Mine.
The word was a declaration. It rocked him to his very foundation. It was a truth he’d kept hidden for far too long. Caleb didn’t know anything about love, or loving anyone, but he knew…Livvie, was his. He owned her. He possessed her and he knew, with everything he was, he couldn’t give her away.
Mine!
Mine!
Mine!
Rafiq will understand. I’ll make him understand.
Caleb was far from rational. Deep down, he knew Rafiq wouldn’t understand. He would see it as the deepest betrayal. He would demand the impossible of Caleb. Rafiq would try to hurt them both. Caleb pushed those thoughts away.
Before common sense could return, Caleb gently raised Livvie’s hands and untied her wrists. Livvie sighed, and Caleb lied down on top of her in time to watch her eyes flutter open. He stared into her deep, chocolate-colored eyes and saw himself reflected in their depths as she focused on him. A myriad of feelings passed through him, jealousy and possessiveness at the forefront. He needed to make her his: unequivocally and irreversibly.
Livvie’s expression turned inscrutable. She lay under Caleb, her arms limp at her sides, her expressive eyes cold and distant.
Caleb wanted nothing more than to know what she was thinking, but he was too terrified to ask. The feeling of terror was foreign and unwanted. The last time he’d felt it, Livvie was in a house, bleeding, broken, and barely holding on to her life. He’d been terrified then and he’d barely known her. The way he felt for her now paled in comparison. He dared not ask what was in her heart. He knew he couldn’t bear to hear it.
“I can’t stand the smell of him on you,” Caleb sneered.
Tears sprang to Livvie’s eyes and trailed down her temples. She closed her eyes and turned her head away from Caleb.
He put his hand on her face and forced her to face him.
Don’t ask.
Don’t ask.
Fuck! I’m going to ask.
He needed to know. He needed to know if her love for him was real. He needed to know hope was not lost and he could still, against all odds, repair the damage he had done.
“Did you enjoy it?” he asked. He tried not to make it sound like an accusation, but he knew he fell short. Livvie raised her hands to her face, covering her eyes and mouth as she began weeping. Again, Caleb refused to let her hide. He reached for her hands and pressed them into the bed above her.
“Tell me!” he snapped.
“I don’t know what you want me to say!” she cried.
“Tell me the truth! Did you like sucking his dick? Did he eat your pu**y better than I do?” Caleb’s thoughts were suddenly murderous. He had meant to be kind, he had meant to be gentle, but it just wasn’t his way. He no longer knew what ‘his way’ was.
“Yes!” Livvie screamed, “Yes, you son-of-a-bitch. I liked it. Isn’t that why you made me do it? So you could parade me around like a trained f**king poodle?”
Caleb saw red. He squeezed Livvie’s wrists until she cried out in pain and he forced himself to let go. Her words hurt him.
Mine! You’re f**king mine!
Caleb pulled away from Livvie and reached for his belt. He unfastened it quickly and pulled it free in one swift jerk. Livvie gasped, scrambling backward across the bedspread. Caleb caught her ankle and dragged her back toward the edge of the bed. She folded her knees and crossed her arms over her br**sts.
The plug in Livvie’s ass was clearly visible and the sight sent the strangest series of emotions through him, not the least of which was lust. He leaned forward above her and braced his arm across her legs to keep her bent. He chanced a glance up at her face and saw the terror in her eyes as she strove to remain perfectly still.
He reached down and pressed his palm against the plug. Livvie groaned and shut her eyes, but made no move to stop him. Caleb knew it was cruel to keep her in such a position, but his anger and lust kept him from gentling.
Caleb’s fingers traced the rim of Livvie’s hole, stretched around the plug. “How about this, Kitten? Do you like this? Should I invite everyone downstairs to watch?”
Livvie closed her eyes and turned away with a whimper.
“Look at me,” he said and tugged gently on the plug until she complied. “Do you want me to take this out?”
“Yes, Master,” she whimpered. Tears ran down her temples.
“Ah! It’s Master, now, is it?” he said. “You’re so much more obedient when you’ve something rammed up your ass.” He tugged again.
“Please, don’t! I only did it because you told me to!” she sobbed.
“Quiet! You don’t want to provoke me,” he said. His body trembled with rage.
You’re scaring her, you idiot. You won’t get to her this way.
Caleb knew he was hearing the voice of reason in his head, but he seemed unable to help himself. His fingers traced the edges of the plug, over and over until he could feel Livvie’s hips rocking on their own.
“Tell me you like this,” he said. Lust edged his voice.
“I like it,” she whispered.
Caleb continued his gentle, but sadistic exploration. He watched as Livvie’s tears wet her face, but her teeth nibbled on her lip. She felt pleasure, but she also felt shame. It was a feeling Caleb understood all too well.
Slowly, he pressed on her muscles and pulled on the plug. He wanted it out. He wanted all evidence of the past twenty-four hours stripped away from her body and from his mind.
“Relax,” he snapped, when he felt her tighten up. “Push the plug out,” he ordered.
“I can’t,” Livvie sobbed.
“Push, now!” he said and spanked her upturned ass. It wasn’t much of a slap, but his point was made. Livvie squeezed her eyes shut and pushed at the same time Caleb slid his finger in around the plug to loosen the suction created by Livvie’s ass.
Slowly, he wiggled the plug back and forth as Livvie pushed, until finally, it popped out. “Oh!” Livvie cried out.
As Caleb dispensed with the toy, Livvie turned onto her side and wept into his bedspread. He returned shortly, at a loss for how he wanted to proceed. He needed to make her his. He pulled her up off the bed and turned her toward it. His heart ached when she didn’t resist.
Easy, Caleb. Don’t break her. Win her.
Caleb wrapped his arms around Livvie and pulled her close. He needed her close. She trembled in his arms, her chest heaved with sobs. Caleb buried his nose in her neck and shut his eyes tightly.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know. I know you only did it because I told you to.” Livvie gasped and squirmed in his arms as she tried to turn around, but Caleb held her in place. He needed to say things to her and he couldn’t do it unless his eyes were closed and her body was pressed against his. That was his way.
He’d confessed so many things to her in the dark. He’d whispered to her as she’d slept. He’d held her close to him and fantasized about all the things he wanted and yet felt could never be his. He’d discovered a secret place inside himself in those moments.
He was done fantasizing. He wanted his desires to become reality.
“I’m f**ked in the head, Livvie. I know it. I know I’m wrong,” he whispered and held her tighter. She was frozen in his arms.
“I felt like I didn’t have a choice. Felipe’s been watching us since we got here. He has cameras everywhere,” he continued. Livvie gasped. “But I did have a choice. I could have told him to go f**k himself. I could have killed him right then and there – but I didn’t.”
“Rafiq will be here soon and I…. I needed a way to let you go. I needed a way to remind myself I can’t keep you.” Caleb could feel himself getting choked up. His skin crawled with heat and shame. He was weak to express so much, but now the floodgates had opened, he could do nothing but hold tight to Livvie as he was battered against the rocks.
“I’ve lived a horrible life. I’ve done terrible, unspeakable things. You have to know, I’m not sorry. I’ve never killed anyone who didn’t deserve it. The scars on my back are the least of what I’ve suffered. And it’s only because of Rafiq I’m alive.”
“No, Caleb,” Livvie whimpered.
Caleb squeezed her again, too roughly. He loosened his hold when Livvie whined, but he couldn’t let her go. “I don’t know how to make you understand. I don’t know how to tell you how much I owe him. I owe him everything! But God, help me – I can’t….”
He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t tell her how much she had come to mean to him. She could destroy him with her rejection. If she had feigned her feelings for him – if he’d bought into her lies and her quest for freedom…. He wasn’t sure what he would do. He could hurt her.
Mine!
“I couldn’t stand to see you with that motherfucker downstairs. I wanted to beat him unconscious. Even now, I can smell him on you and it makes me sick!” He growled.
Livvie cried. She struggled in Caleb’s grasp until she freed her arms. She placed them over his hands and squeezed them. “I didn’t want to,” she sobbed. “But…you’re just…you’re all over the place! One minute, I think…you must feel something. You have to care! But the next…. Caleb, you’re awful. You’re cruel and you…you break my heart.”