Laura had finally convinced her to come stay with them. At least with Laura there was conversation and laughter and she had people to cook for. Cooking was therapy to her, and being alone and cooking for herself wasn’t working. Here with Laura she had someone to talk to about the mess that her life had turned into. She didn’t know what she would have done without Laura over the past week.
Now she didn’t have a job and she didn’t know what she was going to do about that, because there was no way she was going back to Ninety-Two. Not after all the awful things Flynn had accused her of.
“Amelia.”
She stilled at the sound of Flynn’s voice, certain she’d imagined it. He’d been in her head a lot the past several days.
She turned to see Laura standing next to him.
“Don’t be mad,” Laura said. “I thought the two of you should talk.”
All the hurt came rushing back, all the things he’d accused her of.
She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk to him.”
She turned the stove off and walked away, needing to get away from Flynn before he said something else to crush her heart.
She walked out onto the back porch and zipped up her hoodie, wrapping her arms around herself and fighting back the tears that sprang forward just seeing him again.
The back door opened and she knew it was him. Laura was a peacemaker and she would want her to have closure, if nothing else.
Screw closure. Closure was a stupid concept someone who’d never had their heart ripped out of their chest had come up with. She didn’t need closure. She was pissed, and righteous anger felt a whole lot better than closure.
“Go away, Flynn.”
“I have to talk to you.”
She blinked away the tears and turned to him. “About what? About how you accused me of using you to become a famous chef?”
He looked pained. Good. She hoped he developed an ulcer over it.
“Yes. I was wrong.”
“No shit.” She went and sat on one of the cushioned love seats out there. It was cool outside, so she grabbed a blanket and laid it over her legs.
Flynn grabbed one of the folding chairs and placed it across from her, then straddled it so he faced her. “I freaked out when I overheard you talking to Paul and Blaine. When they offered you the job, I expected you to turn them down.”
“I did turn them down.”
“No, you asked them into Ken’s office for privacy.”
“Yes, so I could turn them down while still being professional and polite. I was doing that for you. For the restaurant.”
“At the time I didn’t know that. All I saw was you looking excited and smiling at them and . . . it doesn’t matter what I thought. I was totally off base and I should have known you better.”
She nodded. “Exactly. You should know me. You should have trusted me. God, Flynn, the things you said to me really hurt. All those women I watched you with before we got together. I knew what they were about. They were about using you to advance themselves. And you thought I’d do the same thing to you? It’s like you never knew me at all.”
He looked down at his feet, then back up at her. “I know. I guess I got burned one too many times and trust has been a big issue for me.”
“So you lumped me in with them the first chance you got?”
“I did, and I’m sorry.” He reached for her but she shook her head and stood up.
“No. I’ve been through this before with a man who had no faith in me. I can’t do it again. I won’t do it again. You need to leave.”
“Amelia.”
She had turned away, refusing to look at him. Because if she did, she might weaken and fall into his arms, begging him to hold her. To love her. Because God, despite everything, she still loved him.
“Go away, Flynn. Leave me alone.”
“I’m not giving up on you. On us. I need you. I love you, Amelia.”
She couldn’t hold back the tears and they fell down her cheeks like a river.
This was the first time he’d told her he loved her. Now, when her heart was torn in two.
She swiped at the tears, needing so badly to feel the touch of his hand, to feel the strength of his arms around her. But she couldn’t trust him anymore. And without trust, they wouldn’t work.
“Please just leave.” She could barely get the words out.
“I’ll find a way to make this right.”
She heard him walk away and after the porch door closed, she fell onto the lounge, choking out a sob. She shoved her fist against her mouth, hating that she was crying—again. But this sense of loss went deep, so deep that even her bones ached from it.
When the porch door opened again, it was Laura who came and sat down in the love seat with her, put her arms around her and held her while she cried.
THIRTY-THREE
The first note arrived the day after Flynn had showed up at Laura’s house. Amelia had decided it was time to go home and face her life, though Laura had told her she was welcome to stay with her and Jon as long as she needed to.
But she was stronger than her emotions, and she needed to move on. She needed to find a new job and learn to live in her silent, empty house with her sadness.
The envelope had Flynn’s handwriting on it and she’d picked it up with her mail.
She hesitated, then opened it.
I love the way you smile. It always hits me right in my heart, because it’s so genuine.
I miss your smile, Amelia. I love you.