“I have to go. Alicia’s waiting.”
“Where’s Tarkie?”
“I don’t know. With Bryce, I should think. Being told a load of vile rubbish.” She opens the front door, but I jam a foot across it.
“Suze, please,” I say desperately. “Tell me. What can I do?”
Suze surveys me silently, and for one hopeful moment I think she’s going to relent and treat me like her oldest, best friend again. But then, with a weary sigh, she shakes her head.
“No, Bex. You deal with your problems. I’ll deal with mine.”
She’s gone. I peep through the little side window, staying out of sight. I can see her hurrying to the car. I can see her face relaxing as she calls something to Alicia. My throat is tight, and there’s a hotness in my chest.
The car moves off down the drive and I press my head against the window, breathing a cloud onto the glass. What’s happening to my life? Ever since that awards evening when everything kicked off, I’ve felt like I’m living in a kaleidoscope. It’s whizzing around, making different patterns every moment, and as soon as I get used to one, it shifts again. Why can’t things stay the same for just one second?
The electric gates are slowly shutting. The car’s gone. My heart feels full to bursting, except I’m not sure what it’s most full of: stress about Luke, worry for Tarkie, longing for Suze to come back, or hatred for Alicia. Because I don’t care what Suze says—I don’t believe Alicia’s changed. She plays games. If she’s being nice and supportive to Suze now, it’s only because she wants to damage her in some way later. She’s got some poisonous plan up her sleeve, I know it. And Suze trusts her more than me.… Suze likes her more than me.…
Tears are welling up in my eyes, and one suddenly trickles down my nose. Another is following it as my phone rings, and I hastily wipe them both away as I answer.
“Aran! Hi! How are you?”
“Hey, babe,” comes his easy voice. “I hear you’re styling Sage for the Big Top premiere. Congratulations; that’s pretty big!”
“Thanks!” I try to sound as bright as I can. “I’m so excited!”
“Did you tell Luke? Is he psyched?”
“Kind of,” I say after a pause.
Not only is he not psyched, I want to say miserably, he isn’t even a tiny bit proud. He thinks I should fire the bodyguards. He won’t eat grain soup. He doesn’t want to be an A-lister. I mean, if you don’t want to be an A-lister, why come to Hollywood in the first place?
“Well, guess who wants to meet you at the premiere? Nenita Dietz.”
“No!” I gasp. “Nenita Dietz has heard of me?”
In spite of everything, my spirits rocket up. I spent that whole stupid studio tour trying to find Nenita Dietz. And now she’s trying to find me!
“Of course she’s heard of you.” Aran laughs. “We’ll set up a meeting, a photo opportunity on the red carpet; maybe you guys can chat at the party. How does that sound?”
“Amazing!” I breathe.
As I ring off, I feel heady. Nenita Dietz and me on the red carpet. Making friends and talking fashion. I couldn’t even have dreamed that.
“Hey, guess what?” I call out, before I realize that there’s no one to hear me. A moment later, Jeff appears around the door.
“You OK?” he says.
“I’m going to meet Nenita Dietz!” I say. “On the red carpet! She’s asked to meet me. Do you know how important she is?” Jeff’s face is blank, but I can see his eyes reading my expression for clues.
“Awesome,” he says at last, and nods. He disappears again, and I quell a feeling of disappointment that he wasn’t more excited. No one’s proud of me, not even my bodyguard. Another tear suddenly rolls down my cheek, and I brush it away impatiently. This is stupid. Stupid. Life is great. Why am I feeling like this?
I’ll call Mum. The solution hits me out of the blue. Of course. Mum will make me feel better. I should have thought of this ages ago. And I can reassure her about Dad too. It’s evening in the UK. Perfect. I lean back in my chair, dialing the number, and as I hear her familiar voice answering, I feel a relief all over my body.
“Mum! How are you? Listen, I’m styling Sage for a premiere tomorrow! And I’m meeting Nenita Dietz! She especially called Aran to say she wanted to meet me! Can you believe it?”
“That’s lovely, Becky.” Mum sounds tense and distracted. “Listen, darling, where’s Dad? Can I speak to him?”
“He’s out at the moment. I’ll get him to call you back.”