I looked back up at her and had to gulp down the clog of emotion that rose in my throat. I couldn’t answer her, so I just gave her fingers a little squeeze to let her know the sentiment was welcome. My brother was one hell of a lucky guy to have this amazing girl be so gone for him. I thought I was off the hook when I pulled out my wallet to pay for the bill but it was easy to forget that Shaw was smart as a whip and rarely forgot anything.
“So what did you mean before when you said Cora was full of surprises? I didn’t think you guys really knew each other that well.”
I wanted to groan. “Nothing. I didn’t mean anything by it. She’s cute and says whatever she wants, she’s just surprising is all.”
She arched an eyebrow. “You know we’re really close, right? And anything she doesn’t tell me, Ayden will.”
Damn it, I forgot about the way girls were all so chatty and in each other’s business all the time.
“I got plowed last night.”
“Obviously.” Her dry tone surprised a laugh out of me.
“I gave the bartender my phone to call Rule to come get me but he called the shop and Cora answered. Since he was busy with the water heater and Nash was AWOL, she came and got me. She made sure I didn’t kill myself or anyone else. I just was surprised she cared enough to do it because I don’t think I’m her favorite person.”
Shaw regarded me solemnly for a minute. I had to fight hard not to squirm like a guilty little kid.
“There’s more to her than meets the eye.”
Hell yeah, there was but I wasn’t going to say anything about it.
“She was engaged a while back. The guy broke her heart and now she has all these delusions about meeting some picture-perfect guy and living happily ever after. She meddles in all our lives, doles out advice, and sticks her nose where it doesn’t belong time and time again, but won’t listen to any of us when we tell her she’s reaching for something that doesn’t exist. It just sucks because more often than not she’s right and we should have listened to her all along, so it’s no wonder she blows us off. Honestly I think she’s terrified of letting anyone close enough to break her heart again.”
I shrugged and started to slide out of the booth. “Nothing wrong with reaching for the stars.”
“There is when what’s available is only here in the ground level. I love Rule with everything I have, but he is far from perfect. Relationships are not tailor-made and people are flawed. You have to work around that and love the other person anyway. Our flaws are what make us unique, and while Rule might not be perfect, he is absolutely perfect for me.”
I wrapped an arm around her neck and gave her a quick hug that had her squealing. Something warm and familiar settled in my chest when I felt her wrap her arms around me in a hug. I missed this and it was my own stupid fault.
“I missed you, little girl.”
I felt her exhale against my chest and her hug tighten just a fraction. “I missed you, too, Rome. I’m so glad you’re back.”
I wasn’t a hundred percent back, but for some reason my eyes felt more open, and I had a clearer view of what I had been missing lately. Shaw was right. I had always been a pretty steady guy, a reliable son, a steadfast older brother. I was still all those things but now I was other things that weren’t so pretty, were harder parts to accept. However, the people in my life that loved me would always love me even if they had to do it in a different way now, and that made me a lucky guy. I needed to stop taking things like that for granted and, just like Cora said, stop feeling guilty for being one of the lucky ones.
CHAPTER 7
Cora
It had been a week since I let my inner slut out. A solid week that I hadn’t thought of Jimmy and the upcoming wedding one single time, let alone done any Facebook stalking. It had also been a week that I walked on eggshells waiting for the Terrible Trio to lay into me, to grill me about the overnight visit with big brother, but it never came. Apparently the idea that Rome and I could be anything but mortal enemies was laughable, and aside from the third degree I had to suffer from Ayden and some curious looks from Shaw, it wasn’t a big deal at all. Now, had they known that I let it go from babysitting a blacked-out drunk to something else entirely, that might have been a different story. It sucked because I couldn’t get the something else entirely out of my mind no matter what I did.
Rome had stopped at the shop once to drop off Nash’s cell when he forgot it at home and another time to ask Rule if he would come and help strip the floors at that dive bar he seemed to be spending all his time at. On both occasions he had been achingly polite and totally normal. There was no hint of anything inappropriate or even flirtatious. He acted like we had never been n*ked together, let alone screwed each other’s brains out, and it irked me to no end. Especially since every time I saw him I was reminded just how out-of-this-world hot he was. It wasn’t fair. Granted I had been the one to deny that the act meant anything other than scratching an itch, but it rubbed me the wrong way that he seemed so blasé and unaffected by it. I responded by being even more flippant and sarcastic than normal. It didn’t seem to bother him at all.
I was at Cerberus after a particularly long day at the shop having drinks with everyone and waiting for Jet’s band to play. It was a typical Saturday night except for the fact that instead of having fun with my friends, I was busy trying not to watch Rome and the chick in leather pants who was practically dry-humping him at the table. I knew it shouldn’t bother me, we weren’t even friends really, but it was taking every ounce of restraint I possessed, which wasn’t a lot to begin with, not only to keep from screaming at him, but to keep from murdering the chick with her own tacky necklace. To Rome’s credit, he didn’t look like he was interested in what the girl was throwing at him, but he sure as hell wasn’t pushing her away either. I wanted to dump the pitcher of beer in front of me over both of them.
“What’s up, cranky pants?”
Rowdy’s amused voice broke through my dark musings and I tore my gaze away from Rome to look at him. Jet had dragged Ayden off backstage with him saying something about how she needed to see the bathroom here as well; Shaw and Rule were deep in conversation with Nash about Phil, nobody had seen or heard from the shop owner in over a week and everyone was concerned. Rome was busy with Catwoman, so that left me and Rowdy alone at the table. There were way worse drinking partners to have, but at the moment I didn’t need those perceptive ocean-blue eyes picking me apart.
“I’m not cranky, just tired. It was a long day.”
He lifted a blond eyebrow and picked up his pint of Coors Light. “You’ve been off all week. Quiet. That’s not normal.”
I just shrugged and hoped silence would make him drop it, but then the girl with Rome threw back her head and let out a loud laugh that had me biting down on my tongue to avoid creating a scene.
“There is no way he said anything that funny. I don’t even think he has a sense of humor.” I was aware I sounded snarky and mean but I couldn’t seem to help it.
Rowdy stretched one of his arms out along the back of my chair and wrapped his fingers around the back of my neck. I sighed a little when he started to rub some of the tension out of the muscles.
“You wanna tell me what’s really going on or do you just want me to jump to my own conclusion, which is probably right anyway?”
I scowled at him and looked back at Rome and the leather-clad bitch. I couldn’t hold back the tiny snarl that formed when I saw her tuck her fingers under the edge of the leather belt he had on.
“It’s possible, I mean highly likely, that I think big brother Archer is a total babe.”
Rowdy laughed. “No kidding.”
I elbowed him in the side and rolled my eyes. “It’s also entirely possible that said babeness is hard to resist, and I may or may not have let his sleepover get out of hand.”
The gentle rubbing stopped and he let out a low whistle. I looked up at him and frowned when I saw that he was frowning right back at me.
“What?”
“That’s just surprising and kind of messed up.”
“Why? You guys do it all the time.”
“Not with anyone the rest of us are related to. We like to get away clean.”
I elbowed him in the ribs again. “Pig.”
“If it was just a onetime thing then what’s with the death glare you’re giving the brunette that’s all up on him?”
I heaved a deep sigh. “I don’t know.” And I really didn’t. Rome was not on my agenda, he was not what I was looking for, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him and all his imperfections. That wasn’t good. I put my chin on my hand and looked at Rowdy.
“Don’t you get lonely? Rule’s with Shaw, Jet went and got married, for Christ’s sake. Don’t you look around and wonder when it’s your turn? I know you well enough to know that the endless girls, the one-night stands, are what they are. You could do without, but if the right one came along you would be all over her.”
He laughed without any humor and leaned back in his chair. When the waitress came by he ordered us a round of Jäger shots.
“The right one came along forever ago, only I wasn’t her right one, so now it is what it is and I’m just killing time.”
I blinked at him in surprise. He never really talked about his past much. I knew he grew up in the system in Texas, that he used to play football, and that he had left the game and college unexpectedly and decided to tattoo instead, but that was really it.
“So you don’t think there’s anyone else after that? You’re just going to spend the rest of your life going girl to girl and being alone?”
It made me think of Jimmy, of the life I thought I was supposed to have by now. I had invested everything in him, had thought he was my everything, and now I wasn’t so sure. Nothing had flipped me upside down the way the pain and passion that burned in Rome’s bright blue eyes had. I wasn’t a person affected by a lot, but he affected me, no doubt about it. He was about as steady and secure as a tropical storm, though, and that made him more than a little dangerous to my sense of what was right for me.
“For now it’s all about a good time and eventually someone will come along and I’ll be her one, and if I’m lucky I’ll like her well enough that that’ll be enough to make it work. I don’t think that idiot you left behind in New York was ever your one and only, Tink. I think you were young and tired of being bounced around by your dad, so you latched on to the first steady thing you could find. You thought Jimmy was going to be your family, your home, and when that didn’t happen you ended up lost and scared. I think you’ll know it when your one comes along, because perfect or not, he’s going to knock you sideways and maybe for once shut you up and you won’t have time to be scared anymore.”
I didn’t respond when his gaze flicked to where Rome was standing. Crap. I tossed back the shot and made a face at him.
“You suck.”
“Only when asked nicely.” We shared a laugh and I looked up in surprise when a shadow fell over the edge of the table. I hated that I had to crank my neck back to look up at Rome. The scar on his forehead stood out in stark relief in the dim light of the bar. A muscle was twitching in his cheek and his normally iridescent eyes seemed kind of cloudy and dark.
“Can you tell Rule and Shaw I’ve had enough? I’m gonna bounce.” He sounded gruff and looked irritated at something. His leather limpet was nowhere to be seen.
“Enmity hasn’t even played yet.” Why I told him that I had no idea. Obviously the band hadn’t gone on stage yet. I was just being snippy and argumentative.
He narrowed his eyes at me and opened his mouth then shut it again like he had to rethink what he was going to say. He gave his head a tiny little shake like he was marshaling his thoughts.