Okay. I’m the one having shooting-ass pains, and I’m the one that’s about to push a watermelon out of a hole the size of a grape. What the fuck are they all freaking out about? Why am I the only one who is calm?
Gunner would be calm. I could always count on Gunner.
Jeff came running back, going straight by the kitchen, before skidding to a stop.
“Oh there you are, baby! What are you doing? I sent a text to Gunner. We have to meet him at Emma and Garrett’s house. So, um, let’s go. We have a long drive. Have you had another contraction?”
I smiled at him and shook my head.
“Have you called Dr. Wyatt’s?”
“No.”
He pulled out his cell and looked at it. “Fuck!” He ran over to the land-line and started to dial.
“Oh yeah, hi…she’s um…she’s having contractions.”
Oh dear Lord. I rolled my eyes.
“Who? Oh yeah, Ari...Arianna Johnson…she’s my wife….well shit, you know that. Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to swear, but I kind of have to go now…we have a long drive...twenty minutes…two...yeah...okay. No, I’m not driving...No! Of course, I’m not going to make her drive…okay, yeah …I’m calm… sure. Who? Ari? Yeah, she’s just standing here leaning against the kitchen island smiling at me… I think she might be in shock…she’s too calm if you know what I mean. Okay, right…on our way.”
Fuck a duck. I would have given anything to have recorded all of that. Damn.
***
By the time we got to the hospital, I was having contractions every ten minutes. Ellie went with Jeff to check us in while Gunner stayed with me. A nurse came up and had me sit in a wheelchair.
“Gunner, thank you for staying so calm. with freak number one and freak number two over there, I’m glad I could count on you to stay calm.”
“Sure, Ari. You know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for y’all.”
Just then, Heather and Josh walked in. I knew the moment I saw Heather with the glow on her face, they had made love. Thank God. It’s about damn time. She smiled as she walked up to me, and I saw Josh look over at Gunner and smile. Damn boy looks like he’s walking on cloud nine.
She kissed me and asked if there was anything she could do. I shook my head and gave her a bigger smile.
She leaned down and got up next to my ear.
“It was amazing, Ari.”
“I knew it would be with that boy. Was he big? I bet he was big,” I said as I winked at her.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Gunner say something in Josh’s ear as he patted him on the back.
Heather laughed and shook her head at me. “You’re nuts!”
Jeff came walking up with a nurse, and of course, I would have to have a contraction right then. I tried to hide it. Oh my god, it hurt like hell.
Jeff dropped down to his knees. “Ari, just focus and go to y our happy place.”
“Why the fuck do you keep saying that to me?”
Gunner and Josh started to laugh, and Jeff snapped his head up and gave them a dirty look.
“We learned about it in Lamaze class. Don’t you remember, babe? You were supposed to pick a happy place where you could escape to.”
“The only happy place I’m going to is the place where this baby is out of my stomach, and I’m drinking a damn margarita. That is my happy place, Jeff.”
“Good, babe…just go there.”
I just stared at him.
“Baby, please don’t tell me that again, okay? Because if you do, I’m gonna grab you by the balls until you feel the kind of pain I’m about to feel.”
Jeff started laughing. “God, I love you, Ari.” He leaned forward and kissed me right on the lips…fast and hard.
***
I was finally in a room, and the contractions were coming faster and stronger. Everyone had left the room, except my mother and Jeff.
Dr. Wyatt walked in with that damn smile on his face. “How are you doing, Arianna?”
I wanted to tell him to fuck off. Instead, I smiled. “Good.”
“So, I hear you want an epidural, Arianna?”
“Ah, yeah, that would be really awesome if that could happen…like before the next contraction.”
Too late.
“Coming faster are they? Let’s take a look at how far along you are, Ari.”
Dr. Wyatt looked up at me and smiled.
“I hate to be the one to deliver this news, Ari, but you’re at ten centimeters. The baby is crowning. You’re ready to push.”
“What? Oh no… no, no, no, you have to push him back in! I’m not ready yet.” Panicking, I looked over at Jeff and my mother, who both had goofy-ass smiles plastered on their faces.
“I wish I could, Ari, but it looks like your little guy is ready to make an appearance.”
Then, another contraction hit me. Oh god.
“Jeff, come on over to the right hand side of, Ari. You might want to take her hand.”
Jeff let out a laugh. “I think I’ll pass.”
I snapped my head at him, and he stopped laughing.
“I’m only kidding, baby.” He took my hand and kissed the back of it.
My mother was on the other side of me, stroking my head.
“Are you really sure you couldn’t just push him back in enough for me to get the epidural?”
Dr. Wyatt just laughed and winked at me.
Does he think I’m kidding?
“Alright, Ari, I need you to give me a good strong push when the next contraction starts.”
***
Motherfucker. If I was told to push one more time, I was going to scream.
“One more good push, Ari, and I think we’ll have it.”
I leaned up and pushed as hard as I could.
“Shit,” Jeff muttered.
I realized I was squeezing the hell out of his hand.
Good. I hope it broke.
Then, I felt an instant relief.
“Here, Jeff, time to cut the cord.” Dr. Wyatt said.
Lying back down, I looked up at Jeff and saw he was crying. The moment I saw him cry, I started to cry. The nurse laid a towel on my stomach and then placed our son on me.
He was perfect.
I glanced at my mother, who was crying like a baby. Then, I turned my head back to Jeff. He looked white as a ghost while he watched whatever Dr. Wyatt was doing.
Then he looked at me and our son.
He leaned down and kissed me so sweetly.
“I’m so proud of you, Ari. You did it baby.” He looked at our son and smiled.
The nurse leaned in to scoop up our son, and then she walked with him over to a table.
“Can I go with him?” Jeff asked me.
“Of course!”
I watched as they did what they needed to do to our son. I glanced down at Dr. Wyatt. who looked up at me.
“You had a third-degree tear, Ari, so you’re going to be pretty sore. I’ll have them give you something for the pain, and they’ll explain how to take care of everything before you leave the hospital.”
He stood up, walked over to my side, and smiled.
“Congratulations, Ari, and you as well Susan. You have a beautiful, healthy baby boy.”
After I thanked Dr. Wyatt, I wondered why I wasn’t feeling any pain. One of the nurses came over and helped me to slowly sit up. I started to move.
“Holy shit.” There’s the pain.
“I’ll get your pain medication, Mrs. Johnson.”
I smiled at her. “Thank you, and please call me Ari.”
***
I watched as one of the nurses walked up to Jeff, who was standing next to me now. She placed our son in his father’s arms for the first time. Jeff had tears rolling down his face, and I couldn’t help it, I started crying again.
Then, Jeff cleared his throat and spoke to our son for the first time.
“Luke, I am your father,” Jeff said in his best Darth Vader voice.
My mother and I both busted out laughing.
“So, we agree on his name?” I asked.
“Yeah, baby, we agree on the name. Luke, it is.”
Jeff kissed Luke on the forehead and then turned to hand him to me. The moment Jeff placed him in my arms, something happened. Something inside me changed.
I looked into those beautiful eyes, and it was like he was looking into my soul.
“Hey, little bit. Well, I hope you’re ready for a ride, baby boy.”
He just stared at me, and I stared back at him. He was perfect. He had a perfect nose, perfect lips, and perfect ears. I pulled back the blanket, counted all of his toes, and then looked at every finger. I kissed both of his hands and then looked up at Jeff. He quickly wiped away a tear that was running down his face.
“Are you happy, Ari?”
“I’ve never been so happy in my life. What about you?”
“I feel like I’m on cloud nine, and I’m scared to death to wake up if this is a dream.”
My mother laughed, and we both looked at her.
“Enjoy it no. In a couple days, you’ll wish it was all a dream when he wakes you up every two hours.”
The nurse, who was standing there, started to laugh.
“Oh my gosh, Mom, really?”
My mother moved to stand next to me, looking down at my little man.
“He truly is beautiful, Ari and Jeff.” Shall I have the others come in? You know your father is probably about to die.”
“Sure,” I said with a smile.
My mother left the room, and the only person who came back in with her was my father. He walked up to Jeff and shook his hand before he came to stand next to me. He gave me a kiss on the forehead and looked down at Luke.
“Daddy, meet Luke Drew Johnson.”
“Mon petit-fils belle.”
“Yep, you’re beautiful grandson.”
“Et ma belle fille.”
“I love you, Daddy.”
“Mom, would you like to hold him next?”
“Oui, I would.”
My mother held Luke while my father looked on.
Jeff leaned down and whispered in my ear.
“Are you hungry, baby? Do you want me to go get you something to eat?”
Oh, I could have jumped him and started kissing him that very moment. Just the fact that he asked if I was hungry turned me on.
“I’m so hungry that I’d eat my horse right now if I could.”
***
Gunner, Ellie, Josh, and Heather all came into the room and took turns holding Luke after I made them all wash their hands twice.
Jeff was back with Rudy’s Bar-B-Q. Oh my gosh, it smells so good.
I’d been hinting to everyone for the last hour that I was exhausted. I finally ended up just telling everyone to get the hell out.
“Are y’all driving back to Mason tonight?” I asked.
“Yeah, I think so unless y’all want to crash at my place,” Heather said.
Gunner looked at Ellie and smiled. “I think we’ll just head to a hotel tonight. I’m too tired to drive. Oh, wait. Shit, we took your truck Jeff.”
“No worries, Gun. I got your truck keys from your dad, and I followed Heather here in your truck. I figured you were going to need it,” Josh said.
Gunner walked up to Josh and slapped him on the back.
“Dude, you rock.”
***