.”
She started crying again, making it damn hard to avoid joining her. “I can move out when I get back.”
“No need…not right away. I’m going to be up here for a while.” He cleared his throat and looked around his lonely trailer. “Are you crying?” He wanted to dry her tears.