The house was quiet as I made my downstairs. Earlier when he was giving us a tour, Lucas had told us the alarm code to use in case we wanted to go for an early morning swim in the heated pool or a run through the vineyards. After punching it in, I exited one of the side doors.
With the full moon lighting the way, my shoes crunched along the gravel path. I’d almost reached the vineyards when another fear came ricocheting through me so hard that I actually stumbled. Once I righted myself, my hand rubbed my tightening chest. A scenario played out before me in lurid detail, one that was hauntingly reminiscent of what happened with Walt.
Barrett might love me, but could he ever be faithful to me and only me? With his past history with women, there was no grey area, only cold hard facts—facts I was finding it too hard to ignore or not be devastated by.
He’d never been in a monogamous relationship longer than a couple months. Because of his past indiscretions, he had to be programmed to cheat. To look around for the better offer. The more attractive arm candy. The woman who didn’t want forever.
Not me.
As I stood on the hillside overlooking the vineyard, I sank down onto the ground and desperate cries overtook me. I wanted to be with Barrett more than anything in the world, but not if my heart would be broken beyond repair for trusting the wrong man with it—again.
Fumbling for my phone, I knew there was only one person to call, one person who could help me navigate the hell I found myself in. After the third ring, he picked up.
“It’s Addison. I need your help.”
BARRETT
The next morning when my alarm woke me, it felt like my head had just hit the pillow. Maybe I felt that way considering I didn’t roll off of Addison until late into the night. After eating dinner in bed, we burned all the calories we’d consumed by having a major sexathon.
Fumbling for my phone on the nightstand, I turned the alarm off. Yawning, I rubbed my eyes, and when I turned over to kiss Addison good morning, I found the bed empty. Craning my ear, I didn’t hear the shower on.
Sitting up, I scanned the room for her. I finally found her over by the closet—hunched over, furiously packing her suitcase. “Addison?”
“Yes,” she replied as she continued stuffing things in her bag.
“What are doing packing already? We don’t have to leave until after breakfast.”
When she turned around, my gut clenched like it had been roundhouse kicked. Her bloodshot eyes were swollen from crying. Throwing back the covers, I leapt out of bed. “What’s wrong? Did something happen to your parents or one of your siblings?”
“No, it’s nothing like that.”
“Then what is it?”
An anguished sigh escaped her lips. “I’m so sorry, Barrett.”
Dread entered my chest. “About what?”
“I just can’t do this anymore.”
“But there’s only two weeks left.”
She shook her head at me. “I’m not talking about the campaign. I’m talking about us.”
I furrowed my brows at her. “Us? What’s wrong with us?”
Her eyes pinched shut as if she were in agony. “I can’t be with you.”
My lungs constricted at her words, and I fought to breathe. I sure as hell hadn’t been expecting her to say that. When I recovered enough to find my voice, I countered. “But I love you, and you love me—you said so yourself last night.”
“I know I did.”
“Then what could possibly be the problem?”
“You.”
“Me?” When she nodded, I said, “Okay, I can work with that. Tell me what I did, and I’ll fix it, I swear.”
“It’s not that simple, Barrett.”
“It can be, if you would just give me a chance.” The realization struck me in that moment that I had never asked a woman to give me a chance. It was always the other way around.
She went over to the bed and sat down. “Last night I couldn’t sleep, so I ended up going for a walk. I needed to think about what you said, what we both said. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t ignore the feeling that this was all just an extension of the campaign, that somehow your feelings weren’t genuine.”
What the hell? Has she lost her mind? “Now you’re telling me how I feel?”
“It’s more about what you think you feel. We’ve been in tight quarters together for months. Over time, we’ve grown to care about each other a lot. I think somewhere during all of that, you thought what you were feeling was romantic and physical love, but in actuality, it was just love for another person.”
“That is bullshit!” I stalked over to stand in front of her.
“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Maybe it’s the same thing for me. I just think I love you because of all we’ve been through together.”
“What we have isn’t fake. It’s real—I know because I’ve never felt it for another woman in my entire life.”
Addison’s mouth gaped open and she blinked at me a few times, but then she shook her head like she was shaking herself out of a spell. “You don’t know how much I want to believe that.”
“Then believe it. Stay with me, and I’ll make you see.”
“I can’t.”
“Why are you being so fucking stubborn?” I growled.
“It’s not just whether or not what we have is real. In the end, I realized that regardless of how I felt, I couldn’t ignore your past.”