I shake my head. Poor Riff.
“Riff immediately hated me—despised me for taking her away from him. We’ve fought so many goddamn times over her, I’ve lost count. I try to explain to him that I don’t love her, but he won’t listen. That only makes things worse. He’ll never forgive me.”
“Have you seen her since she left?”
He shakes his head. “No, and I never planned to either, not until a month ago when she called Riff to tell him she’s pregnant with my baby. I have a hard time wrapping my head around it, you know. Even wasted, I always use a condom when I sleep with someone. I don’t know how this happened to me.”
I look into his eyes. “You didn’t use a condom with me.”
Noel’s gaze flick to mine. “That’s because you’re you, Lane. I love you. You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved and I had to fucking have you. I had to be near you—feel you completely. I’ve missed you so much.”
I blink out a couple more tears. “If you haven’t seen her, why do people call her your girlfriend?”
He sighs and then pinches his nose between his thumb and forefinger again. “I called Sophie after I found out she was pregnant. She told me she’s almost positive it’s mine and I felt sick. I always thought when I start a family it will be with the love of my life. Someone just like you.” My stomach knots and my legs feel week. I grip the door handle for support. “The thought of a little kid running around out there that belongs to me makes me want to step up to the plate. I don’t want the kid to hate me. If Sophie’s baby is mine, I want to be there for it.”
Noel will make a great father and I guess I didn’t give him enough credit. He’s not as immature as I thought.
I shake my head. “That still doesn’t explain the whole girlfriend thing.”
He shrugs. “Sophie said the only way she’ll let me be a part of the whole process is if she can claim we’re together—something about not wanting to look like a slut and all that.”
“But you’re not even sure the baby belongs to you.”
“I know, but if it is, I want to be a better father than mine is to me. I want to be in its life. I won’t turn my back on it. If Sophie wants to call herself my girlfriend so I can, that’s fine, but I don’t have to love her and it doesn’t have to be true.”
“Do you know how absurd that sounds?”
Noel nods and his sets gaze on me. “I would’ve never agreed to it, Lane, if I knew that we were going to happen. You have to believe me.”
Mistakes can happen. I know this. I know Noel isn’t a virginal type of guy. Hell the whole world knows he has a massive sexual history, but the world also doesn’t get to see this sweet side of him—the side that will do anything for anyone. My Noel.
“Can’t you just wait and get paternity tests once the baby’s born then take her to court for visitation? I’m pretty sure you can afford an attorney.
“I could do that, but then I’d miss all the ultrasounds and the birth. I want to be apart of everything, if that’s my kid.”
“If the baby isn’t yours, then that means it’s…”
He rubs his face. “Not Riff’s. He can’t have kids. He got into some kind of accident when he was younger or something.”
“But, it’s possible, right? She was with him before you.”
The thought of Riff and Noel sharing the same girl makes me shudder.
“I don’t think so.”
“How does Riff feel about all this?”
Noel shrugs. “He won’t talk to me about it. He feels betrayed and won’t speak to me. Whenever I try to talk to him about it, things get…ugly, and that’s not good for the band.”
He’s right. This whole situation sucks, especially for the band. I’ve seen the tension between the two, in action myself. I knew all that male territory marking was about more than just me.
Noel drops my hand and then runs his fingers through his hair. His hands stay behind his head while he paces near the foot of the bed. I’ve never seen him like this before—torn between wanting me and needing to take responsibility for a fucked up mess.
I can’t watch him fall apart like this. It’s not him. “Would you stop that? You’re making me nervous.”
He stops and sighs, before sitting on the edge of the bed. Both of his shoulders slump as his blue jeans strain against the length of his long, muscular legs. My eyes roam over his body. His chest heaves under his red t-shirt as he rests his elbows on his knees and stares at the ground.
I can’t help but think this is one of the last times I’ll be locked alone in a room with Noel Falcon. This somehow feels like our goodbye. The accusation of always leaving because I’m second to him plays out, yet again. There’s no way I can stay with him while he’s caught up in all this baby-mama drama.
A few quick steps and I find myself next to him. My body seems to have a mind of its own when it comes to Noel. The pull to him is crazy. I sit down next to him on the bed. Our hips and legs touch and I lift my hand hesitantly to rub his back. As much as I wish this wasn’t happening, he’s still one of my oldest friends and he’s hurting.
He sighs and reaches over and grabs my other hand, bringing my wrist to his lips and kissing the delicate skin over my pulse point. Need zings through me and I squeeze my thighs tightly.
“Thank you,” he whispers against my skin. “Thank you for staying with me.”