Ah, who the hell was he kidding? He hadn’t been smart enough to pick her. She’d picked him. He’d gotten lucky is all. She’d picked him, and then she’d added color to the black and white that was his world. She’d added dimension. She’d added . . . life.
And now that life didn’t work without her in it.
“I screwed things up,” he admitted.
Adam shrugged. “Fix ’em.”
“It’s not that easy.”
Adam slid him a glance. “No shit.”
It took him another few days, but Grif figured out what he had to do.
Grovel.
He knocked on Kate’s door armed with what he hoped was an irresistible bribe. Ice cream. He’d added a card to the bag and hoped for the best.
Kate opened the door looking a little harried in faded jeans, a long-sleeved T-shirt that he was pretty sure was his, and bare feet. She stared at him.
“Hey,” he said, and thrust out the bag.
She looked into it.
“It’s double fudge,” he said.
She pulled out the card. It had a heart on the front but was blank on the inside because he’d forgotten to sign it. She looked up at him.
He grimaced. “I meant to write on that.”
This sparked some interest. “What were you going to write?” she asked.
Good question. He tried to see past her, but she was blocking his way in. “Maybe we can do this inside.”
“Do what?”
“Talk.”
She gave him a bad moment when she hesitated, but she did eventually step aside and gesture him in. “How’s your dad?” she asked.
“Fine.” He nodded. Christ, he was an idiot. “He’s going to be okay.”
“And you and your dad together?”
He blew out a breath. “We’re going to be okay, too.” He paused, hesitated really, which he rarely did, but he was feeling way out of his league. “I’m sorry for pushing you away, Kate. Everything I said about how I feel about you is true,” he said.
She nodded, and then . . . turned and walked off.
After a beat of hesitation, he followed her to her room. She was sitting on her bed looking down at her tightly clasped hands. “Even the pain-in-the-ass part?” she asked.
He let out a small smile. “Maybe especially that part.” He crouched in front of her and put his hands on her thighs. “Kate.”
She looked at him.
“I love you, Kate.”
Her eyes filled, but no tears fell.
“And I didn’t just get carried away in the moment,” he said. “I was with you because I wanted to be. I was wrong and—” He paused as she pushed him away and continued on with her packing as if he hadn’t spoken. Packing everything including her snow boots. Huh. He stared at her suitcase. “Does it snow in San Diego?”
She parlayed this with a question of her own. “You still taking that job in DC?”
“Yes.”
She fell quiet. He was so used to her chattering, the silence seemed wrong.
She zipped the huge suitcase and nodded. “You’ll be happier there.”
“Kate—”
“I don’t think there’s anything left to say. We were a thing, a hot one, but it burned out.”
He actually looked down at himself to see if he was bleeding.
“It’s over,” she said quietly.
“It’ll never be over,” he said. “A part of us will always care no matter where we are or what we’re doing.”
She turned away at that, neither denying nor confirming his words. “Good-bye, Griffin,” she said instead, politely moving back to her front door and holding it open for him.
Grif drove home. He wasn’t sure how long he sat in his truck like a shell-shocked idiot, thinking so hard his windows fogged.
He knew he’d let Kate down, but damn. It couldn’t be too late. He could still become the man she thought him, no matter whose blood flowed through his veins. Pulling out his phone, he punched in a number. When Joe answered, Grif didn’t hesitate. “About the job.”
* * *
One week later, Kate entered her tiny studio flat after her first day of school, dropped her books, kicked off her shoes, and then went perfectly still.
There was a man sitting on the small love seat.
Griffin.He rose and immediately dwarfed the living room. He pulled her heavy bag from her shoulder and let it fall. Then he tugged off her sunglasses. He didn’t smile at her gaping shock. He just looked at her, very serious.
“What are you doing here?” she whispered.
“Looking at you. You’re a sight for sore eyes, Kate.”
Her heart was pounding so loudly she barely heard herself say, “How long are you going to look at me?”
He smiled then, as if she were being funny. “Long as you’ll let me,” he said.
“And then?”
“And then I’m hoping you’ll let me put my hands on you.”
Oh God, it was too much, and she turned from him to take a badly needed moment. But now she was facing the small mirror over her desk, and she couldn’t handle looking at her reflection, seeing Griffin behind her. Gripping the desk for desperately needed balance, she bowed her head.
He came up behind her. Circling an arm around her waist, he kissed her just beneath her ear. The feel of him, the scent of him, everything about his nearness made her weak in the knees. Her eyes drifted shut, and she very nearly tilted her head to give him better access, but she controlled herself. Still, there was no holding in her moan. She’d missed him so much, too much. “Griffin.”
“Missed you, Kate,” he murmured.
For a moment she closed her eyes, allowing herself to savor the sensation of his embrace, but she couldn’t let him do this to her, refused to let him destroy her again. Lifting her head, she met his gaze in the mirror. “Why aren’t you in DC?”
“Decided against the bitch of a commute,” he said lightly.
She wasn’t amused. “I don’t understand.” And she wanted to understand. She needed to understand.
“I didn’t take the job,” he said. “I don’t care about it. You’re the only thing I care about, Kate.” He smiled a bit wryly. “I’d move to the moon to be with you. Or, as it turns out, San Diego.”
They were surrounded by the complications of her new life, and yet he still managed to make it all sound so simple. She closed her eyes again, but Griffin cupped her face, waiting her out.
“You caught me off guard,” he said when she opened them again. “Knocked my sorry ass for a loop the way you reeled me in.”
“I reeled you in?”
He laughed. “In the best way. You embraced me, compromised me . . . loved me.”
Kate couldn’t speak. She could scarcely breathe. “I also seduced you.”
“My favorite part,” he said. “When I got hurt, I went to Sunshine because it was ‘home,’ but I was wrong. Home is wherever you are, Kate.”
Her heart squeezed tight, so damn tight that she couldn’t talk, and Griffin studied her for a long beat. “If you’re not ready for this,” he said quietly, braced for something. “Just tell me.”
Rejection. He was putting on a good show, but he wasn’t sure about his reception here in her world. “There’s no ranch here to run,” she said. “What will you do?”
He shrugged. “I like the beach. Always did think I’d make a great lifeguard.”
She stared at him. He remained utterly still for her inspection, his eyes unwavering and intense, and . . . vulnerable.
No, he was nowhere near as laid-back as he wanted her to believe. In fact, she was pretty sure he wasn’t breathing, waiting on a response from her. “You’d move here for me,” she said cautiously, needing this spelled out.
He gestured to a pack on the floor near the love seat. “Already did.”
“Just for me,” she murmured, marveling at the truth of it. Turning to face him, she sighed in pleasure as his warm, strong arms closed tightly around her. “For my dream . . . Oh, Griffin.”
“Is that ‘oh, Griffin, how romantic’ or ‘oh, Griffin, you’re an idiot’?”
“Both, but mostly the first.”
He chuckled, the sound raw with relief as he rubbed his jaw against hers. Then he buried his face in her hair, letting out a long, ragged breath that seemed to come from the very bottom of his heart and soul. “About your dream,” he said. “I was hoping it might include me.”
She slid her fingers into his silky hair and lifted his head so she could see his face. “It always has.”
He stared into her eyes as the tension seemed to drain from him. “Always,” he breathed. “I like the sound of that word from you.” He stroked a hand down her back and then up again, fingers spread wide as if he needed to touch as much of her as possible.
“Griffin,” she said softly, having the exact same need. “Tell me you love me now.”
“I love you now,” he said, never taking his gaze from hers, giving her a promise, a vow. Giving her everything she’d ever wanted. “I love you always.”
Epilogue
One Year Later
Kate came back to Sunshine with a lot less fanfare than she’d left. She stood at the top of the dam, a light wind blowing her hair back from her face as she stared down at the lake far below.
A big, warm, callused palm slid into hers. With a smile she entwined her fingers with Griffin’s. They’d just spent the past few days driving back from San Diego. Wanting one last moment to themselves before they met up with both of their families waiting for them at the ranch, they’d stopped here at Kate’s place.
“You okay?” he asked.
She drew in a deep breath and smiled up into his tanned face. It had been the best year of her life. “I don’t remember ever being better.”
He gave her a smile. “It was a good year,” he said. “But I’m thinking it’s time to change things up a bit.”
“We’re moving back to Sunshine,” she said. “I’ve got my job at the school, and you were just hired on at the local ATF office. How much more can we change things up?”
He stroked the hair from her face. “Well, for starters, you could be my wife.”
She went utterly still. “Are you asking me to marry you?”
“Too soon?” he asked.
The lump got bigger, and her heart swelled up against her ribcage. “No,” she said, pulling his mouth to hers. “It’s perfect.”