“No, KC . . . God, no. This is a weird situation, trust me, I know. I’ve been at war with myself with what I know is right, and what I don’t think I can live without. I do not want an affair. I don’t know what something between us could be called, but that word doesn’t do what’s happening between us justice. But I know that my marriage is over, I know I want you more than I want my next breath, and I know I would be insane to walk out that door and away from you.”
Her eyes fluttered shut, and a sound that was something between a whimper and a cry left her lips before she could cover her mouth with her hand. Everything in me wanted to pull her close, but I forced my hands to stay on my hips as I waited for her response. I didn’t know if she wanted me to touch her, and honestly, I didn’t know if I was ready for what would happen if I had her in my arms.
KC looked back up at me and blew out a shaky breath. “I didn’t know I could feel this for someone else, but, Brody, I can’t be the reason your marriage ends.”
“It’s been over,” I said, the truth in my words clear. “We were over before we ever got married.”
“Is that why you don’t wear a wedding ring? Or did you take it off because you were coming to talk to me?”
I glanced down to my left hand and shrugged lamely. “Um, no. Olivia wouldn’t buy one for me when we got married, and never did afterwards. But if she had, I doubt I’d still wear it.”
She nodded, seeming to accept my answer, and then shook her head quickly. “But this is crazy. Whether your marriage is over or not, you’re still married. This . . . it’s wrong.”
“I know,” I murmured. “But I can’t imagine walking away from you now, and from the look in your eyes, you don’t want me to walk away either.”
KC worried her bottom lip for a few moments as she studied me, before admitting softly, “I’ve thought of nothing but you since Jace’s house. Why do you have to be married?” She whispered the last part to herself and huffed a sad laugh. Her eyes slowly met mine as she rubbed at her chest. “I feel like I’m losing my mind. It physically hurts to think about not being with you, and I don’t even know you.”
When I saw her blue eyes fill with tears, I took the last steps toward her and pulled her into my arms. She let out a shaky breath, and her eyes stayed glued to her hands resting on my chest.
We stood there silently for a few minutes before she tilted her head up and looked into my eyes. “What are we going to do?”
I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face when I responded. “I’m not sure, but we’ll take it slow and we’ll figure it out.”
5
Kamryn
May 16, 2015
BRODY LEFT TWENTY minutes later when my first customer came in, but not before getting my phone number and promising to call. It didn’t make sense to be swapping phone numbers given what we’d just confessed—we knew that. But we also knew that in those first seconds after I’d run into him and he’d caught me, we were both already completely lost in each other. And though there were red flags flying up all over the place, this feeling that was drawing us together was strong enough that we were both knowingly, and willingly, ignoring every one of them.
Brody and I knew we wouldn’t be able to talk often, and I had been prepared for that. But I’d had no idea how hard it would be to wait for his call. It was Thursday night, Kinlee and I were out for coffee again, and I hadn’t heard from him once.
“What is going on with you today?”
My head snapped up to look at Kinlee. “What do you mean?”
“You haven’t said more than two words, you just keep checking your phone. Do you have somewhere you need to be?”
“No, no, I’m fine. I’m sorry, I’m just so distracted. I haven’t talked to Barbara in a while, and I get antsy when I don’t.” Part of that was true. I hadn’t talked to Barb in exactly one week. But that wasn’t why I couldn’t stop checking my phone.
I’d put it on silent, not even wanting to risk it vibrating while I was out with Kinlee, and yet I still couldn’t stop checking it. I was ready to take off running out of the coffee shop if he called. Half terrified that Brody would call while I was with her, half wishing he would just call already . . . it was safe to say I was going a little crazy.
“She’ll call, she always does. Are you worried about her or something? The way you’re acting is starting to make me anxious, and I don’t even know her.”
I started to say no but stopped myself. “Uh, yeah, I kinda am. Like I said, I haven’t heard from her in a while, and she’s not in the best situation back home. But I’m sure she’s fine, she’s the sweetest woman you’ll ever meet, but she’s tough as nails.”
Kinlee fidgeted in her chair as she studied me before shooting me a smile. “Then cheer up, friend!”
I tried to smile as I glanced at my phone again.
“Hey, why don’t you go back and visit, or have her come visit you?”
“You know I can’t, I barely have enough free time as it is with two helpers in the bakery, and I’m not making enough to hire someone else on yet. And she definitely can’t come here, she, uh, she works for some ass**les. They’d never give her time off to come see me.”
“That sucks.” Kinlee tsked. “Why don’t you ever talk about your parents? What happened to them?”