“It smells good in here! Smells like Italian,” he tried to change the subject but his eyes caught Blake’s. His brother cocked his head questioningly.
Trevor shook his head, trying to tell him that he was fine.
Dinner went well. His mom was a much better cook than Trevor was. The three of them sat at the table together and talked about Rock Solid, summer plans, Jason, and whatever safe topics they could think to talk about. Trevor felt guilty that they didn’t do this more often. It was a good night. He knew it wouldn’t last, though. They’d just gotten into Blake’s truck when his brother said, “She’s been worried. With the injury and you having time off.”
Idle hands are the devil’s play thing...
“I’m fine. You know I’m fine. You’d know if I wasn’t. Did you tell her?”
“I did,” he confirmed. “She needs to hear it more often from you, though. I know it’s a hassle sometimes. I know she’s overprotective, but it’s just because she loves you. You need to call her and go see her more often.”
Oh, fuck. Here they went again. “Yes, Dad.”
“Screw you, Trev. I’m not trying to be a dick. I’m just trying to be supportive. She’s our mom. If you can make time to hang out with Simon all the time, then you can see her now and again.”
Trevor turned his brother’s way in the darkened truck. “What the fuck is your problem with him?”
At first he didn’t think Blake was going to respond, but then he jerked over to the side of the road and hit the interior light. “My problem with him? Nothing. I don’t even know the guy.”
Trevor bit his bottom lip and ran a hand through his hair. Rock Solid, mom, meetings, sobriety... “So that means your problem is with me? I get it. I do. But if you didn’t want to do this, if you weren’t sure about getting a place with me or opening the business with me, you should have said so earlier. I know I’ve given you every reason not to trust me, but—”
“It’s not that...”
Yeah, right.
“Okay, it’s not only that, it’s just...do you think it’s a good idea? Seeing this guy? I mean, is it the best time to get involved? Is it smart to get involved with someone who we’re going to be under contract with for the next several months?”
So that’s what this was about. Trevor tried to ignore the fact that there had been some kind of...awkwardness between him and Simon the last time they’d seen each other. It was probably all from Trevor’s side, and he could curb that. He could. “He’s straight, man. He went to visit his ex-wife this weekend. I’m not going to fuck the guy and make us lose this contract. I promise you, I’m not going to screw this up.” It sucked that Blake had every right to fear that Trevor would make a mess of things.
“Then why? Hell, you’re with the guy every day.”
He shrugged. This was the tricky part. “We’re friends. It works, hanging out with him.”
“It never used to matter that I’m your brother. I’ve always been your friend, too. Jason, JT and Andrea. We’re all your friends.”
Friends. They were Blake’s friends, who were cool with Trevor because of Blake. Trevor leaned forward with his elbows on the dashboard and his head in his hands. “Do you remember that time I was supposed to go help Bob move?” He was their mom’s boyfriend for a short time. It was the only time she dated. They’d broken up because of Trevor. “But I went out and got really fucked up the night before. I brought some guys with me to help, and one of them ended up stealing a bunch of shit from him, and I didn’t notice. I was too fucked up to get it, and it broke Mom’s heart. Bob told her she was too soft on me and she broke it off with him. You stuck up for me even though you knew it was my screw up. I brought them around, people I didn’t know and only got high with, and they robbed the man.”
Blake’s voice cracked when he said, “Yeah. I remember.”
“There are a hundred stories like that. You know them, and Mom knows them. Jason, JT, Andrea, they all know them. Half the people in Rockford Falls knows them. Simon doesn’t. He’s the only person who doesn’t have those memories of me. He’s the only one who doesn’t have judgment in his eyes, no matter how right it would be. It feels good to be around someone who only sees this Trevor when they look at me, and not the one I’m trying my hardest not to be.”
He didn’t look at his brother. Couldn’t. His chest hurt too much.