Seduce Me in Shadow - Page 30/44

“Become a part of me, as I become a part of you . . .”

Sydney, flushed and damp, looked up at him with those big chocolate eyes. A coy smile curved her lips. “I think you have.”

He tried to clamp his jaw shut, keep the other words in.

“In fact, I know you are,” she murmured, moving with him. “And I love it.”

Damn, that wasn’t helping his restraint. Caden picked up the pace, sliding inside her with more urgency. The desire and the need to speak the Call were gaining steam, colliding in his head, coiling together in his belly. The need swelled, more than pleasure, more than emotion. Belonging. A desire to claim.

The next words slipped out. “Ever after, I promise—”

Before he could finish the sentence, Sydney moaned, tightening around him, her sex beginning to pulse in a way no man, wizard or otherwise, could resist.

I promise myself to thee.

With a guttural shout, ecstasy congealed deep inside him. He roared as pleasure shot through his body like a supernova.

Each day we share, I will be honest, good, and true. If this you seek, heed my call . . .

As he held her against him, the sense that she was meant for him clogged his throat, filled his chest. Frightening. Intense. Impossible.

Inevitable? Magic wasn’t choosing a mate for him. It wasn’t going to rule him or ruin her. Still, this felt like more than magic. Instinct aside, he liked her grit and determination, respected her intelligence. Her sassy mouth made him hard. If he’d remained human and been choosing a wife, he suspected he’d pursue Sydney to the ends of the earth.

Now, he couldn’t think about that. He had another objective: to prevent her from transcasting. Once accomplished and Lucan’s life was fixed, he’d be back in Texas with the Doomsday Brethren in his proverbial rearview mirror.

But what do I have to return to? Disturbed by the question, Caden withdrew, stood, righted his jeans, then looked at Sydney, all flushed and disheveled and gorgeous.

He found himself saying, “I promise . . .”

The Mating Call clogged his throat. Instead, he shook his head, then took a step back. “I promise to do everything in my power to keep you from transcasting. And to protect you. I can’t let you get more involved with magickind. I’ll be watching.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

A HALF HOUR LATER, Bram crashed through the back door. Tynan came next, with Marrok following behind, slapping him on the back and smiling. Just like that, the new bloke had been accepted. The lot of them looked smug.

Already on edge from his encounter with Sydney in the library, Caden stared, anger he didn’t understand slicing through his gut. So Bram had found a new warrior with no battle experience or training. Caden crossed his arms over his chest. He wasn’t one of the Doomsday Brethren, so he shouldn’t care that Bram had chosen someone so untried. In fact, he should be thrilled that Bram had already added his replacement to the ranks. Or he would be, once his mood improved.

Olivia filed in next, then Sabelle, the wind tugging at her blond curls. Ice followed close behind, his green eyes glued to the gorgeous witch like he wanted to swallow her whole. She tossed a long glance over her shoulder, until Duke entered and shut the door behind him.

Behind Caden, Sydney marched down the stairs. When he’d been changing into all black to resume his search for Anka, Sydney had gone upstairs, likely checked on Aquarius, and showered.

Now, she walked past him, a siren to his senses. He wanted her again—and not just sexually. Being near her soothed and fired him at once.

Denying her and his feelings would be much easier if he didn’t suspect that he loved every stubborn, passionate inch of her. So he could not continue this . . . thing with Sydney. He could only stop her plans to transcast before she entangled herself more deeply in magickind, keep his mouth shut and his trousers zipped.

At the moment, she was clearly avoiding him, hovering in the doorway to the library, never looking in his direction. Not that he was surprised. He’d seen the hurt on her face, and he hated himself for it. But he simply wasn’t the crusader she was. He’d been burned by magic as a kid, suffered loss after loss as a Marine. Staying here, taking the chance to get close to her—everyone, really—in the middle of this war was a recipe for insanity. He refused to drink the Kool-Aid.

Grasping her arm, he stopped her and murmured, “Please drop this transcasting idea.”

She yanked free of his grip and crossed her arms over her chest. “Please stop hiding from me and yourself.”

Direct never worked with Sydney. She gave as good as she got. Maybe another tactic. “I know you’re frustrated with me for many reasons. I’m sorry. But you can’t protect yourself during this war, and I don’t want to see you hurt.”

The uber-bitch façade dropped, and she looked at him as if he was ripping her heart out. Seeing her hold back tears was a pick axe to his chest.

“I can’t sit about and do nothing. If you cared for me at all, you’d understand that.”

“Firecracker, it’s because I care that I can’t let you,” he said, voice low.

She arched an auburn brow at him. “You never asked me what I wanted. What I was willing to risk? You assumed that, like you, I shouldn’t risk anything. You’re not even being honest about why you won’t permanently join Bram. So I’m not surprised that you can’t be honest with me about your feelings.”

Before he could reply, Bram and the others spilled into the hallway. Caden bit his tongue, wanting to tell her there was so much she didn’t understand. But even if she did, Sydney still wouldn’t comprehend not diving in with total passion. Despite what had happened to Anka, she still insisted on doing what she believed was right. He’d known soldiers who prayed for such courage. She both amazed and terrified him.

“We’re going to brief Tynan on Mathias’s attacks and any other relevant information. Joining us?” Bram asked.

Caden shook his head. “I’m searching for Anka. My brother isn’t improving, despite Sabelle’s efforts.”

Bram hesitated. “Yet.”

“Can you spare anyone to help me?” He glanced over to Tynan, who was still wearing an eternal glower. Something inside him twinged when he saw how naturally the O’Shea bloke fit in with the others. Even after weeks, Caden almost always felt like an outsider. But Tynan had melded with the group after less than an hour. “Or do you no longer need me now that you have someone new?”

Bram frowned. “We need every hand we can get. You and I have had our differences, but we share a common goal: doing what’s best for Lucan.”

“As long as that doesn’t interfere with your war.”

Nodding, Bram didn’t make any apologies. “It can’t. Will you stay and fight? I’ll send the others out with you tonight, regardless. After that I have to devote all the resources I can to defeating Mathias if you won’t remain.”

They had planned the attack on Mathias’s compound. As soon as Shock surfaced again, they’d finish their plans and implement. He didn’t want to tie himself any closer to magic than necessary, but what if Anka had been recaptured? Could he let this opportunity pass?

“Yes,” he muttered.

Bram smiled. “Until then.”

“In the meantime, she has nothing to say that you should hear.” Caden pointed at Sydney. “Are we clear?”

“Damn you!” Sydney spat.

Bram fought a smile. “Indeed.”

Then the wizard turned away, gesturing to Tynan to enter his office. Marrok followed, closing the door behind them. The feeling that they were shutting him out intensified. Foolish, since he hadn’t wished to join in the first place.

“Where to?” Ice asked, slipping on a pair of leather gloves to ward off the November chill.

Caden had no idea.

Standing alone in the hall, Sydney huffed at the closed doors. All the men were now gone. Not only had Caden cut off her access to Bram, he’d abandoned her again—after trying to tell her what to do. Bloody prat!

It was stupid that magickind knew nothing of their worst enemy returning from exile to wreak havoc on them all. They should be informed not only of the truth, but of safety precautions, ways to reach out in case they were attacked, who to contact in the event of a Mathias sighting. Something.

Thinking about that almost kept her mind off Caden and the fact he wanted her body and sought to protect her, but held back from truly being with her. What was in his head? She’d chalk it up to a typical fear of commitment, but he wasn’t entirely immune to her emotionally. There was some . . . tug between them. Or had her entries in the diary created some artificial emotions in him?

With a sigh, she left Aquarius lying amid fresh ice packs and meandered into the library. It looked different with the lights blazing. Sabelle and Olivia now occupied the sofa. Did they have any notion what she and Caden had been doing there an hour ago?

“I didn’t until you thought about it,” Sabelle said with a teasing smile. “Join us?”

Aquarius was resting, and Sydney had set aside the loads of notes about her story. She could do something now if she could talk to Bram or his sister. “Thank you.”

With a nod and a smile, Sabelle gestured to Sydney to sit in a nearby chair. As she did, the witch said, “Talk to me about what?”

“A way I can help magickind. Caden is furious, and may . . . I don’t know, paralyze my mouth if I say this, but—”

She burst out laughing. “Caden is out, so he can’t overhear.”

True, but that worried Sydney as well. For all anyone knew, Mathias could be searching for Anka. If he was, if Caden found both of them and there was trouble. . . . She worried about him, too. But she hadn’t tried to prohibit him from doing what he must.

“Caden, Ice, and Duke are large wizards. Experienced fighters. Mathias is currently weak,” Sabelle said.

“But they’re all helping.” Even if Caden didn’t want to. “Caden expects me to do nothing but cower in the name of safety.”

“Wizards can be overprotective,” Sabelle added. “My brother epitomizes that.”

“Amen,” Olivia added. “I love Marrok—most days. Then he brings on the ‘me big warrior, you little woman’ attitude. I have to remind him that I’m not playing that game.”

Sydney smiled. She could actually see the little brunette standing up to her massive husband, and him backing down . . . eventually. He loved her to distraction; even Sydney had noticed. And she was green with envy.

Caden had his moments. While making love to her earlier today, he said something more romantic and poetic than any man had ever said to her. Become a part of me, as I become a part of you . . .

“He said what?” Sabelle demanded.

Wincing, Sydney flushed red. “Sorry. I need to keep my thoughts to myself.”

Sabelle waved away her apology. “He said, ‘Become a part of me, as I become a part of you’?”

“Yes.”

The blond witch and Olivia exchanged a glance. Uh oh, something was afoot.

“Is that a problem?”

Sabelle hesitated. “Did he say anything after that?”

Sydney scanned her memory. “ ‘Ever after, I promise—’ then he stopped and turned into an overbearing lout.”

Sabelle’s raised brow and another look at Olivia said she understood. Good. Perhaps the witch could enlighten her.

“Indeed,” Sabelle said. “When a wizard takes a mate—a wife, in human terms—he speaks words. A Mating Call. What Caden said begins the wizard’s vow to his mate. Not the overbearing lout bit, though that comes with the territory.”

Heart beating in triple time, Sydney gasped. “So he speaks those words and poof, we’re mated? For life?”

“Not quite that simple, no. You have to answer his Call.”

“And then?”

“You’re mates for up to a thousand years. No worrying about picking the right china pattern.”

A proposal and a wedding all at once. Efficient. Had Caden really meant to “propose” to her, or had that been the diary’s influence?

“I’m confused. Human males can take an annoyingly long time to decide if they’re in love and want to marry. Caden and I have known each other just over a week. I love him, but . . . is a wizard any different than a regular man?”

Olivia snorted. “Want a list?”

Sabelle giggled. “Indeed. Magic cuts through a great many human mating rituals. A wizard knows his mate by taste. Instantly. One kiss, one taste of her—any fluid—and he knows. Often, her taste compels the words immediately.” She looked behind her, ensured the door was shut, then whispered, “It happened to my brother just before Caden came to work with you. He met a woman in a pub and brought her here—most unlike him. By morning, they were mated, and she had run off. Bram told me, one kiss and he could hardly keep the words to himself.”

One kiss? That explained so much. And it nearly crushed her. “Caden has never kissed me. I thought maybe he wasn’t the kissing sort or something. So often, we were rushed or he was frenzied.” Sydney flushed, realizing how much of her personal life she was spilling. “But he never tasted me in any way. Why would he think I’m his mate?”

“Instinct. It would tell him eventually. A kiss would tell him more quickly.”

From the first, he’d been avoiding locking lips with her. Pain stabbed her chest, shattered her heart. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t swallow. Tears were an ice pick in the back of her eyes. She tried to keep them in, but they fell anyway. Caden had squashed his instinct once he’d suspected she was his mate.

Or was she? Maybe writing her sexual fantasies of him in that bloody book had wrought some lust cloud that prompted those mating words. Maybe he hadn’t finished them because he hadn’t meant them.

“If he spoke even a few of the words, he knows,” Sabelle assured.