I lift the second shot and down it. It doesn't burn as badly this time. The bartender gives me a third, but mutters something about slowing down. I don't care. I cradle the glass in my hand, watching the contents swirl. The door opens and closes a few times. People come and go. Their lives go on even though mine fell apart.
When I down the third drink, I slam it back down on the bar. My fingers pinch the glass. I'd been staring at my phone and the shot glass the entire time. I didn't bother to look up. When I do, I nearly choke. Those sapphire blue eyes lock with mine and steal my breath.
Cole.
Chapter 7
My heart crawls up my throat and into my mouth. Every hair on my body stands on end and I shiver. It's like seeing a ghost. He was mine, and now he's not. Cole doesn't move, he doesn't say anything. He just sits there in his silk shirt and watches me from across the bar. An unbidden memory flashes behind my eyes of another time Cole watched me, and my cheeks flame red.
Eyes locked with Cole, I clear my throat and tap at my empty glass. The bartender is an older guy, Charlie. His hair is graying at his temples, dark eyes, and he's really nice. Charlie pours, and steps in front of me, blocking Cole. I look up at him. "Anna," Charlie says in a whisper, "someone's going to have to scrape you off the floor if you drink that. You want me to call someone?"
I shake my head, but the room tilts. I think about something he said before about my weight and it finally make sense. I smile. "Lightweight, ah, that's what you said." I take the glass from him. My body is warm and tingly. For once, I don't have the throbbing sense of loss in the center of my chest.
Charlie looks at me and shakes his head like I disappoint him. "Let me know when you want to leave and I'll call you a cab."
I nod and regret it. The room appears to shift again. It tilts higher, like a boat stuck at the top of a wave, and then settles back to where it should be. When the room is no longer moving, it takes me longer to focus on Cole, but I do. He has stubble on his cheeks. It makes him look older than he is. There's a drink in his hand, probably scotch. His dark hair hangs over his eyes, making them seem bluer. Torment lines his face, like he hasn't slept in weeks. Cole watches me, his eyes never drifting from mine.
I hold the drink longer than I intend, but I want to be able to walk home. Right now, with the way the bar seems to be swaying beneath me, that won't be possible. I giggle to myself. I love boat rides. That's what this feels like, a boat ride. The waves roll up and down, gently swaying me, or the room, or both. I don't really care. My mind snaps back to Cole and the momentary happy thought is blasted to bits.
I roll the rim of the glass between my thumb and forefinger, watching Cole. Neither of us speaks. Words pile in my mouth of things I want to say, but I know I'll never have the chance. It makes me feel hollow and brittle. In all my life, a single man has never had such an effect on me. I feel broken without Cole, like a piece of me snapped off and will never return.
I wonder if I'm like Jesse, if Cole admires me, but that's all. The look on Cole's face says something else, but I don't know what. I lean forward on the bar, stretching my arms out to help hold me up. It forces my cleavage up, pressing hard against my neckline. I lift the glass and put it to my lips. Cole's eyes track the movement, and his lips part like he wants to say something. Our eyes lock and for some reason it feels like he's telling me not to drink it, to put the glass down. We stare at each other for a few moments and then I toss back the shot. It doesn't even burn this time. I place the glass on the bar top and look at it. It's very pretty, all short and thick. The light shines through the clear glass, making an illuminated star on the bar top. I gaze at it and all the pretty points, and when I lift my head, Cole is gone.
Anguish rushes into my chest, crushing me. I can't do this. I can't see him and not react. My arms slip down and I rest my head on the bar.
A second later I feel a hand on my back, and Cole's voice is in my ear, "Come on, Anna. I'll take you home." He slaps down some cash and it sounds way too loud.
It takes me a second to realize that Cole's trying to get me to stand up. The bartender and the bouncer both look at me like they're concerned, but neither of them says anything. Cole pushes us through the door and I'm hit with a gust of cool air. It makes me shiver. I wrap my arms around myself and look down. Sparklie yellow sneakers are on my feet. I love them! We stop walking so I can wiggle my toes and watch them glitter.
Cole's warm hand wraps around my arm, "What is it with you and those shoes?" He pulls me gently, encouraging me to walk. I look up, surprised to see him.
"I saw you in the bar," I say, smiling at his beautiful face. We stop walking and I speak to his chest, not looking at his eyes. My fingers lift and fuss with his collar. "I never thought I'd see you again, and there you are." I blink and look up at him like he's not really here. Narrowing my eyes, I try to focus harder, expecting him to vanish when I do so. When he's still there, I lift my finger and press it hard to his chest. "You are here." I want to cry. I want to weep. I want to giggle. My emotions are short circuiting and I have no idea what to do.
Cole takes my hand as my finger presses to his chest again. "I'm here. I admit, I came looking for you and lost my nerve. I didn't expect you to walk in and get plastered." He's looking at me with those sexy eyes and I feel paralyzed.
I know I need to say something. "I couldn't sleep."
"Neither could I." He looks at me with such a humble expression on his face. Cole looks lost, his eyes drink me in, as his hands linger close to my face like he wants to touch me, but he doesn't. My gaze drops to my feet. I stare at the dirty side walk and my bright yellow sneakers.