He had a lot to think about.
Jessie went into the bathroom, shut the door, and turned on the shower. He made a call to Grange, gave him the time and location for the arms delivery, and discussed options. Grange said he’d have the Feds call him directly to arrange a liaison point for tomorrow, and then they could plan from there.
After he hung up he stared at the bathroom door. He heard the water running, thought about Jessie na**d, and had a driving urge to join her, to say the hell with his determination to keep things impersonal between them when what he really wanted was to get really, really personal.
But after their last time together it would be such a bad idea. She’d been distant, emotionally removed from the encounter—hurt. He didn’t want to keep leading her on just because his dick wanted some comfort.
He’d gone without sexual release before, had gone a long damn time without it, in fact. He’d survive being around Jessie and keeping things strictly business.
She opened the door, the smell of her pouring out of the bathroom. She appeared through the steam, her skin rosy pink from the shower. She wore sweats, her ni**les outlined against the soft brown fabric of her shirt. He remembered what her skin felt like—soft, warm, pliant under his hands.
Despite his intentions, his c**k twitched, began to harden, his gaze targeting her like a torpedo as she moved around the room busying herself with—well, hell he had no idea what she was doing. He was watching her body—the way she walked, the way her h*ps swayed, the sensuous stride of her legs, the way her br**sts bounced with every movement.
She stilled, obviously becoming aware of his attention, because she slowly turned around to face him as he sat in the wingback chair.
She moved to the bed, pulled back the covers, and pushed the pillows against the headboard. She laid down on her side, half reclining, and looked at him, her intent clear as she laid her palm on the mattress.
Invitation. No words, no explanations, no recriminations later.
Maybe this was what they both needed. A little release of tension before the shit hit the fan tomorrow. But could he do this again, knowing what happened between them the last time? Could he remain detached? Could it ever be “just sex” with Jessie?
He stood, walked to the bed, stopped when he hit the edge.
“Are you sure?”
She nodded.
He wasn’t going to ask again, because he did need this. And from the way she devoured his erection with her eyes, so did she.
He stripped off his clothes and climbed into bed beside her, laying his hand on the softness of her hip, then rolling his palm upward, raising her shirt up with his movements.
Bare skin. So soft and warm, fragrant from her shower. She watched him touch her, didn’t move, but her breathing quickened. He pushed her onto her back, used both hands to push her shirt up and over her breasts. Her ni**les were already tight buds awaiting his mouth. He swooped down and took one between his lips, intoxicated by the sweet smell of her skin. It was almost dizzying to be able to touch her and taste her again, when he thought he’d never be able to. And to feel her arch against him, to feed him her breasts, made his c**k rock hard, pressing urgently against the mattress.
He wanted to be inside her, burying deep and f**king her with mindless abandon. But he wanted more than that, because he knew this was going to be the last time.
And it wasn’t going to be “just sex.” Not this time.
He moved to the other nipple, teased it with his teeth and tongue until it stood hard and erect, then kissed his way down her ribs and belly, flicking the little charm at her navel.
He was going to miss having access to her body, refused to think of this being someone else’s playground someday. He pushed aside the warning bells proclaiming him a total dumbass for letting her go.
Not now, not when his hands were filled with her buttery soft skin, when he breathed in the scent of her tempting arousal just south of the teasing jewel of her belly button.
He slid down, swirling his tongue over her mound, feeling her body tense and arch as he drew closer to her sex. He repositioned himself between her legs, spreading them wide so he could see her, touch her, kiss the inside of her thighs as he draped them over his shoulders.
She was so beautiful, even here. He licked her pu**y lips and she shuddered, let out a cry of delight, and fisted his hair as he moved his tongue over her cl*tand sucked.
He wanted more, licking his way down to her pussy. She was so wet here. He let out a groan as he slid his tongue inside her, not realizing how hungry he’d been for her until the taste of her flooded his mouth. She bucked against him in uncontrollable spasms, moaning his name as she came with unashamed screams. He held on to her, licking her, soaking up everything she had to give as she rode out her orgasm. This is what he loved about Jessie, the way she came apart. No hesitation, holding nothing back and giving everything to him. He continued to kiss and lick her pu**y until she was tense and needy again, her fingers tightening in his hair. Only then did he let go of her, and only long enough to crawl up her body to capture her mouth in a deep kiss. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, holding him tight as she returned the kiss with fervor.
He broke them apart only long enough to apply a condom before pulling her in his arms and rolling her to the side. He wanted to lie with her, arms and legs tangled up. He slid his c**k inside with a gentle push, watching the way her lips parted as he drove until he was fully inside her.
His c**k throbbed, his balls tight, full and ready to burst. But all he could do was savor this moment of having Jessie in his arms, her body locked with his, the feel of her pu**y gripping him, the scent of her filling the air around them.
Neither of them had spoken—they didn’t need to. There was nothing to be said, only this moment to be shared between them. This contact they both seemed to need, and the understanding they had that this was the last time.
He moved, surging forward. Jessie answered by convulsing around him, her leg wrapping around his hip to lock him in place. With every movement her breathing grew harsher, louder, then turned to whimpers and moans. He breathed them in, memorized every sound, every expression, every subtle movement of her body until he couldn’t take it anymore and started to f**k her with long, deep strokes, holding tight to her hip as he reared back and powered hard inside her.
Then restraint became impossible. He was going to go off, especially when he felt her tighten and tremors erupt inside her. She threw her head back and gasped, held tight to him as she trembled through her orgasm. He watched her cl**ax, then he was unable to hold back and went with her, erupting from the base of his spine to jettison come in a torrent that left him gasping for breath and barely able to move.
Shaken, he held her close, realizing he didn’t want to let her go, but knowing he had to.
Jessie sighed, stroked his back, and pulled away. She kissed him, traced her finger over his lips, and without a word left the bed and went into the bathroom.
Was that to make it easier on him, or on herself?
Christ, why was this so damned difficult?
When she came out again, she had her sweats on.
“I think I’ll make some coffee. I’m not tired, and I figured you probably have to do some planning tonight.”
He nodded on his way to the bathroom. “Good idea. Thanks.”
He shut the bathroom door, stared at his reflection in the mirror, and raked his fingers through his hair. Yeah, he had to do some planning. For the mission.
That had to be his focus, though making love with Jessie had shaken him more than he thought.
He’d always been good about walking away, had never let a woman in. His heart was impenetrable, a solid wall of ice. He was incapable of loving anyone—or so he’d thought.
Jessie had gotten in.
Why was it so goddamn hard to get her out?
SIXTEEN
BEFORE DAWN, JESSIE, DIAZ, CRUSH, AND SPENCE HAD GATHERED in a private room to discuss options. True to his word, Crush had kept watch over the RV all night. He reported no activity. The RV hadn’t moved, and Rex had gone to bed without incident. Apparently a few words to a couple of his guys had put some eyes on Rex. He was under close watch now and Crush assured them no one knew why, and no questions would be asked. It wasn’t the first time Crush had some of his members watched, and no one ever questioned the Skulls’ leader.
Jessie didn’t think any of them had gotten much sleep the night before. They all yawned while nursing that first cup of coffee. She’d tried to sleep, tossing from one side to the other in the bed while Diaz paced, laid on the couch, got up, and paced more.
It wasn’t lost on her that he hadn’t gotten back in bed with her.
She ached for him, missed the feel of his big body snuggled up against her. But distance between them was probably for the best. Making love with him last night had been a spur-of-the-moment decision, a choice on her part. She’d needed it and so had he, that release of tension before the “big game,” so to speak.
But now it was time she focus on her job. She’d been too eager in so many ways. Too eager for him, as well as in her involvement with the mission. Both had cost her dearly. It was time to take a step back and let Diaz run the show, job wise. As far as their personal relationship . . .
There wasn’t one. And she was going to have to learn to live with it. She couldn’t have impersonal sex with him. She’d learned that the hard way. Sex without reaching out emotionally meant nothing.
Last night she’d let all her emotions fly. It had been wonderful. But she’d also kept in the back of her mind that Diaz was never going to be the kind of man she could have a relationship with. It had been okay, while they were in bed.
But as soon as they were done, she knew it wasn’t going to be okay. It was never going to be okay being without him.
So she was never going to sleep with him again. She’d just as soon walk away from him than continually batter her heart like that. It was best to simply focus on the mission, get through the end of this case, then get back to Wild Riders’ headquarters and move on with her life.
Without Diaz, because that’s the way he wanted it. She’d ask Grange not to assign her to a case with Diaz for a while. Then, with time and a little distance, maybe she could work with him again. Surely her heart would heal, and they could be friends. She’d move on, start dating, which is what she should have been doing all along instead of getting hung up on a guy who wasn’t interested in a future with her. Once she fell in and out of love a few times, she and Diaz could both laugh about this.
Theoretically, it sounded great. Reality was going to be a lot different.
Enough. It was time to focus. Everyone was brainstorming and she’d barely been tuning in. She turned her attention to the guys.
“We could hijack the RV,” Crush suggested.
Diaz shook his head. “The survivalists would never follow. They’d recognize the setup and it would just send them deeper undercover. We’ll lose the bust that way, and we’ll not only screw up the chance to bring in some survivalists, but Rex, Nate, and the others, too.”
“So the best thing to do is just let the transfer happen?” Jessie asked.
Diaz nodded. “Yeah. I’ve already been in touch with Walt, our Fed contact. The plan is to set up in the prearranged drop location several hours in advance of Rex’s meeting with the survivalists. The ATF is already planning to scour the area and make sure no one’s around. We’ll bury ourselves deep, hide vehicles, and be ready to jump on them as soon as they make the exchange. That way we catch both sides in the act of selling and buying illegal arms.”
“When do we go?”
Diaz looked at Crush. “We’re trained for this. You’re not. This could get dangerous.”
Crush leveled a glare at Diaz. “You can’t kick me out of this now. I can handle myself. Besides, my guys are neck deep in this shit. I feel responsible. I want to see it through.”
Diaz considered it. Bad move to bring in a civilian, but Crush seemed to know how to handle himself, and they might need another knowledgeable biker in case things went south. Besides, Crush already knew what was going to happen. Better to keep him close rather than telling him he had to stay here, pissing him off and risk having him show up at the wrong time and blow the whole operation. “Okay, but you so much as blink the wrong way and I’ll knock you out. This is a Federal bust, and it’s huge. They’re going to crap bricks knowing we have a civilian in the midst of this, so you take every step glued to my side and do exactly what I tell you.”
Crush nodded. “You got it.”
“We already have tracking devices on Rex’s bike as well as the others involved,” Diaz said. “But I want to add one to the RV, too. I’m not taking any chances in case they make a last-minute deviation from the designated meeting place, especially since we won’t be here to watch over them.”
Crush nodded. “Sounds like you have it all planned out.”
Spence snorted. “It’s never as easy as it looks. The plan just sounds simple. And straightforward plans are typically the worst kind.”
“Because a thousand different things can go wrong, and because human nature is utterly unpredictable,” Jessie added.
“Exactly.” Diaz stood and paced Crush’s crowded room. They’d holed up in here because Crush assured them of privacy. “We can plan for different outcomes, but we never know what might happen. The one thing we have to avoid is detection. No one on either Rex’s side or the survivalists’ side can know we’re there watching.”
“Are we doing video?” Spence asked.
“Got it covered.”
At Crush’s questioning look, Diaz said, “We’ll get the arms-for-cash trade on video. The Feds will need it for evidence, and I told Walt that we had video taken care of.”