Steven had been silent since they’d left the house, but he now held out a hand to Rose. “Come and sit with me.”
He was asking her to throw propriety to the wind. Ladies and gentlemen who were not related did not occupy the same seat in a carriage, and the ladies always rode facing forward while the gentlemen faced the rear of the coach.
The little rules seemed ridiculous now that they’d broken so many larger ones. Rose didn’t hesitate to go to Steven and snuggle in next to him. She laid her cheek on his warm coat, and he slid his arm around her as rain streaked the carriage windows like tears.
“My friend Ronald and I first met Laura five years ago, when we were on leave for Christmas,” Steven began. “And we both fell hard. She was twenty-two and a stunning beauty.”
“She is still quite pretty,” Rose managed to say. The bite of jealousy rose up in her again, but she would run back to the hotel alone in the rain before she’d admit it.
Steven touched her cheek. “You’re a generous soul, Rosie. Ronald and I made great fools of ourselves for her. We were best friends, closer than most brothers, and I think we enjoyed the game for her affections. She certainly enjoyed playing us one off the other. She had us fighting for her favors, each trying to trick the other out of escorting her to whatever outings we’d planned. We both went a little mad, threatening each other with dire fates. Laura sat between us and lapped up every morsel of it. I postured as much as Ronald, even coming to blows with him, but somewhere in the back of my mind, no matter how far things went, I still considered it all a game. After Christmas, we’d rejoin the regiment as best friends.” Steven drew a sharp breath. “When Laura chose me as her affianced, I was very proud of myself. What I didn’t realize at the time was that Ronald hated me for it.”
“Oh.” Rose’s heart squeezed, and she fought her demon again. No reason for it, she told herself. Clearly the marriage had not come to pass. “But she married Captain Ellis,” she said, puzzled.
Steven gave her a nod. “That came later, after I squired Laura about for the rest of that season, very full of myself. She quite played it up as well. What neither she nor I knew was how much Ronald felt it. I had no idea—I was only pleased I’d won the game. I play to win.” He let out a breath, sounding bitter. “One night, Ronald cornered me alone in my hotel room. He had a pistol and vowed to shoot me, then himself.”
Rose sat up in alarm. “Good heavens. What did you do?”
“He was very drunk, and I was able to wrestled the pistol away from him, thank God. But I saw the misery in his eyes. I realized in that single moment that Ronald loved Laura deeply, and I never had. I’d been infatuated, and wanted to best everybody, as I always do. I’d been gambling as usual, but this time with friendship and our lives.”Rose rubbed her thumb over the inside his wrist. “Oh, Steven. I’m sorry.”
Steven sent her a self-deprecating smile. “No need. I’d been a thorough idiot, and the shock of Ronald truly wanting to kill me woke me up. So I conceded the field. I told Ronald I knew he and Laura belonged together. I’d allow her to break the engagement, then I left for Scotland, taking myself out of the way.”
“What did Mrs. Ellis say to that?” Rose tried to imagine the grief-stricken woman she’d met devastated that Steven wanted to break the engagement. No, she’d truly loved her husband. Her sorrow hadn’t been feigned, and she hadn’t looked at Steven with regret or any sort of longing.
Steven gave a short laugh. “She’d wanted Ronald the whole time, it turned out. Used me to make him declare himself. I doubt she thought he’d go as dramatically far as he did. I walked away, spent my Christmas with my family in Scotland, as per usual, and went back to the regiment. Ronald returned too, by himself, but a married man. He’d obtained a special license and done the deed at New Year’s.”
“Mrs. Ellis didn’t accompany him?”
He shook his head. “She didn’t like the idea of living outside England, especially not in such a difficult place as Africa. Which was why I’d never had any fear of taking the game to its logical conclusion. I’d have gotten out of the engagement before it became too entangling. I’d want a wife willing to accompany me.”
Rose secretly thought Mrs. Ellis a fool. If Steven had asked her, Rose would have eagerly followed him wherever he went, never mind heat and hardship.
“What happened to Captain Ellis?” Rose asked.
Steven looked out the window, but there was nothing to see but drops on the glass and mist beyond. Very little sunshine penetrated the gloom of the day, sealing them in a half-light of gray.
Rose rested her head on his shoulder again. “If you don’t want to tell me the rest, I understand.”
Steven drew a long breath. “No, I want you to know the rest of the story. Ronald and I were on a patrol one night a month or so ago, and got cut off from camp. He’d told me that morning that when he took leave this year, it would be his last. He planned to leave the army and settle down with Laura and raise children. He was happy, and I was happy for him. Things had never been the same between us since he tried to shoot me, no matter how many times he’d apologized for it or tried to make up for it. I was glad we were putting the whole sordid business behind us. But it wasn’t meant to be.” Steven turned from the window and looked down at her. “We ran into a pocket of rebels, they had guns, and they shot Ronald, right in front of me.”