“You know what?” I say slowly. “You may not realize it, but that's very sig... sigficant... significant.” I'm not sure that word came out quite right. But I know what I mean. If I have sex, maybe it'll blow my mind. Maybe that's just what I need! Maybe Amy was right all along, it's nature's own amnesia-?cure.
“I'm going to do it.” I put my glass down with a crash. “I'm going to have sex with my husband!” 223 “You go, girl!” says the American, laughing. “Have fun.”
I'm going to have sex with Eric. This is my mission. As I ride home in a taxi I'm quite excited. As soon as I get back, I'll jump him. And we'll have amazing sex and my mind will be blown and suddenly everything will be clear. The only tiny snag I can think of is I don't have the marriage manual on me. And I can't totally remember the order of foreplay. I close my eyes, trying to ignore my dizzy head and recall exactly what Eric wrote. Something was in a clockwise direction. And something else was with “gentle, then urgent tongue strokes.” Thighs? Chest? I should have memorized it. Or written it on a Post-?it; I could have stuck it on the headboard. Okay, I think I have it. Buttocks first, then inner thighs, then scrotum... “Sorry?” says the taxi driver. Oops. I didn't realize I was speaking aloud. “Nothing!” I say hastily. Earlobes came in somewhere, I suddenly remember. Maybe that was the urgent tongue strokes. Anyway, it doesn't matter. What I can't remember I'll make up. I mean, it can't be that we're some boring old married couple and do it exactly the same way each time, can it?
Can it? I feel a tiny qualm, which I ignore. It's going to be great. Plus, I have fantastic underwear on. Silky and matching, and everything. I don't even possess anything scaggy anymore. We draw up in front of the building and I pay the taxi 224 driver. As I travel up in the lift I remove the chewing gum that I've been chewing for fresh breath, and unbutton my shirt a bit. Too far. You can see my bra. I do it up again, let myself into the apartment, and call out, “Eric!” There's no answer, so I head toward the office. I am quite drunk, to tell the truth. I'm lurching on my heels, and the walls are going backward and forward in my field of vision. We'd better not try and do it standing up. I arrive at the door of the office and look for a few moments at Eric, who's working at his computer. On the screen I can see the brochure for Blue 42, his new building. The launch party is in a few days, and he's spending all his time preparing his presentation. Okay, what he should do now is sense the charged sexual vibe in the room, turn around, and see me. But he doesn't. “Eric,” I say in my most husky, sensual voicebut still he doesn't move. Suddenly I realize he's wearing earphones. “Eric!” I yell, and at last he turns around. He pulls out his earphones and smiles. “Hi. Good day?” “Eric... take me.” I push a hand through my hair. “Let's do it. Blow my mind.” He peers at me for a few seconds. “Sweetheart, have you been drinking?” “I may have had a couple of cocktails. Or three.” I nod, then hold on to the door frame for balance. “The point is, they made me realize what I want. What I need. Sex.” “Oooo-?kay.” Eric raises his eyebrows. “Maybe you should sober up, have something to eat. Gianna made us a great seafood stew”
“I don't want seafood stew!” I feel like stamping my foot. “We have to do it! It's the only way I'll ever remember!” What's wrong with him? I was expecting him to leap on me, but instead he's rubbing his forehead with the back of his fist.
“Lexi, I don't want to rush you into anything. This is a big decision. The doctor at the hospital said we should only go to whatever stage you're comfortable with” “Well, I'm comfortable with us doing it right now.” I undo two more buttons, exposing my La Perla underwire plunge bra. God, my boobs look great in this. I mean, they ought to, for sixty quid. “Come on.” I lift my chin in a challenging way. “I'm your wife.” I can see Eric's mind working as he stares at me. “Well...okay!” He closes his document and turns off the computer, then walks over, puts his arms around me, and starts kissing me. And it's... nice. It is. It's... pleasant. His mouth is quite soft. I noticed that before. It's a bit weird for a man. I mean, it's not exactly wwsexy, but “Are you comfortable, Lexi?” Eric's breathy voice comes in my ear. “Yes!” I whisper back. “Shall we move to the bedroom?” “Okay!” Eric leads the way out of the office and I follow him, stumbling slightly on my heels. It all seems a bit oddly formal, like he's showing me in to a job interview. In the bedroom, we resume kissing. Eric seems really into it, but I have no idea what I'm supposed to do next. I 226 glimpse the marriage manual on the ottoman and wonder if I could quickly nudge it open to Foreplay with my toe. Except Eric might notice. Now he's pulling me down onto the bed. I have to reciprocate. But with what? Eeny-?meeny-?miney No. Stop it. I'm going to go with... chest. Unbutton the shirt. Sweeping strokes. Clockwise. He does have a good chest. I'll give him that. Firm and muscled from the hour he spends in the gym every day.