“Listen, Macey, there are some things I need to apologize for.”
“I’m listening,” she says, folding her hands in her lap.
Fuck, where do I begin?
I regret that I didn’t kiss her in our sessions. I regret the rough treatment I showed her body. Most of all, I regret letting her walk away six years ago. If she gives me another chance, and I pray she does, I want her stretched out in my bed, no ropes and no toys. Just pleasure and intimacy I’ve craved for six long years. I need to say good-bye to the man I once was, because if we do this, there will be no going back.
“I loved you back then. You knew that, right? I never said the words, but—”
“Yes, I knew.” Her voice drops, and her eyes glisten with moisture.
“And it fucking gutted me when you left.”
Her brows pull together. “You’re the one who helped me fill out my college applications, practically pushed me out of the nest.”
“I know. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat, because you were destined for more. I wasn’t going to be the prick who held you back from achieving it.”
“Yeah, some success story I turned out to be,” she says quietly under her breath.
“Don’t you dare define yourself by one failed relationship and a job that was going under. You fled when you needed to, and you’re bouncing back just fine.”
“I guess so.”
“What I really want to apologize for is our sessions. You scared me. You strolled into my club, so cool and confident, and you knew exactly what you wanted. I made a bargain with myself that I wouldn’t get attached, or feel anything for you again. I tried to treat you like any other sub, but it was quite obvious that you weren’t.”
“No, I’m not a submissive. It was a stupid idea, stupid of me to think we could do this without feelings getting involved. And stupid to think I could play the role of the kind of woman you like.”
“You’re the only kind of woman I like. All of this—the club, the toys—it was all meant as a distraction. I needed it like I needed air.”
“What are you saying, Reece?”
If she trusts me enough to do this, I’m packing up all the impersonal BDSM implements I’ve used as a crutch. And not as some grand gesture, but because I want to. We won’t need any blindfolds or handcuffs because I’ll want her to see me, to touch me. It scares me, but it’s what I want. And if she wants toys in the bedroom, we’ll buy them together.
“Come outside on the balcony with me?” I want to get away from the curious ears of Hale and Brielle, who are standing only twenty feet away. Macey rises from the chair, and I grab the throw blanket from the back of the couch and wrap it around her shoulders. She hugs the blanket to her and follows me out onto the balcony. I slide the glass door closed as Macey stands near the railing, looking out at the spectacular view.
For a moment we just listen to the city noises below. The hum of traffic. A police siren fading in the distance. The whoosh of wind that lifts her hair from her neck.
It’s January in Chicago, and barely thirty degrees out. Our breathing comes out in soft puffs as the warm air contrasts with the cold. I want to pull her into my arms and hold her small frame against mine, but I know I’ve lost that right.
“I wanted to properly apologize for the way I treated you. I shouldn’t have left you alone like that after our sessions. But I hope you understand now that I needed to get away. I couldn’t seem to separate the emotion from the sex.”
She turns to face me, her blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight. “Neither could I. That’s why I didn’t want a third session. I couldn’t do that again with you without falling for you.”
“I’ve already fallen,” I murmur, my lips coming dangerously close to touching hers.
“What are you saying?” Her breath is a warm pant against my mouth.
“You might have said this was just sex, but you’re about to get a whole lot more, because if we do this, there will be no going back.”
“Reece?”
“I want a real shot with you. I want to tell Hale everything. I want to make up for not being there for you for the past six years, and I’ll fight for you if I have to. I want to protect you, cherish you, own you . . .” The words pour from me, and once they’re out, a wave of panic swims through me. Macey doesn’t say anything, and the seconds tick past.
Leaning closer, she breathes out, “Will you make love to me?”
When her lips barely brush mine, I have to physically restrain myself from taking her mouth and fucking it with my tongue. Reminding myself that her brother is still watching from inside does the trick.
I force a deep breath into my lungs. “I want to bury myself balls deep inside your sweet body. I want to fuck you for hours. Days. Months. Years.”
“Years?” Her lips twitch with a small smile. “I might get a little sore.”
“Then I’ll tend to your every ache and pain, soothe every discomfort. You will be mine.”
Tears spring to her eyes, and she blinks them away.
“Hey, what is it?” I whisper.
“I’ve waited so long for this. This is the version of you I’ve missed and dreamed about for six years.”
Pleasure swims through me, and my heart feels whole again. “I’m here.”
“I thought I lost you,” she whispers.
“I’m back.” I tug the blanket higher over her shoulders and press a kiss to her forehead. “Can I take you home?”