Sanine was aware of this. He would fain have reassured her, but was at
a loss how to begin. At first he thought of professing sentiments that
were false, so that she might be pacified; however, he only laughed,
and, rising, went indoors. There, for a while, he lay on his bed,
thinking. It seemed as if men wished to turn the whole world into a
sort of military cloister, with one set of rules for all, framed with a
view to destroy all individuality, or else to make this submit to one
vague, archaic power of some kind. He was even led to reflect upon
Christianity and its fate, but this bored him to such an extent that he
fell asleep, and did not wake until evening had turned to night.
Maria Ivanovna watched him go, and she, too, sighing deeply, became
immersed in thought. Sarudine, so she said to herself, was obviously
paying court to Lida, and she hoped that his intentions were serious.
"Lida's already twenty, and Sarudine seems to be quite a nice sort of
young man. They say he'll get his squadron this year. Of course, he's
heavily in debt--But oh! why did I have that horrid dream? I know it's
absurd, yet somehow I can't get it out of my head!"
This dream was one that she had dreamed on the same day that Sarudine
had first entered the house. She thought that she saw Lida, dressed all
in white, walking in a green meadow bright with flowers.
Maria Ivanovna sank into an easy chair, leaning her head on her hand,
as old women do, and she gazed at the darkening sky. Thoughts gloomy
and tormenting gave no respite, and there was an indefinable something
caused her to feel anxious and afraid.