“Rhett,” Her eyes widened and she pushed her hand against my mouth. “Shhh.”
“What? I’m just saying?” I smiled at her innocently.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen with Elliott, but I like him and I’d like to see where it goes.” She spoke softly. “Thank you for being concerned, Rhett, but I think I can handle this by myself. I don’t need you to play bodyguard.”
“Uh huh.” I frowned and looked at her bed. “Fine.”
“Veronica seems nice enough.” She looked at me curiously. “Do you like her a lot?”
“She’s fine.” I snapped and stepped forward. “I guess we can go back in the living room.”
“Rhett.” She touched my arm. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I pulled away from her and walked back into the living room. “You ready?” I walked over to Veronica and ignored Elliott. She looked up at me with an annoyed expression.
“I’ve been ready.” She replied with a sour look on her face.
“Let’s go.” I looked back at Clementine and raised an eyebrow at her. “Gimme a call, if you need me.” I stared at her for a few seconds and I could see from her expression that she was upset. Good, I thought. Let her think about what she’s doing. I walked out of the living room and through the front door without looking back. I could hear Veronica running behind me, but I didn’t slow my pace down.
“Are we going to my place now?” Veronica asked softly as she got into the car.
“I’m taking you back to your place, but I’m afraid I can’t stay the night.” I muttered as I pulled out of the parking lot.
“What?” Her voice was high. “What do you mean?”
“I mean you’ll have to use that rabbit on yourself.” I shrugged. “Or I have a friend you can call, if you really need to have some help. Tomas would be down I’m sure.”
“You’re a jerk.” She exclaimed pissed and I laughed.
“Trust me, you’re not the first girl to say that and I’m sure you won’t be the last.”
I pulled up to her apartment and dropped her off, not even bothering to make sure she made it to the door before pulling away. I was so pissed that I could barely think straight. I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I didn’t want to go home. I couldn’t go to Clementine’s. I didn’t want to see any of my guy friends. I didn’t wanna hook-up with any of the girls I had in my phone. I just wanted to be by myself in nature somewhere. I just needed to switch my brain off. I drove and drove for about an hour, before I decided to go to an old park that I used to go to as a kid. It was one of the only positive memories I had of my childhood and my mother.
I parked my car and got out and walked to a bench that was a couple of yards away from the children’s playground. The night air was warm, but there was a cool breeze. I closed my eyes for a second and sat back. The earth seemed to be moving beneath me and I was finding it hard to breathe. I took a couple of deep breaths and then opened my eyes and looked at the sky. The stars were shining brightly and I looked around at the playground as if seeing it for the first time. I could picture my mothers’ face as she watched me from the bench, her face looking like an angel as she stared at me with pride and love. Her hair had been long and blonde and her big blue eyes were always warm. Or they’d always been warm, until everything changed. I’d loved coming to the park. We’d always pack a picnic lunch and my mom would swing me around and around until both of us felt slightly dizzy.
I gripped the seat beneath me as I remembered my mothers’ laughing face and her loving eyes. Her loving eyes had lied to me though. She didn’t love me. She’d never loved me. If she had, she wouldn’t have left. She wouldn’t have loved the alcohol more than me. It had been ten years since I’d seen my mother. Ten long years of wondering why she’d stopped loving me. Ten years of wondering what I could have done differently. I could feel my eyes growing heavy and my heart aching as I sat there.
I hated that she could still do this to me. I hated that there was never a day that went by that I didn’t feel that slight ache inside. The ache I couldn’t reach. I hated that sometimes late at night, I woke up and all I could think about was her. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t want to feel this way. I wasn’t that guy. I didn’t get emotional. I didn’t care. I didn’t let anyone get too close or affect me. The only person I loved was Clementine. And she was my best friend. I knew that she was the only one I could count on to always be there for me. I couldn’t risk that friendship. Not for anything. I frowned as I realized my thoughts had changed from my mother to Clementine. I sighed as I sat there, feeling so tired and confused. I sat there in the silence, enjoying being by myself. This was what my life was now. It was just me. Clementine would find someone and leave me. It was inevitable.
Beep Beep. My phone vibrated as I received a text message and I pulled the phone out of my pocket.
“Hey.” It was Clementine. I was about to put my phone back in my pocket, but decided to text her back.
“Hey.” I didn’t have anything else left to say.
“Movie was good.”
“That’s nice.”
“Elliott left.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t be mad.”
I didn’t respond.
“Veronica and you having a good time?”
“I dropped her home.”
“Oh.”
I didn’t respond again.
“I thought about it and you were right.” She texted me again after two minutes.
“About what?” I texted back.
“It wasn’t smart to invite Elliott back to my apartment after one meeting.”
“Told ya.” I smiled to myself.
“He’s not a psycho though.”
“We’ll see.”
“What you doing?”
“Relaxing.”
“At home?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
“I came to relax.”
“Oh. I see.”
I didn’t respond again. Instead, I stood up and walked over to the playground and looked around.
“Can I come?” She texted back again.
“If you want.” I responded slowly. There was no response from Clementine after that and I walked back to the bench and sat down again. About ten minutes later, I saw a car pulling into the parking lot. I watched as Clementine got out of the car and walked towards me with something in her arms.
“Hi.” She smiled at me softly.
“Hi.” I nodded and tried not to stare at her beautiful face.
“I brought this for you.” She handed me a sweater. “I knew it was pretty cool out and I knew you just had on your t-shirt.”
“Thanks.” I took it from her gratefully and pulled it on. “How’d you know where I was?”
“How could I not know?” She smiled and sat down next to me.
“Yeah.” I sighed and leaned back, my shoulders rubbing hers.
“That’s what best friends are for.” She rested her head down on my shoulder and we both sat there in silence just watching the stars. These were the times that I loved. These were the times I craved. Sitting in silence with someone. With her. It reminded me that while I felt alone, I always had her. Even in my darkest hours. Even when I didn’t want to talk. Even when I felt like the world was caving in on me. Clementine was always there. She was the light at the end of the tunnel. I closed my eyes and thought about my mom. There was a point in my life that I had thought she’d always be there as well. There was a point when I thought that I was her world. But I’d been wrong. I felt my body tensing as Clementine rested next to me. What if Clementine left me as well? What if her forever was temporary as well? Would I ever be able to get over losing my best friend?
Chapter Six
“What time is the barbeque?” I watched Clementine as she pottered around in my kitchen.
“I told Nanna, we’ll be there around noon tomorrow.” She opened the fridge and pulled out some butter and cheese. “Want a grilled cheese?”
“Sure.” I nodded and sat on one of the stools that she had helped me choose out. “Don’t burn the bread.”
“When have I ever burned the bread?” She turned to me and raised an eyebrow.
“Well there’s a first time for everything.”
“There’s a first time for me to stab you with this knife.” She rolled her eyes at me and I laughed.
“Just don’t burn the bread.”
“Don’t just sit there watching me cook.” She grabbed a frying pan and put it on the stove.
“What else should I be doing?” I jumped up and walked over to her.
“Go and watch TV or something.”
“You’re the TV fiend.” I reached over and grabbed a slice of American cheese and started eating it.
“Rhett!”
“Yes?” I grinned as I nibbled on the cheese.
“You’re going to ruin your appetite.”
“Yes, mom.”
“Whatever.” She punched me in the arm. “Get out.”
“In case you forgot this is my kitchen.”
“What’s yours is mine.” She grinned at me and I groaned.
“Never.” I shuddered.
“Thanks, Rhett.”
“Sorry, but that makes me think of weddings and forever and evers.” I made a face and she gave me a look.
“There’s nothing wrong with forever and ever and happily ever afters.”
“They don’t exist.” I opened the fridge and grabbed a coke. “Unless you live in a fairytale.”
“Not true.” She shook her head. “There is someone out there for everyone, even you.”
“Even me?” I laughed and took a long swig of coke. “I don’t want anyone.”
“Don’t you ever wonder what will happen though, Rhett?” She looked at me curiously. “Don’t you want to grow old with someone?”
“I have you.” I laughed and she smiled at me softly.
“But I’m going to get married and have kids, what then?”
“You’ll still be my best friend.” I frowned and tried to ignore the pang that hit my heart at her words. What would happen if Clementine met someone and fell in love? What if she got married and had a bunch of kids. What would happen to us?
“I will, but my husband won’t like me hanging out with you every day.”
“You guys can adopt me.” I grinned.
“I’m being serious, Rhett.” She frowned. “We won’t be able to hang out every day. You can’t just come over. You can’t call me at all hours of the night. You can’t expect to just be in my life like you are now.”
“What are you trying to say, Clemmie?” I frowned now. “Are you mad at me or something? Are you still upset at the other night?”
“No.” She sighed. “I’m just saying you have to realize that everything isn’t going to stay the same.”
“I want us to stay the same.” I grabbed her around the waist and picked her up.
“Rhett, put me down.” She squealed as she squirmed against me. “Rhett.”
“What?” I laughed and carried her through to the living room and dropped her on the couch.
“You can’t just pick me up like that.” She sat up and glared at me, her face a red flush.
“Why not?” I grinned and winked at her.
“Because it’s not appropriate.”
“Since when have you cared if something is appropriate or not?” I sat on the couch next to her. “You’ve worn my boxer shorts to sleep in. That’s not appropriate.”
“That’s only because I slept over and didn’t have PJ’s.” She glared at me.
“You could have slept na**d.”
“Yeah, that’s going to happen.” She rolled her eyes at me and I laughed. All of a sudden an image of a na**d Clementine in my bed appeared in my mind and I stifled a groan. I hadn’t had sexual thoughts of her in a few days and I thought I’d controlled them, but I guess I was wrong.
“So you going to come to the truck race with me next week?” I said and then grinned as she flipped the sandwich in the pan.
“Not sure.” She grabbed a plate from the cupboard. “Maybe.”
“Dude, what do you mean maybe? It’s the beginning of summer. We always go together.”
“I said maybe,” She spoke softly. “We have a lot of traditions, Rhett and I can’t keep up with all of them. Sometimes things change and life gets in the way.”
“Uh huh.” I rolled my eyes and ignored the tenseness in my shoulders at her words. “Nothing has to change if we don’t want it to.”
***
"Rhett, you made it." Nanna walked over and have me a huge hug as I walked in the door.
"Of course, I wouldn't have missed it." I grinned back at her and looked around. "Where's Clementine?" I asked, feeling irritated.
"Oh, she's in the back with her brothers playing softball." Nanna smiled. "She brought her friend Penelope as well."
"Yeah, I gathered." I responded politely. "I thought Clementine and I were going to ride over together. That's what we always do." I frowned as I stood there.
"I think her friend Penelope needed a ride." Nanna rubbed my shoulders. "Now come, let me give you some lemonade and you can go out and join everyone."