For some reason, I really wanted Meghan to take her life back. I wanted it for her and her kids. I really, really wanted the oblivious and ostentatious dad to get a dose of karmic retribution. I still couldn’t figure out a way to tell Chris’s wife what he was up to without it blowing back on me, but after watching this woman suffer all week at the careless hands of a man who was supposed to love her, I was feeling more and more compelled to come clean with her. Ignorance wasn’t bliss.
I needed help onto the horse because my wrist had swollen and turned into a scary shade of purplish black. It burned so badly that I was hardly able to breathe through it and moving my arm was practically impossible. Lane made his way over to give me a boost; however, he was rudely shoved out of the way by his big brother when Cy noticed his sibling’s hands at my waist. I needed more than a hand on my ass to get me in the saddle this time around and there was no hiding the grimace and gasp of pain that whooshed out when I leaned forward to reach for the reins.
Cy gave me a concerned look from under his brows. “You gonna make it?”
It took a minute for me to get my breath back so I could form words. When I did, they were weak and shaky. “I’ll make it. I don’t really have much of a choice.”
He nodded grimly. “When Sutton finds us I’ll have him and Lane finish out the ride and I’ll take you back to the ranch so you can get that wrist looked at. It might be broken. Emrys can catch up with you after the ride. It should only be a day’s difference if we push hard.”
I didn’t love that idea and I knew Em would hate it. She was already hovering over me like a mother hen. If she knew I was in enough pain to need a doctor, there was no way she was going to let me take off alone with Cy. I figured that was a bridge I would cross when I had to, right now I needed to concentrate on staying in the saddle and not passing out every time I got jolted and jostled in the saddle.
“I’ll be all right.” And I would be because I finally understood that when you got kicked around, hurt, even abandoned, it was possible to bounce back from it, you just had to be willing to try. Hell, Cy was living with half a heart and he was still more of a man and a better person than most people who were whole. I would heal and I would live to fight and fuck another day. It was empowering knowledge and it finally shut the door on all the doubt and uncertainty that had been pushing its way over all the confidence and conviction inside of me.
“That’s my girl.” He patted my thigh and gave it a squeeze.
The ride to the river was a tooth grinding, stomach clenching, white knuckled trip. I almost threw up twice and my vision kept blurring in and out to the point that Cy took the reins from me and guided the horse I was on because I couldn’t hold on anymore and barely managed to stay in the saddle. Emrys was asking me if I was okay every five minutes and I was still getting dirty looks and annoyed scowls from Evan. It was miserable and I was a mess. My brain was shouting at me to give up, to let the pain take over and surrender to the all-encompassing feelings of uselessness and hopelessness swirling under the surface.
By the time we got to a place that was flat and far enough away from the riverbank that we wouldn’t get flooded out if it decided to rain, I was nothing more than a live wire of agony and torment. The slightest movement had tears pricking my eyes and my breath whooshing out in sucking gasps and groans. I couldn’t get off the horse without help, which meant I literally fell into Cy’s waiting arms. He caught me without complaint but the harsh expression on his face as he looked at me let me know my suffering was pretty evident on my face.
“You were white as a ghost when we started out and now you’re gray with a little green thrown in to keep things interesting.” I couldn’t stay upright any longer. I collapsed into him, my forehead hitting the center of his chest as his arms wrapped around me to keep me somewhat vertical.
“That was rough.” The words were garbled together and didn’t make much sense. I felt like I needed a hundred naps and one million Tylenol.
“It was, but you made it.” He twisted his head and told Lane, who was also watching me like I might keel over at any minute, “I’m gonna take her back. She’s barely holding it together and her wrist might be broken.”
Lane’s frown cut even deeper into his good looking face. “You sure that’s safe? If something happens to you on the way back she’s gonna be all on her own with a busted wing.”
The thought of getting back on a lumbering, trotting horse made me groan out loud and I held up my good hand in protest. “I’m not getting back in a saddle. It isn’t broken. I might have a hairline fracture, at most. It’s sprained and swollen but I’ll live. The bouncing around on the back of a horse isn’t helping things at all and that’s what feels like it might kill me.” And I didn’t want to think about what would happen to me if I ended up alone in the woods.
“The only thing we can do is rig a sling together for her if she doesn’t want to ride back to the ranch. I’ll check it out more closely once I have her away from prying eyes.” He gave me a lopsided grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I know a secret spot I can take you to that will help with the sore muscles and take some of the stiffness out of that wrist. It’s not much of a fix but it’s the best I can do in a pinch.”
Emrys and Evan were both watching us with narrowed eyes. Emrys’s were full of curiosity and question. She was worried about me, but she didn’t want to get in the way of whatever it was that had Cy’s arms wrapped so tightly around me. Evan was silently wishing horrible things upon me with every glare and glower she shot my way, but I was in way too much pain to worry about her innocent crush getting obliterated. She would survive and be stronger for it. I wish someone had taken the time to teach me that young hearts could heal so quickly before I built a fortress around mine.