He took a long, slow lick of her neck at the same time he slid his other hand between their bodies and cupped her sex, rocking his palm over her cl*tuntil she saw sparks. She shivered at the drugging sensuality of his every movement, one part caveman, the other part sensitive lover. She never knew what to expect from Diaz, in or out of bed. Maybe that’s what she found so compelling about him.
“Tell me you’re sure,” he whispered against her ear. “Are you ready for this?”
“Yes.” She avoided saying “please,” but she was damn close to saying it if he didn’t get to it and soon.
He moved his hands, sliding them underneath to cup her butt, tilt her up.
“Look at me, Jessie.”
He let go of her hair to free her head so she could turn it and meet his gaze. His eyes were so raw and intense.
“Just you and me, Jess. This is for us and for no other reason, you understand?”
TEN
HE WASN’T DOING THIS FOR THE MISSION. HE WANTED HER. JESSIE lost focus through the tears that welled. She threaded her fingers through his hair, nodded. “Yes. Just for us, Diaz.”
She felt the hot tip of his c**k at the entrance to her pussy, then the slow, sweet slide as he pushed through. He was so much bigger than any vibrator she’d ever used. He took his time, entering her with gentle ease, letting her grow accustomed to his thickness. Then he pushed and was in her, and her pu**y gripped him. The most intense contractions she’d ever felt surrounded his cock, swelled inside her as he began to move, withdrawing and going slowly at first, but as she raised her h*ps to meet each thrust he plunged harder, his fingers digging into her ass cheeks.
She’d never felt anything like this. He was hot, actual flesh and not an object or machine manufactured to simulate pleasure. He moved, flexed inside her, growing impossibly bigger with every stroke.
He held her so tenderly, one arm wrapped tight underneath her so that not even air separated them. He stroked her neck, her breasts, not once stopping as he continued to rock inside her. He mastered her body with every movement, withdrawing partway only to thrust oh so firmly against her that she felt his touch deeper than she’d felt anything before. He’d dip down, take her mouth in a light brush, then press his lips hard against hers, tangle his tongue with hers, and meld them together in a tight, mesmerizing kiss.
But what really got her, what was so different about this experience, was the eye contact—the intimacy of the way he looked at her. She hadn’t thought about sex this way, that a man like Diaz would make such soul-deep contact with his eyes while he moved inside her. It went beyond a physical joining. She felt it in her heart and it shattered her. She wasn’t prepared for it, and the tears rolled down her eyes.
Diaz stilled. “Am I hurting you?”
She cupped his cheek. “Oh, no. It’s perfect. Too damn perfect. Please, don’t stop.” She couldn’t bear it if he did.
He stared at her for the longest time and she was afraid he would stop, that he’d quit before this magic finished. He swept his hand over her face, bent down to brush his lips against hers. Then he moved again, forward, his pelvis rubbing her clit, and she was close, tightening around him. He clenched his jaw, holding back for her, waiting until she went over the edge. She gripped his arms, wrapped her legs around him, and lifted, wanting him buried deep, as far inside her as he could get.
She pulsed around him, quivered, and when he came down against her this time, she felt the splinters of orgasm driving all the way through her, in every part of her body, curling her toes and tingling her scalp.
“Diaz!” Some part of her realized she dug her nails into his arms, but she couldn’t stop. It was fierce, uncontrollable, having this man inside her when she came, feeling him tighten, draw her close, and let out a loud groan against her as he, too, shattered in orgasm, sent her shuddering into aftershocks nearly as strong as the cl**ax itself.
He took her mouth, kissed her hard, held her tight and rocked against her until the spasms subsided. And even then he didn’t let her go.
She stroked his damp hair, his back, loving the feel and scent of him surrounding her.
So this was what it was like. She’d missed so much holding out for so long, and yet she had no regrets, would have never wanted this experience with anyone but Diaz. Admittedly, he’d surprised her. She really didn’t know what she’d expected from him, but Diaz was street tough. Maybe she’d expected him to be . . . coarse and unrefined in bed. Rough with her. He hadn’t been like that at all. Instead, he’d been gentle, loving, taking time and care, making this not at all about himself, and all about her. He’d made it perfect for her, had cherished her through the process. She’d needed the maturity of her years to truly understand how important this was, what sex really meant beyond just fun and physical release.
Of course it helped that she’d been half in love with Diaz for a few years now, but she shouldn’t think about that. Not now, not when all this was so new, so magical, so perfect.
He rolled off her, stepped into the bathroom for a few seconds, and returned, gathering her close so they faced each other, side by side.
“You okay?” he asked.
She smiled, nodded. She might have even purred a little, unable to help herself.
“You look like a cat who just ate a whole bird.”
She laughed. “Something like that.”
“You’re beautiful when you come.”
Embarrassment colored her face. She shivered at the memory of how it felt to come apart under him. “Thank you for doing this for me.”
“It wasn’t just for you.” He kissed her.
Her stomach fluttered. She’d never tire of the feel of his lips on hers. She rubbed her finger across his bottom lip. So soft, about the only thing on his entire body that wasn’t hard as steel.
“I still appreciate it. I didn’t want my first experience with a man to be in front of a group.”
“You mean initiation.”
“Yes.”
“You still don’t have to do it, Jess. It’s above and beyond what’s necessary for this assignment. I can send you back to headquarters.”
“Why? You’ll have to do it. I’m pretty sure public sex is part of initiation for everyone—male and female.”
His lips curled. “I’ve had sex before. Lots of times.”
She didn’t want to think of those “lots of times,” who he’d been with, who he’d touched and made love to. It made her stomach tighten in uncomfortable ways. Of course he had a past. The man was gorgeous, and a fantastic lover. He probably had a waiting list. She had no rights to him.
But he was here now with her, for as long as it lasted. That would have to be good enough.
“I wanted this assignment, Diaz. I knew going in that the idea was to get into Crush’s gang and what that meant.”
He traced her hip with his fingers. “Do you really know what it means, Jess? Do you understand that biker gang initiations are tough as hell? Fights, public sex? Hell, sometimes there are orgies.”
Jessie knew exactly what would happen. She also had her limits. Even a gang leader would have to understand that. “I’m not f**king anyone but you. The rest of it I can handle.”
DIAZ WAS STUNNED BY JESSIE’S STATEMENT.
He liked the idea of her wanting only him. He liked it more than he should. Because he sure as hell wasn’t sharing her with any other guy. Not for the gang initiation, anyway. The thought of watching her have sex with another man made his blood churn hot, even though he had no right to claim her as his own. He had nothing to offer her.
She really didn’t know him, not enough to have gifted him with as much as she’d done tonight, with as much as she continued to give him. He’d walked away from her countless times, treated her badly, just as he knew he would. And yet she kept coming back for more. All he did was take, when he knew he shouldn’t, when he couldn’t offer her anything. There was no future for them. He’d vowed to never have a relationship with a woman—nothing long lasting, nothing that spelled commitment. Not when he knew where he’d come from. Whose blood was in his veins.
Shit. Wasn’t this just f**ked up? He couldn’t have her, but he didn’t want to see her with anyone else. What the hell was he going to do with all this . . . feeling? He knew he shouldn’t have touched her.
“You’ve gone quiet on me,” she said, tracing his bottom lip with her fingertip.
“Thinking about the mission.”
“You have a na**d woman lying next to you and you’re thinking about work?” She frowned, but her lips quirked.
“If it helps any, you’re included in that thought process.”
“It helps . . . a little. But still, shouldn’t you be wholly focused on sex . . . with me?”
“That is part of the ‘work’ I was thinking about.”
“I see. So now ha**g s*x with me is work.”
Diaz laughed, grabbed a handful of her hair and tugged. “Hell yes, it’s work. I have to please you, don’t I?”
“All you have to do is look at me and I’m pleased.”
Damn. Sometimes Jessie made it so easy. And so hard at the same time. “You should get some sleep.”
“I don’t want to sleep.” She splayed her hands across his chest, began to move them down, over his stomach, pushing him so he lay on his back. He let her have her way. She climbed on top of him, sitting astride him. His dick paid attention, growing, with a mind of its own.
So much for thinking about work, for telling himself sex with Jessie was a onetime thing.
“There’s so much you can teach me,” she said, rocking her pu**y against his now fully-hard cock.
He grabbed her h*ps and dragged her along his length. “Oh yeah? And what would you like to learn?”
Her eyes went all liquidy soft, pools he could get lost in if he let himself, a constant reminder to keep this physical only, not to get involved.
“All kinds of things. Your body, for instance.”
“I think you’ve had plenty of body play.”
“Oh not nearly enough. I want to touch you all over, Diaz. Taste every inch of you. See what you like and what you don’t like. Do you know some men like to have a finger slid in their ass during sex?”
“Jesus, Jessie! Where the hell did you learn stuff like that?”
She grinned. “I used to lift the guys’ p**n movies and sneak them into my room. That’s how I learned about sex.”
He rolled his eyes. “Great. Just great.”
She shrugged. “It’s not like I had girlfriends to discuss sex with. And sure as hell Grange or any of you guys weren’t going to talk to me about it.”
She had that right. The thought of sitting a teenaged Jessie down and having a conversation about sex made him cringe. But p**n movies? Good God. What the hell had she learned watching those?
“So I figured some of it out on my own. And watched movies. Very educational.”
“Hardly. Sex isn’t like what you see in p**n movies, Jess.”
She slid her palms over his nipples. They hardened in a rush, making his c**k lurch against her pussy. “Sure it is. You get hard. I get wet. It’s basic biology after that. I mean the movies were pretty much bad acting, but I got the idea of how it was done.”
“No, you got all the wrong ideas.”
“This is where you tell me about p**n being bad, how it victimizes women, right?”
He snorted. “Women in that industry are typically paid way more than men, so . . . no. But it doesn’t show the true side of relationships, the emotional part of lovemaking between a man and a woman who care about each other. There are big gaps in reality with those movies. Sure, they’re fun to watch as sexual enhancement, but that’s not what sex is about.”
She stilled, sat back, and looked down at him, confusion evident on her face. “Then tell me what I’m missing.”
Someone to care about her. Someone to love her.
That someone could never be him.
And he didn’t know how to respond to Jessie’s question.
What was she missing? She’d gotten her sexual education from watching p**n movies. She was missing everything. A part of him wanted to be her teacher . . . to show her all that she was misinformed about. The fun stuff. Dating, emotions, holding hands, getting to know someone first. Talking, laughing, all the fun times you could have with someone. Those breathless, anticipatory moments leading up to making love. The waiting until you couldn’t wait anymore.
The way it should have been for her. Hell, the way it should have been for him, too. All the things he’d never had either, because he hadn’t allowed it.
But hell. What did he know about that other than what he’d read about? He didn’t know how to teach her. He didn’t have relationships. He sure as hell couldn’t base it on what he’d seen growing up. That had been disastrous, ugly, nothing he’d want to pass on to anyone he cared about . . . to any woman at all. That’s why he’d always kept sex simple, uncomplicated, unattached. He’d purposely chosen women who were content with occasional sex and nothing more.
Until Jess. She wanted way more than he’d ever be able to give her. He owed her honesty, if nothing else.
“I can’t give you what you need, Jessie.”
“What is it you think I need?”
“Romance. Relationship.”
Her brows raised. “I thought we were talking about sex.”
“It’s all part of the deal. Or should be for someone like you.”
She climbed off and kneeled next to him. “Why do you always presume to know what’s best for me? What if I just want sex with no strings?”