“I do.” I walked a couple of stalls down to where Da Vinci was stabled. “This big guy is mine.”
“Oh, he’s gorgeous.” Her eyes ran over his sleek black body. She looked at the plaque next to his stall. “Da Vinci, huh?”
“Well, I was pretty young when I got him.” I chuckled. “It was when I’d really just started to get into painting.”
“It’s a good name.” She reached out and stroked between his eyes.
“Do you ride?”
“I haven’t ridden a horse since I was little.” Her eyes clouded. “It was a really good day.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Well, my father dried out for a while. Stopped drinking and acted like a real father. I don’t know what triggered the change but I was more than happy when it happened.” She shrugged. “For my birthday he took me to a camp where you could ride horses on trails. It was the most fun we’d ever had together. He even got me a present.”
“Sounds like a good memory.” I watched her face carefully. Her tone had taken on a fond quality.
“It is. I guess that’s why I like horses so much.” She shook her head. “I’m sure that’s what a psychiatrist would say.”
“Not a bad reason.” I shrugged. “We all have fond memories that influence how we feel about things.” And I was glad that Meredith did have some fond memories of her childhood. I was starting to wonder if she’d ever been happy.
“True.” She smiled at me. “So, show me this lake.”
I held my hand out to her, reveling in the way she immediately took it without thought.
I led her through the trees and to an outcropping of rocks that overlooked the water. I sat down and patted next to me. There was a light scuffle on the stone as she took a seat next to me. She tucked her legs against her chest and looked out over the water.
“This is a great spot.” Her voice was soft.
“I come here to clear my mind.”
“You mean the slacker prince worries about things?” She pushed me with an elbow.
“Occasionally.” I tilted my head back and looked at the stars. “Sometimes I’ll feel stuck on a painting. It’s usually because I need to take a step back and let it simmer.”
She hummed her understanding.
“I also come out here when I’ve been in the public too much.” I looked over at her.
“You mean doing public events? Royal duties.”
“Yeah. It’s not the speaking so much as all that goes with it.” I took a deep breath of crisp air. “It’s what goes along with being in the spotlight. I feel like I have to be someone else. It’s . . . draining.”
“What about your art shows?” She cocked her head and looked over at me. “Do those make you uncomfortable?”
I thought about it for a minute. “No.”
“Maybe it’s because you’re still being yourself.” Her voice was thoughtful. “Being an artist is first and the prince second. You’re doing something that completes you.”
I let that roll around in my head. I’d never thought about the fact that doing art shows didn’t bother me, but what she said made sense.
“Maybe.”
“Maybe? I’m right and you know it.” She grinned up at me.
“Cocky, aren’t you?”
“Must be rubbing off from spending time with you.”
“Now that definitely makes sense.” I reached out with an arm and tugged her against my side.
“Thanks for bringing me out here.”
She put her head on my shoulder and my heart did something funny. I looked up at the sky and wondered what I was doing. Meredith had been right. Being with her could be dangerous. Not because of her family or because of her love for the spotlight.
But because I was in serious danger of falling in love.
And that just didn’t happen to me.
THIRTEEN
I LOOKED AT MY black dress and sighed. I looked nice. In fact, I looked great. Too bad my insides didn’t match the outside.
The black dress fit perfectly. The sleeves fell to a comfortable but fashionable length, while the tiny belt I wore accented my waist. I hadn’t brought many pairs of shoes with me, but I had thankfully grabbed a couple pairs of heels. I had debated over my shoes far longer than I should have. I’d brought black heels for the funeral, but after evaluation had decided to go with the pair that were such a dark red, they were almost black. It was just a tiny splash of color and it gave my confidence a boost.
I stepped away from the mirror and picked up my pearl ring from the nightstand. I slid it on my finger and felt my eyes grow teary. He was really gone. That man had been the only stable family I had growing up. He’d held a job, paid his bills, didn’t have crazy rampages.
I wiped at my eyes and tried to pull myself together. I hadn’t seen him since we’d arrived. It hadn’t been required that we identify the body, and I waived the viewing. Granddad had always thought those were strange; staring at a dead body seemed odd to him. But right now, I wish I hadn’t decided against it. I wish I had gotten to see him one more time. Just once more.
I closed my eyes and counted to ten. I needed to pull myself together before everything that was going to happen today. I’d been up for hours, getting messages from Rachel, my grandfather’s friends, and even the press looking for a statement. It had already been a nightmare.