Still staring out the window, his back to me, he says, “One morning after I left, she followed me to the house on LaRuhe.”
I catch my breath. These are words I’ve been waiting to hear since the day I identified my sister’s body. To learn what she did the last day she was alive. Where she went. How it came to such a bitter end.
“Did you know?” I demand.
“I eat Unseelie.”
He knew. Of course he knew. It amps up all the senses, hearing, sight, taste, touch. It’s what makes it so addictive—and the super-sized strength is icing on the cake. You feel alive, incredibly alive. Everything is more vivid.
“We’d been in bed all night, fucking—”
“T-the-fuck-M-I,” I snarl.
“You think I don’t know what that means. Alina used to say it. Too much information. It disturbs you to hear of the passion your sister and I shared.”
“It sickens me.”
When he turns, his gaze is cool. “I made her happy.”
“You didn’t keep her safe. Even if you didn’t kill her, she died on your watch.”
He flinches almost imperceptibly.
I think, Nice, real nice, got that fake emotion down real well.
“I thought she was ready. I believed what she felt for me would win in one of your idiotic human battles of morality. I was wrong.”
“So she followed you. Did she confront you?”
He shakes his head. “She saw me through the windows at LaRuhe—”
“They’re painted black.”
“They weren’t yet. I did that later. She watched me meet with my Unseelie guard and overheard our conversation about freeing more of the Dark Court. She heard them call me Lord Master. After my guard left and I was alone, I waited to see what she would do, if she would come in, if she would give us a chance. She didn’t. She fled, and I followed, at a distance. She spent hours walking around Temple Bar, crying in the rain. I waited, gave her space, time to clarify her thoughts. Humans do not think as quickly as Fae. They struggle with simple concepts. It is astounding your species ever managed to—”
“Spare me your condescending judgments and I’ll spare you mine,” I cut him off, in no mood to listen to him condemn my race. His race already did that. Billions dead. All because of their petty power struggles.
He inclines his head imperiously. “I went to her apartment later that day. I found her in the bedroom, climbing out the window, onto the fire escape.”
“See? She was afraid of you.”
“She was terrified. It made me angry. I had given her no reason to fear me. I dragged her back in. We fought. I told her she was human, stupid and small. She called me a monster. She said I tricked her. That it was all a lie. It was not. Or, rather, it was at first but then it wasn’t. I would have made her my queen. I told her that. And that I still would. But she wouldn’t listen. She wouldn’t even look at me. Finally I left. But I did not kill her, MacKayla. Like you, I do not know who did.”
“Who trashed her apartment?”
“I told you we fought. Our anger was as intense as our lust.”
“Did you take her journal?”
“I went back for it after I learned she was dead. It was not there. I took photo albums. It was then, when I found her calendar book, that I discovered her ‘friend’ Mac was really her sister. She lied to me. I was not the only one who was duplicitous. I have lived among your kind long enough to know this means she knew from the beginning something about me was not what it seemed. And wanted me anyway. I believe that if she had not been murdered, in time she would have come to me, chosen me of her own free will.”
Yes, I think, she would have come to you. With a weapon in her hand, just like I will.
“I needed to know if you shared her unique talents. Had you not arrived in Dublin when you did, I would have had you brought to me.”
I absorb that and am furious. It’s very important to me to pinpoint the exact moment my life started going wrong. Especially now.
It goes back further than I’d realized.
The moment Alina left for Dublin and began heading toward the day she would encounter him, there’d been no hope of my life turning out any other way. Events had been set in motion that trapped me. I would have embarked upon exactly the same path, through a different door. If I’d not disobeyed my parents and flown to Ireland to investigate Alina’s murder, would he have sent the Hunters after me? The princes? Maybe dispatched the Shades to devour my town and drive me out?
One way or another, I would have ended up here, with him, in the middle of this mess.
“Because of your sister, I resisted harming you.”
More than anything he has ever said, those words stun me. I stand half dazed as they echo through my brain, knocking loose conflicting thoughts, nudging them to where they no longer oppose. Without warning, my convictions shift and settle into a new position. I’m startled by where they end up, but they moved with such logic and simplicity that I can’t deny the veracity.
Darroc did care about Alina.
I believe him.
There was something I’d never been able to explain to my own satisfaction: I’d wondered why Darroc hadn’t been more aggressive, more brutal with me from the very first. It had made no sense to me. He’d seemed almost lackadaisical in his efforts to abduct me and had kept offering me the chance to come willingly. What kind of world-destroying villain did that? It was certainly not what I’d expected from my sister’s murderer. Mallucé had been far deadlier, far more ruthless. Of the two, I’d been much more terrified of the wannabe vamp when I’d first arrived.
Occam’s razor: The simplest explanation that accommodates all variables is most likely the truth. Darroc had resisted harming me because of Alina. He’d restrained himself because he’d cared about my sister.
Just how much—and how much I could use it against him—remained to be seen.
“My deference undermined my efforts, and the Hunters began to question my conviction.”
“So you had me raped and turned Pri-ya,” I say bitterly. How quickly he’d gone from deference to murder, because that’s what turning me Pri-ya had been tantamount to. Until Barrons had pulled me back, no one had ever recovered from being made a mindless Fae sex slave. They died from it.
“I needed to solidify my position. Then I lost you before I even had the chance to begin using you.”