Why was Josh staring at her like that? Why didn't he come outside and say hi? Hannah swallowed and wiped the sweat off her forehead. She felt strange. Grabbing the crate of records, she tried to keep her balance. A buzzing sound filled her head and she felt dizzier by the minute.
And all of a sudden, she knew that this had happened before. She knew it, having the strongest, strangest sense of déjà vu ever. It was like she'd felt this a long time ago. This feeling of longing for Josh, and at the same time, this total sense of separation from him. A sharp, stabbing pain in her heart because all he did was observe her, unwilling to move, unable to reach out and touch her.
What was happening to her? Staggering backwards, she fumbled in her bag to find a bottle of water. Maybe the heat outside was becoming too much for her. She couldn't shake the absurd feeling that Josh was somehow pushing her away.
Well, she wouldn't be the one to break the spell by walking into the store and saying hello, pretending she hadn't seen him yet. If he didn't want to talk to her, fine. That was his choice.
Still feeling slightly dazed, Hannah turned around and took several deep breaths. Her vision became clear again. It was time to stick to her original plan and visit the library. The building would probably be air-conditioned, so at least she could cool down and get herself together.
She grabbed her backpack and hurried to the street corner where she'd spotted a town map in the bus stop. Without looking back at the store, she made her way to South Lake Powell Boulevard and climbed the broad stone steps leading up to the library. Once inside, she sat down on the nearest couch she saw and opened her bag.
To her own surprise, she pulled out her notebook and a pen instead of her water bottle. That feeling of déjà vu had given her a sudden flash of inspiration. Frantically scribbling, she jotted down a set of lyrics to her song. No way would she have the guts to sing it to Josh, like, ever, but at least she'd managed to get the confusing emotions out of her system for now.
Hannah put away the notebook, got up and wandered through the library, slowly making her way to the section on religion and spirituality. After a bit of browsing, she managed to collect four books about Navajo religion and vision quests. Flopping down on a couch next to the bookcase, she put the pile of books on her lap and got out her notebook once more, to make notes of any interesting things she came across.