Heart swells, thumps hard. Beats madly for this woman.
“I miss you too. I’ll see you at six. With a bottle of wine.”
“We’ll grill some steaks I have, sound good?”
“Sounds fantastic,” I tell her as I glance at my watch. Only three more hours. I can contain myself until then.
I head back into Houlihan’s after I disconnect from Gray and find Alex and Garrett both turned in their stools and staring at me with huge grins as I walk up.
“Dude…banging the general manager,” Garrett says with awe. “You are a stud.”
Alex grins and claps me on the back. “You know how to pick ’em.”
“Shut the fuck up,” I mutter at both of them, but secretly I’m pleased. I can hear it in their voices. They’re happy for me.
“So this is all top secret, right?” Alex says.
I sit down on my bar stool and pick up my beer. “Yeah. At least until I can decide what to do at the end of the season. I’m thinking of retiring.”
“What?” Zack exclaims, shooting off his stool to come stand next to me. “You cannot fucking retire, Brick. You are playing the best hockey of your life.”
“But I can’t be with Gray and be on this team. Not publicly, anyway, and I’m tired of fucking hiding it.”
“Wait a minute,” Garrett with his eyebrows drawn in confusion. “Why can’t you be with her and be on this team?”
“It’s a conflict,” I say automatically. “She hired me.”
“But not when you two were fucking, right?” Alex says, and I wince…crass words and all. “I mean, Zack said it didn’t start until December, right?”
“Yeah, but she’s my boss,” I point out.
“But she’s not your coach. She doesn’t decide if you play or not. The most she’s responsible for is renewing your contract when the time comes. But there’s nothing at this moment that’s a conflict,” Garrett points out.
And I have to admit…that’s a damn good point.
As of this moment, Gray has no bearing on my play with the Cold Fury. In fact, I’ve watched her repetitively be very “hands off” when it comes to who has ice time. She leaves that up to the coaching staff, showing she has the confidence to delegate and faith in them to choose right. Another reason she’s a great leader.
“But eventually she will have to become involved in his contract negotiations,” Alex points out resolutely. “People will say that she can’t be fair. It will cause dissension in the front office and through the team.”
“Exactly,” I say glumly. “So, unless I get traded to another team or retire, there’s no public outing of us just yet.”
“And if you get traded,” Zack says, “then you’re dealing with a long-distance relationship.”
I tilt my bottle of beer back, drain it, and set it on the bar. “Christ, this sucks. Love shouldn’t have to be this hard.”
Garrett starts laughing, almost hysterically, and I turn to look at him with one eyebrow cocked. “What’s so funny about that?”
He snickers and then gives me an apologetic grin. “Actually, man, if it’s real love…it’s supposed to be hard, in my opinion. That’s because you feel deeper. Things are more important. The risks are greater and the rewards surpass anything you could hope for. You think shit like that comes easy?”
“True enough,” Alex says. “We’ve each had our obstacles to get by and not one of us would have kept at if we didn’t love our women. Love drives you past the hard shit.”
“I think you guys have taken one too many pucks to the head,” I mutter, but I know they’re right. Shit with Hensley got really hard and what did we both do? We cut and ran. Both of us. She ran to another guy and I ran to a new life down here in Raleigh.
But the thought of cutting Gray loose? Of possibly having to choose her or my career, which may be the toughest decision of my life? I guess I see why it’s so hard.
“What do you love more, man?” Zack asks quietly. “Hockey or Gray? And if it’s hockey, that’s cool, dude. You know, you and Gray have only been together a few months. You’ve had hockey your whole life.”
I don’t even have to think about an answer. It comes to me immediately, and I know deep down in my gut I’m choosing correctly. I know in the marrow of my bones that Gray Brannon is the right choice. I’ve had my time in the spotlight on the ice. I’ve reached all the goals I could possibly want to achieve in this career. But Gray is a once-in-a-lifetime woman. There’s no way I could ever pass her by to chase a few more years in the net.
No fucking way.
“I can see our boy has made his decision,” Garrett says as he holds his beer up in salute.
I blink in surprise at him.
“Dude, it’s all over your sappy face. I expect we’ll be hearing a retirement announcement soon,” he says with confidence.
“Brick,” Zack says, and clasps me by the shoulder. “I don’t want this team to lose you, but I have to say…it’s what I’d do if I was in your skates.”
“Thanks, buddy,” I say, feeling a little choked up. It feels like I’m already saying my goodbyes.
“Let’s have a toast,” Alex as he raises his beer.
“Hold up,” I say waving the bartender over. “I need another beer.”