"It'll be good for you to learn," he says and rests his hands on my shoulders, shifting my body. He squares me to face him. "This is a good stance for you for our drills."
"Because somehow this will help me forget Mikael's death?" I challenge.
Every once in a while, something sparks in his eyes that makes me think I've hit some emotion. Just as quickly, it's gone.
"No, Katya," he says quietly. "Because everyone should know the basics." He drops his hands.
I watch him move away.
"Fall in!" he belts to the kids.
They scramble to face him, lining up from tallest to shortest.
"My god! They look like the Von Trapp kids," I say, shaking my head.
Captain Mathis ignores me. "Pair up and gather around," he instructs the six sleepy members of our team. "We're going to do some self-defense training."
Returning to me, he addresses the kids.
"First lesson of self-defense. Escape if you can. Don't fight someone bigger or stronger. Got it?"
The kids nod.
"Second, if you have to defend yourself, remember the parts of the body that work well as weapons: Meat of your palm. Fist. Elbow. Forehead. Hips. Knees. Heels." He raises or points to each as he speaks slowly. "Got it?" He repeats them, and the kids mirror his movement. "Now, put one of those in the part of a body where it hurts to get hit. Throat, eyes, groin, solar plexus, toes, fingers."
I assess him as I listen. The kids seem entranced.
He talks them through a few things, and I try to pay attention. But in truth, I'm feeling the lack of caffeine and having trouble concentrating. Jenna giving a shriek startles me, and I jerk out of my thoughts.
She's in a fighting stance, pretending to kick an invisible opponent. The other kids laugh, and Captain Mathis is smiling. He kneels down in front of her.
"See how balanced she is?" he asks, pushing her shoulder gently. "Something to remember. Always keep your feet on the ground and maintain your balance."
My goodness, she's adorable with her fierce scowl.
"Let's start with a few scenarios. Remember what I told you?" he asks, standing. "You're at the mall and someone grabs you."
He beckons to me, and I approach reluctantly, certain I'm about to become the crash test dummy. Captain Mathis circles me and wraps both arms around me. The move shocks me, as much from the sudden impact of our bodies, as the hardness and strength behind me. I was expecting a punch, not a full-body connection.
The strange sensations that overwhelm my thinking throw me into complete awareness without coffee. Touching him is like downing a shot of whiskey. My blood is on fire, my senses scattered. I'm no longer cold this early, not with his body heat finding its way through my clothing. It's hard not to want to melt against him, to relax in his arms and know without a doubt he's strong enough to support me.