She smiles. "I think I know what I need to. The rest we'll learn together."
"So do you want to be mine or not?" I challenge.
Taking my face in her hands, Katya kisses me with her usual passion. I hold her while we kiss slowly, leisurely, taking the time to savor her taste and the velvety depths of her mouth.
"You know I do, Sawyer." She drops back onto her heels, gaze on me. "But I do have one question."
"Shoot," I reply. "Ask me anything."
"Are you serious about June?" A flush accompanies the hesitant question.
"How far we take this is up to you." I rest my forehead against hers, speaking gently. "If you can live with a Marine, then tell me when and where to be on June third. If not, I'll come home to you, until you tell me not to."
The words are difficult for me to say. I'm not accustomed to letting go of control over my life, especially not with something this serious.
"Okay," she whispers.
I'm not entirely certain what that means. I don't ask. It's a lot to think about on day one, and I'd rather know she was certain.
"You do understand it's not easy, right?" I ask again.
"Yes. And I know you'll be in danger." A tremor works its way through her body. "I'm really glad you came back, Sawyer."
"Me, too." I kiss her forehead and release her. "Want to walk out back?"
She nods, the thoughtful expression remaining.
Whatever she's thinking, whatever she eventually decides, I know I'm committed. It's out of my hands. Surprisingly, I'm not uncomfortable or uneasy about it. I suspected last night how this would go, from the moment she showed me her scars, and I'm confident it will unfold the way I want it to.
I dress quickly, and we walk hand in hand towards the snow-topped hedges of the family cemetery. It looks far different than I recall, the roses and flowers gone for the winter. It's still peaceful, and the stone walkways winding through the garden are clear of snow.
"Can I have a minute with him?" Katya asks.
"Of course." I let go of her hand and hang back as she approaches Mikael's tombstone and kneels.
This place gives me mixed feelings. It's hard for me to recall that nine months ago, I was standing in this same spot, watching one of my men being buried after the worst experience of my life. It's difficult to digest how far Katya and I have come, how much pain we both went through and how that shadow of Mikael's death will always linger.