Sanine broke off a twig, which he bit and then flung away.
"A vile thing!" he went on, "A vile thing! My words amaze you. Yet why?
The question is one that neither you nor I can ever rightly answer.
Crime! What is a crime? If a mother's life is in danger when giving
birth to a child, and that living child, to save its mother, is
destroyed that is not a crime, but an unfortunate necessity! But to
suppress something that does not yet exist, that is called a crime, a
horrible deed. Yes, a horrible deed, even though the mother's life,
and, what is more, her happiness, depends upon it! Why must it be so?
Nobody knows, but everybody loudly maintains that view, crying,
'Bravo!'" Sanine laughed sarcastically. "Oh! you men, you men! Men
create for themselves phantoms, shadows, illusions, and are the first
to suffer by them. But they all exclaim, 'Oh! Man is a masterpiece,
noblest of all; man is the crown, the King of creation;' but a king
that has never yet reigned, a suffering king that quakes at his own
shadow."
For a moment, Sanine paused.
"After all, that is not the main point. You say that it is a vile
thing. I don't know; perhaps it is. If Novikoff were to hear of your
trouble, it would grieve him terribly; in fact, he might shoot himself,
but yet he would love you, just the same. In that case, the blame would
be his. But if he were a really intelligent man, he would not attach
the slightest importance to the fact that you had already (excuse the
expression!) slept with somebody else. Neither your body nor your soul
have suffered thereby. Good Lord! Why, he might marry a widow himself,
for instance! Therefore it is not that which prevents him, but the
confused notions with which his head is filled. And, as regards
yourself, if it were only possible for human beings to love once in
their lives, then, a second attempt to do so would certainly prove
futile and unpleasant. But this is not so. To fall in love, or to be
loved, is just as delightful and desirable. You will get to love
Novikoff, and, if you don't, well, we'll travel together, my
Lidotschka; one can live, can't one, anywhere, after all?"
Lida sighed and strove to overcome her final scruples.
"Perhaps ... everything will come right again," she murmured.
"Novikoff... he's so good and kind ... nice-looking, too, isn't he?
Yes ... no... I don't know what to say."