He took both her hands in his and lifted them to his mouth, the softness of his kisses to her knuckles making her feel cherished. The sensation was foreign to her. All her life she’d had to be responsible. To look out for herself. But this, this felt surprisingly like being looked after. Warmth bloomed deep inside her.
“Blair, I cannot explain to you how I felt when I arrived back in Auckland and heard of the fire. They said there were casualties, but I had no way of knowing if it was you they were talking about. That journey from the airport was the longest of my life. And then, when I got to the restaurant, I couldn’t see you anywhere. To be honest, it was a relief to see you come at me with all your accusations.”
“I’m sorry. I was upset, crazy. I should never have said those things to you.”
Of course he’d been relieved to see her. After losing Marcella and their unborn babe, he would have been frantic about this child. Her heart ached with wanting even a fraction of that care to have been about her—just for herself.
“Don’t apologize,” Draco said, letting go of her hands and getting up to pace the room. “It is I who should apologize. I treated you as if I were some feudal overlord and you nothing more than one of my serfs. I saw you. I wanted you. It was that simple. And when I discovered you were pregnant with my baby, Blair, I was prepared to do anything and everything to keep you.”
A glimmer of hope kindled to life in Blair’s shadowed soul. Could he have feelings for her that went beyond the physical attraction that drew them together, that even now simmered beneath the surface?
“I was unfair to you when you asked about Marcella. To be honest, it pained me to talk about her. Not for the reasons I imagine you’re thinking. Yes, I loved her. Who could not? But was I in love with her? Did my sun rise and set with her? Did I spend every waking moment of every day after I met her looking forward to when we could be together again?” He shook his head disparagingly, his face drawn into sharp lines of self-contempt.
“No, I did not. And she deserved that. She deserved someone who would love her every second of every day. But instead, she loved me. And because she loved me she destroyed her life to give me what she believed would tie me to her in a way she never could. She allowed herself to become pregnant, knowing how dangerous that was, to make me love her more.
“I have lived with the guilt of knowing that for too long, Blair. I didn’t believe I deserved to love or to be loved. Not after being so cavalier with Marcella’s feelings, with her love for me.
“But then I met you, and instantly you brought light into my life. Suddenly I found reasons to work from home. You remember, si? When you first arrived at the palazzo with your tour, I was on my way out the building, but I saw you get off the tour bus and it was as if I was hit by lightning. I wanted you in that instant, and I still want you—even more than I did back then.”
“How could I forget?” Blair answered in a whisper.
Listening to Draco talk about their first meeting was like reliving the exquisite sensation of being instantly desired all over again.
“I thought that I was being given another chance,” Draco said, his voice so low she could barely hear him. “But you were only supposed to be with us that day. When you agreed to stay, I couldn’t believe my luck. My world began to spin on a new axis, up until you left again. You were so focused on your work, on Carson’s, that I couldn’t begin to see how I could tempt you into staying with me forever. Instead, all I could see again was what my life could be like. It was as if fate was playing a cruel joke on me by giving me what I so justly deserved. I’d taken Marcella’s love for me for granted and poured myself into my work, and suddenly, even though I didn’t realize yet that what I felt for you was love, you did exactly the same to me.”
Blair pressed her hand to her heart. If for one moment she’d known the depth of his feelings, could she believe she might have acted any differently? She had probably been so damaged by her father’s slant on love and his own obsession with his work, not to mention her own painfully failed relationship with Rhys, that she would not have been open to a permanent overture from Draco. Not then.
“Draco, I think you’re being too hard on yourself. How could Marcella not have loved you? You’re strong, successful and so handsome it makes me ache deep inside whenever I see you. And your heart, your passion for all that you love, is like a drug that makes those around you want to be part of that love—part of you.
“You terrified me and drew me like a magnet at the same time. But because of you, I’ve learned an awful lot about myself that I wasn’t prepared to see before. And I’ve learned to identify exactly what my greatest hopes and dreams are—”