I can't see Captain Mathis' face, for which I'm glad. He doesn't drop me, so I assume he's not too pissed. After our unnerving exchange, though, I kind of hope he is, so we can go back to hating each other. Whenever we're alone together, I learn too much about him and me that makes me want to leave camp and never look back.
"Come on across," Petr tells me. "Slowly." He holds out a hand.
Captain Mathis loosens his grip, and I shift around him, stretching one leg until my foot finds the first board. It's not entirely steady, and Sawyer doesn't release me immediately. Resting my full weight on the board, I take a tentative step.
He lets go, and I make my way across them and fling myself into Petr's arms.
"Good Kitty-Khav," Petr grunts, catching me and squeezing me tight. "What the fuck made you leave the path?"
"Language," I mutter.
"None of that shit, Katya." He takes my arms and pushes me away, blue eyes piercing. "You know better!"
"Don't yell!" I snap. I'm on the verge of crying again and give him puppy dog eyes.
He sighs. "Don't scare me like that." He bear hugs me once more.
I breathe in his familiar scent, comfortable in his arms.
"Is Jenna okay?" I mumble into his chest.
"Yeah. Scared. We'll have a medic look her over."
Guilt works its way through me. Petr is right; I'm an idiot. All I had to do was stay on the course, and everything would be okay. I didn't listen, and Jenna might be hurt.
Exhausted after the long day, I'm ready to crawl into a real bed and cry myself to sleep.
Petr takes my hand and leads me away. I don't dare look at Captain Mathis, embarrassed that he of all people had to rescue me. It doesn't help that I'm replaying our conversation in my head.
I'm not broken. At least, I don't want to be. I don't know what's what anymore. I'm too tired to think straight.
When you're ready, let me know.
Of everything that happened today, I can't stop the thrill that goes through me as I dwell on his words or the tiny voice in my head that can't stop hoping maybe, he meant something more than talking.
Not that I want that. I don't have a clue what I do want.
There's too much for me to think about, and my body is toast after the long day. Carson hands Jenna over to me.
"You okay, sweetie?" I whisper, hugging her close.
She nods and wraps her arms around my neck.