I feel all prickly with guilt and resentment and frustration as I crash the plates into their piles. Why does everyone keep making me feel bad about stuff? At last Dad draws in breath and looks up at me.
“Becky, love, there’s something I’d like to say—”
“Sorry, Dad,” I cut him off. “I need to go and check on the children. I’ll be back in a while, OK?”
I cannot face one of Dad’s Little Talks. Not right now. I head upstairs and tuck all the children in, then lurk in Minnie’s darkened room for a long while, sitting with my head against her crib bars, listening to her twirly ballerina music box.
I don’t want to see Dad. I don’t want to see Luke either. Where’s Suze? I try her number, but her phone’s switched off. In the crib, Minnie gives one of her sleepy snuffles and turns over, sucking her rabbit, all cozy under the covers. I eye her enviously. Life is so simple for her.
Maybe I can fake some autographs in Dad’s book. Yes. Genius idea. I’ll pretend I bumped into a load of famous people at the filming. Maybe I could even forge Dix Donahue’s signature. I mean, Dad will never know the difference, will he? I’ll fill his book with autographs and he’ll be happy and it’ll all be good.
Feeling better, I switch on Minnie’s night-light and reach for Each Peach Pear Plum. It’s one of my favorite books. I’ll read this, and perhaps Guess How Much I Love You, too, and then I’ll go and check on my notes for the filming tomorrow. It’s a 6:00 A.M. call, so I need to get an early night.
And on the plus side, I’m totally prepared for the show. I’ve made about twenty pages of notes, with pictures and mood boards and everything. I’ve worked on every single fashion story I can think of, so I’ll be able to talk, whatever pieces they’ve chosen. Just thinking about it makes my stomach flutter. I mean, it’s Breakfast Show USA! It’s going to be huge! My career will be launched! And then everyone will see.
GREENLAND ENDEAVORS
… where challenge and adventure meet inspiration …
OFFICIAL REPORT
Client: Danny Kovitz
Subject: Medical emergency/airlift
The client began to exhibit signs of distress early on Monday. Despite encouragement from the team leader and other team members, he finally stopped skiing, threw down his pack, and began sobbing. The client was airlifted at 15:00 hours and taken to base camp on Kulusuk.
A full medical examination was undertaken and the client was found to be in good health, with no signs of frostbite or respiratory disorder. However, the client was in significant mental distress. Nurse Gill Johnson observed him for three hours, during which time she noted down the following remarks: My toes are gone; My fingers will have to be amputated; My lungs have frozen; I have snowblindness; Why me?; I’m ebbing away; Tell the world I was brave at the end. Despite her reassurances, he remained convinced for several hours that he was about to die.
The client subsequently enjoyed a substantial meal, viewed several episodes of America’s Next Top Model on the sanatorium TV, and slept a comfortable night before being transported the following day to Reykjavik and thence to New York.
Greg Stein
Team Leader
From: Kovitz, Danny
To: Kovitz, Danny
Subject: don’t know how i survived
dearest friends,
despite my best endeavors, my trek across the ice sheet ended prematurely when, against my own wishes, i was airlifted to safety. i wanted to continue but was told by the team leader that to do so would endanger myself and the others. you will be shocked to hear I was near death.
i feel heartache at leaving the expedition but i will always remember the soaring landscape and will re-create this in a series of winter white dresses for my next a/w collection it will be called ice and pain and will use textured quilted fabrics with raw bone nb Tristan, plse have list of raw bone sources ready for my return.
I am now, on medical advice, checking in to a place of rest and recuperation. You can send flowers and presents to me via my new york office.
kisses
Danny xxx
They weren’t interested in any of my notes. They didn’t even have any clothes in the studio. We didn’t talk about fashion at all. I’m sitting in the limo, numb with shock, driving away from the studios with Aran. How did that happen?
At first it all seemed perfect. The limo arrived at 6:00 A.M., and Jeff “secured” it, while I posed for pictures taken by Lon and all his friends, who were yelling, “Becky! Beckeeee!” I was wearing my exclusive Danny Kovitz dress with a little shrug over it, and I felt just like a top-notch celebrity. Then we whizzed off to the studios, and I had my makeup done next to Ebony-Jane Graham, who is totally famous if you watch weight-loss programs.