I giggle like a giddy kid at Christmas when Riff grabs me up in a hug. “Riff!”
Lane rolls her eyes at us. “On that note, I’m out of here.”
Riff sets me on my feet. “What was all that about?”
I shrug. “Lanie has the tendency to push good things away in her life. Sometimes she needs a little help seeing things clearly, is all.”
He pulls his lips into a tight line. “Maybe not everyone feels like they deserve good things to happen to them.”
“Not Lanie. She’s a good person. She feels like Noel will crush her heart. She still loves him. I can tell.”
He sighs. “Maybe it’s best you not push them together.”
I tilt my head. “Why? They obviously still love each other. What do you know?”
Riff opens his mouth, but quickly closes it, clearly deciding not to spill any details.
“Come on. What’s going on?”
He shakes his head. “Forget it. It’s not my place to say. All I can tell you is us rocker types aren’t meant to be trusted.”
That comment throws me off guard. “You can’t all be bad.”
“Yeah we can, and I’m probably the worst.”
A lump builds in my throat. “Why would you say that to me, Riff?”
“I’m the guy women have fun with, not the one they settle down with. I’m no good for you, Kitten. Trust me. I’m a one man heart-wrecking crew,” he says.
Any doubts that I had in my mind that we could ever be more than this weekend flies from my mind. It can’t be spelled out for me any clearer. So, I need to get my game face back on and look at this for what it is—a purely physical fling.
RIFF
I feel like a douche bag of epic proportions the moment I basically tell Kitten I’m using her only for sex. She doesn’t deserve that from me, but for now it’s the best I can give her. She doesn’t need to get her hopes up that we can be more, because we can’t. I fuck things up too much. It’s only a matter of time before I do something stupid and she ends up hating my ass.
This whole situation is fucking up my head. More than anything I wish I was a good guy, someone worthy of a girl like Kitten. The only thing I can hope for is that one day she’ll find a man that can give her everything she deserves, like monogamy and children. I can’t give her either one of those things.
I shake my head as I finish warming up, trying to forget my screwed up life. Music and sex are the only two things I’ve found that help me do that.
My fingers glide over the strings and I hit a sour note.
Trip slaps me on the back. “What’s with you man? Couldn’t get it up last night?”
“Fuck you, dude,” I snap.
He holds his hands up in surrender. “Easy, I was joking. Chill the fuck out.”
The tension leaves my shoulders. Trip’s been my best friend a long time, and I know he didn’t mean anything by it. “Sorry, bro. I’m a little edgy.”
Trip rolls his eyes. “Not this Sophie shit again? I thought that hot, little redheaded friend of Lanie’s was pulling you out of that slump.”
“This has nothing to do with Sophie. Noel can have her sorry ass. I hope those two assholes are happy together. I hate that he’s stringing Lanie along like this. She seems like a nice girl.”
Trip raises his eyebrow so high it touches the bandanna he has tied around his head. “Are you catching feelings for the redhead?”
“What!? No. You know me better than that.” Damn it. How the fuck would he figure that shit out? Am I catching feelings? Is that why I feel so crazy?
“If you say so, brother. What am I supposed to think? You never spend an entire night holed up in a hotel room with a chick. The way you were lookin’ at her on the bus the other day, it was like you’d been shot by that little fucker in diapers with wings and arrows like in the cartoons. And now you’re concerned about Lanie’s feelings?”
I laugh. “Did you really just talk about Cupid like he’s real?”
“Whatever. Make fun of me all you want. All I know is between you and Noel I don’t know which one of you is chasing the tail harder.”
I shake my head. “Aubrey’s here to have a good time for the weekend. No one’s catching feelings.”
Trip smirks. “Yeah. You keep telling yourself that.”
That smart-ass I-know-everything look he’s got on his face isn’t helping the situation. “A girl like her would never really be into a guy like me.”
“You’re never going to know until you try. It’s okay to have feelings for someone, Riff.”
“Not for me. She can do so much better than me. I know that. Why set myself up for a tragic ending.”
Trip frowns. “I know this is hard to hear, but not every situation is going to end up like—”
I jump up from the amp I’m sitting on. “Don’t even fucking say it.”
“All I’m sayin’ is—”
I set my guitar down and cut him off. “Quit trying to convince me I’m not poison. I’ll ruin her, like I do everything else.”
Trip opens his mouth to start on me again, but I stalk away before he has a chance. He’s been trying to save my worthless ass for years and I wish he would stop and let me be miserable like I deserve. He calls my name a couple times, but I don’t dare look back.
I make my way over to catering and grab a cold beer from the cooler. I twist off the lid and take a long pull. Trip has a way of getting under my skin like no one else.