Gray flicked a glance at the paper. “You don’t want to be First Escort. I do. You don’t want to serve Cassie. I do.”
Theran’s jaw dropped. “You? Hell’s fire, Gray. Do you know what you’ve done?”
“Yes, I do.”
Kermilla will never forgive him.“You know Kermilla is going to become Queen in a couple of months. Signing on to serve Cassidy now is a slap in the face. She’ll never consider you for any kind of position in her court.”
“And I wouldn’t consider taking one,” Gray replied.
“Do you know what’s required of a man to stand as First Escort? Gray, you can’t do this.”
“I’ve spent the past few months training to be a First Escort, and I’m qualified to serve Queen and court in that position. What kind of training do you have, Theran?”
None.
“I don’t see why you’re acting so pissy about this,” Gray said. “You’re up in Grayhaven. We’re down here. You haven’t fulfilled your duties to Queen or court for months now.”
“I wasn’t dancing to Cassidy’s tune, no, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been working for the good of Dena Nehele.”
“That’s a matter of opinion.”
Stung past insult, Theran vanished the document and took a step back. Gray had made his choice, and may the Darkness have mercy on him.
“Is your position in the court official yet?” Theran asked.
Gray nodded. “I signed the contract this morning.”
Mother Night.
“Well, I guess I’m free to—”
“You still have a contract with this court,” Gray said. “You’re still in the First Circle.”
“Under the circumstances, I think it’s best if I resign.”
“You rule the town of Grayhaven on the Queen’s behalf. If you ask to be dismissed from the court and Cassidy grants the request, you not only give up your place in the court, you also give up the town and its tithes.”
Theran felt the blood drain out of his head. The only reason Kermilla was allowed to stay anywhere in Dena Nehele was that he ruled Grayhaven. If he lost the town, she could be driven out—or killed. He couldn’t risk that. Not when Cassidy’s contract would end in a couple of months, freeing him from these chains.
“You’re turning into a bastard, Gray.”
Gray smiled—and Theran saw the man who was comfortable around Daemon Sadi and Lucivar Yaslana—and the High Lord of Hell. Sadi couldn’t have played this hand any better.
“I guess I should call you Jared Blaed from now on,” Theran said.
“I guess you should.”
When he walked out of the boardinghouse, the Scelties were gone. So were Archerr and Shaddo. But Talon stood at the edge of the street, waiting for him.
“I’ll walk you back to the landing web,” Talon said.
“That’s not necessary.”
“Yes, it is.”
They walked halfway back before Theran spoke. “How did it go so wrong?”
“Everyone wants the same thing. They just aren’t seeing the same answer,” Talon replied.
“I’m worried about what’s going to happen to Gray.”
“Jared Blaed can take care of himself.”
“Why did he have to do this now?”
“He’s following his heart. Isn’t that what you’re doing?”
“That’s not the same.”
“No one ever thinks it is.”
They didn’t speak again until they reached the landing web.
“Take care of yourself, boy,” Talon said.
“Talon . . .” What could he say to keep the people who mattered to him out of harm’s way? “Cassidy isn’t going to be ruling for much longer.”
A long silence. Then Talon said quietly, “No, Cassidy isn’t going to be ruling Dena Nehele for much longer.”
CHAPTER 39
TERREILLE
She looks tired,Ranon thought as he watched Cassidy enter the meeting room and take her seat between him and Gray. Of course, they were all tired, but this past week seemed to drain spirit as well as energy from their Queen.
A week of meetings, a week of talking—a week where he’d watched strong men struggle with a fear bred from hope.
Gray had shown the steel in his spine and his potential to be a leader. The other Warlord Princes had seen it too, and Ranon wondered how much that would sway opinions.
The rest of the First Circle drifted into the room, looking alert enough, despite the early hour. Cassie had chosen this dawn meeting so that Talon could be with them and hear Powell’s report at the same time as the rest of the First Circle.
Talon took his seat opposite Gray, then nodded to Powell.
The Steward looked pale but excited as he laid five letters on the big meeting table.
“The five southern Provinces have agreed to join the Shalador reserves to create a new Territory,” Powell said. “All the District Queens and the Warlord Princes who are ruling on behalf of our Queen support the court’s decision to break away from Dena Nehele and build the kind of life we want in a land ruled by the Queen we have chosen to serve.”
The men around the table released their breath in a collective sigh. Exhilaration and trepidation. None of them wanted war, but all of them were willing to step onto as many killing fields as it would take to buy freedom for the people they loved.
“I’ve drafted a document,” Powell said, looking at Ranon and Gray.
“We’ll take it up to the Keep this afternoon and ask the High Lord to review it,” Gray said.
“Until we know how Theran and his Lady are going to react to this news, everyone goes out in tandem,” Talon said. “And you Ladies are to have an escort with you at all times.”
“But—” Shira said.
“Alltimes.” Talon stared at Shira until she nodded. “We can’t afford to lose either of you—or Reyhana. You’ll do what we need so that we can do what Shalador Nehele needs.”
“That’s fair,” Cassidy said, sounding too subdued for Ranon’s liking. “You should remember to talk to the Scelties about helping to guard the Queen’s square.”
Talon nodded as if he—and every other man in the room—hadn’t thought of that already. Having played hide-and-seek with the dogs in order to learn more of what they could do, the men had confirmed that no matter how well you could hide from another human, you couldn’t cover yourself in shields well enough or disguise yourself well enough to hide from kindred senses unless you were downwind ofall of them.
“Is that all?” Cassidy asked.
“Yes, Lady,” Powell replied.
Cassidy pushed away from the table and walked out of the room.
“Let me,” Ranon said, reaching across the empty space to stop Gray from following her.
He waited for Gray’s nod before he left the room to look for Cassidy.
Wasn’t hard to find her. The garden gave her comfort—even when it slept under snow.
He stood on her left side, wanting to touch her, wanting to offer simple contact. But he wasn’t sure she would welcome a touch right now, so he stayed where he was.
“I’m afraid,” she said. “You’ve put your faith in me as a Queen, and you’re risking your lives and your people’s lives based on that faith. What if I fail?”
“None of us know if we’ll measure up to the demands of the day,” Ranon said gently. “Considering what we’re about to do, only a fool wouldn’t be afraid of what may be ahead of us, and you’re no fool. But I’ll tell you the same thing Talon told me once: don’t fail until you fail.”
She gave him a puzzled look that made him smile. Then he looked away. It seemed easier to say the words when he wasn’t looking right at her. “I was seventeen the first time I stepped onto a killing field. Warlord Princes are born to stand on the killing fields, and everything we are gives us the temper and the instinctive skills to be predators and killers. But it also takes maturity to accept what you do on those fields. I was seventeen, and I wasn’t ready. Neither were any of the other boys who were training in that camp up in the mountains. But a decision had been made to eliminate a Province Queen who had gone beyond cruel in what she was doing to the people, and part of that decision was to pay whatever price needed to be paid.”
“So they sent young men to support the experienced warriors,” Cassidy said. “Is that why you’ve kept such a strict watch over Janos, kept him hidden from the Queens?”
“That’s why. I didn’t want him to face that before he had to.
“I remember Talon coming into the camp the night before the fight to talk to the leaders. He couldn’t be with us for the attack. I think he was committed to another killing field farther north. Besides, Talon couldn’t fight in daylight, but he was the best instructor we had. When he was done talking to the leaders, he took a couple of minutes with each of us. It got to be my turn, and instead of telling him I would be brave and strong and win the battle, I told him I was afraid to fail. And he said, ‘Don’t fail until you fail.’ So I didn’t. We destroyed that Queen and the warriors she sent against us. Most of us survived.” Ranon hesitated, then decided not to tell her that some of the boys who survived went back into the mountains and never came down again. “There have been plenty of times in the years since then when things have looked too bleak for any hope to survive, when I watched other men fall in battle while trying to save what we could. There were days when I thought I couldn’t stand to see another friend die, but I’d tell myself that as long as I could stand and fight for my people I hadn’t failed yet. I don’t know if that helps.”
“It does,” Cassidy said. “Yes, it does. Thank you, Ranon.”
He touched her shoulder. When she didn’t pull away, he drew her against him for a hug.