“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I came to check on you, and my stuff was in here.” The lies rolled easier off my tongue than the truth. When you spent as much time as I did concealing your true self, it took no effort.
“No, it’s fine.” She sat up and pushed her hair from her face as she yawned. “How was the party?”
“Boring.” I tried not to stare at her legs as she stretched, rolling my neck from side to side. “So, you wanna talk about what happened earlier…with that guy?”
She shook her head as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “I really don’t know where he came from. I went home to change between shifts, and he was just there…waiting.”
“What are you going to do once we leave? You can’t really be sleeping on the streets or hanging out in dark alleys.”
“I met you in a dark alley, and you’re not so bad.” She shrugged, and I laughed sardonically. I was a curse, a black cloud. It was a sleight of hand. I hadn’t saved her, just lured her into my own web. She wanted to feel like she could trust me and all of this was on her terms, but I didn’t even trust myself.
“Maybe he wasn’t the one you needed to watch out for.” Subtle truths slipped through, veiled in sarcasm. It was the only warning she would get. I wasn’t strong enough to walk away.
“I’ll take my chances.” She stretched her arms over her head as she yawned, bowing her back forward. I couldn’t help but notice her small br**sts pressed against the thin fabric of my shirt. I wished I had chosen something that would conceal a hard-on better than these shorts. “I was trying to save up to go back home, but now I will have to start all over.” She pulled her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, hugging herself.
“Where’s home?”
“Technically here, but I don’t really remember much of it. I left when I was little. My grandmother used to live in Jacksonville before she passed. I’ve always wanted to go back and buy her place just in case.” She sighed as she rested her cheek on her knees.
“Just in case what?” My chest tightened as I thought about the memories I’d left behind and how hard it was to come back. I didn’t like how personal things turned with her.
“It’s silly.” She waved her hand as if to dismiss the conversation, but I knew there was something deep lurking below the calm surface, and I wanted to know more.
“What happened after your grandma died?”
“That’s a few years I’d like to forget. So what about you? Are all of you from here?”
“Just me.”
“How did you guys meet?”
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose at the onslaught of memories. “It’s really late.” Liquor was still pumping through my veins, and if I didn’t end this conversation, I would end up saying more than I wanted.
“Oh.” Ella pulled her lip between her teeth as she looked up at me quizzically, biting back whatever question was plaguing her.
“What?”
“What’s your real name? It’s kind of weird I’m sleeping in your bed and don’t even know who you really are.”
“Many women have slept in my bed without knowing who I really am. You don’t want to know, and you don’t need to know.” I cursed myself in my head. I’d just reduced Ella to a notch in a f**king headboard.
“Fair enough.” If I’d offended her, she didn’t let it show. She pushed from the bed and stood in front of me, stretching again. My shirt she wore rode above the waist of the boxers, which she had rolled down to sit low on her hips. There was something incredibly sexy about seeing her crawl out of my bed in my clothes.
“Are you hungry, or do you need anything?” I tried to keep my eyes on hers, but my gaze traveled down her chest as I grew hard. The air around us began to change, and it was suddenly very apparent that we were locked alone in a bedroom. My self-control only went so far. I wasn’t that love-sick little boy anymore. My scars ran much deeper than anyone had seen.
“I could use something to drink,” she said.
“Trigger has a few bottles. His room is upstairs. I could grab something. What’s your poison?”
Her lust-filled eyes traveled up my na**d torso and locked on to mine before glancing to my mouth as she took a step closer to me, her fingers touching the bracelet Katie had made me. Poison. That’s exactly what I was to a girl like her, like Katie, the first and last girl that I had kissed. It was a move I couldn’t counter. I had to walk away. I didn’t want to use Ella like all the other women in my life.
“I should go.” My voice trailed off as I rubbed my palm across my jaw and turned away from her so I wouldn’t be tempted to act on my impulses. “Before he falls asleep.” My tone was harsher than I intended, but Phantom’s concerns replayed in my head. He wasn’t worried for me. He was worried about Ella, and I should be too. As strong as she pretended she was, she had no sense of self-preservation. Her pride clouded her judgment, much like in the alleyway. She would have died fighting that prick before she screamed for help. I dug through my bag for a T-shirt as I talked myself into walking away.
“I don’t want alcohol.” Ella put her hand on my shoulder, and I turned around to face her. Her eyebrows were drawn together in rejection. I wanted so desperately to kiss away the worries that marred her perfect face. I wanted to slip into the fantasy of the past that haunted me, but I knew it was something I’d never recover from.
“I know what you want. I can’t give it to you.” I walked around her and out the door before she could respond. The night air was muggy as I sank down into a crouching position with my hands together. She wasn’t Katie. I needed to get that through my head so it is easier to walk away when we left town. What happened to her after that wasn’t my problem. I wasn’t going to be able to protect her, and she didn’t want me to. Worrying myself over that wasn’t doing me any favors. Fucking her would be a big mistake, even if it was all I wanted to do.
The door opened behind me, and Ella slipped out. Dressed in her own clothing, her arms were around herself as she stepped off the curb and began walking across the parking lot. She was leaving, like I’d hoped, and it set my mind into a panic.
“Where are you going?” I called after her, but she kept walking. “Ella?” I stood as she made her way through the rows of cars, desperately trying to talk myself out of following her. “Fuck.” I walked after her, the gravel biting into the soles of my feet.
I had to jog to catch up with her before she reached the road. Grabbing her arm, I stopped her and turned her to face me. Her voice was strained as she began to ramble.
“I made a mistake coming here. I’m sorry I screwed up your night. I appreciate your help, but I’m not your problem. Just let me go before I humiliate myself any further.” She tugged against my grip, but I tightened it so she wouldn’t leave.
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. That wasn’t my intention.” My eyes searched hers before I took a deep breath, sinking deeper into the lies that now clouded my reality. “I’ve been through a lot. I’ve…done a lot of things that I’m not proud of.”
“We all have regrets.”
“I don’t regret anything.” I shook my head, the muscles in my jaw flexing as I clenched my teeth. “I’m not your f**king hero, Ella. I’m no better than that ass**le who attacked you,” I snapped, hating the animal I had become. Doing the right thing wasn’t something I was accustomed to. I was trying desperately not to slip back into the past, but I only had so much strength. I was far weaker than I let on.
“Maybe I don’t want you to be my hero.” Her words were challenging, and her eyes narrowed as she brushed her long hair from her face angrily. My dick responded to the subtle gesture. I’d wanted to run my fingers through her hair all night. I fought the urge to slam her up against one of these cars and show her exactly what she was asking from me. “Did you ever think of that? Maybe I just wanted to forget everything for five goddamn minutes. But you’ve reminded me of exactly who I am.”
I was using what happened earlier as an excuse when the real problem was me. It wasn’t fair and damn sure wasn’t what I wanted. I closed the small gap between us, my bare chest pressed against hers. I towered over her, but she straightened her back and stood tall. My free hand ghosted over her cheek, sliding into her soft hair before gripping it tightly and tugging her head back, forcing her to look up at me.
“Five minutes?” I said. “I’m insulted.”
Her lips curved slightly with amusement. She was playing a dangerous game. She thought she wanted control but didn’t really understand what it entailed. Her power over the situation was an illusion I let her believe. I was good at reading people. Most didn’t put in the effort she had to mask her true intentions, but I could see it all in her eyes. She wanted me to make her feel special. The chase was what turned her on, made her feel safe. She had no idea how special she really was.
“Prove me wrong.” She raised her eyebrow, challenging me. She was playing cat and mouse with a motherfucking lion.
I was about to cross a line, and there was nothing harmless about me. I wasn’t a tortured artist with the need to express my feelings through music. I was the f**king devil incarnate, biding my time and waiting for the chance to avenge my loss. Our eyes searched each other’s, the green ripping my heart out with every beat, as I slowly lowered my mouth to hers. Her lips were soft, and I pressed harder against her as I inhaled the sweet memory of cherry ChapStick. Her head tilted as lips parted to allow me access. My hand fell from her arm to her lower back as I pulled her body tight against mine, my tongue sweeping over her lower lip as I drank her in. Her own tongue pressed back against mine, deepening our kiss. She wasn’t timid, and her urgency pulled me into the moment and out of my thoughts. I kept my fingers tangled in her hair as my other hand moved lower, sliding over her ass. Her own hands were on my sides, holding me against her, the evidence of how much I wanted her pressed against her stomach. She wasn’t wearing a bra, and her ni**les hardened against me.
“You want me to stop treating you like you’re breakable? It stops now.” I lifted her, her legs wrapping around me as I turned, sitting her down on the hood of a car, her skirt pushed up over her hips. I slid my hand under her tank top, palming her breast in my hand as I continued to kiss her. I was desperate to feel her, outside and in. I’d never wanted to f**k someone so badly, and I was willing to do it in the middle of a parking lot.
She whimpered as I rocked my h*ps against her, her panties and my shorts doing little to keep us apart. Her hands were on my back, and she pulled me toward her from her own desperation.
“Come back to the room so I can take my time f**king you,” I mumbled against her lips, my body humming with anticipation. Fuck trying to be the good guy. If I couldn’t save myself, no one else would be safe. She nodded and reluctantly broke away from our kiss, her thumb wiping over her lower lip. Fuck, she was sexy and nothing like the others. Too bad she was like the one I needed to forget.
I straightened and held my hand out for hers. She took it, and I pulled her to her feet. She giggled as she pulled her skirt down over her hips, realizing what we had just done in public.
Ella walked by me and back toward the room, her h*ps rocking with each step. I followed her as she slipped her hand into her messenger bag and pulled out the key card to the room.
“You knew I’d come after you.” I narrowed my eyes as she slipped it into the card slot and pushed the door open without speaking a word.
“I hoped.”
“Be careful what you wish for.” I waited for her to enter before following her into the cool air. I stood just inside the door as she faced me, dropping her purse and sliding the bag off her shoulders to the floor as she kicked off her sandals. Her hands moved quickly, undoing her jean skirt as she slid it over her hips, but her fingers gave away her nervousness. It was such a f**king turn-on to see her act so brave when I knew this wasn’t something she would normally do. I was glad. The idea of her doing this with other men would have killed the moment for me, even though there was no reason for me to give a f**k who or what she did.
“Are you on something?” I asked, not wanting any physical barrier between us. She nodded, and I took two large strides toward her. My arms slipped around her back, gripping her ass as I pulled her against me and onto her toes. My mouth was on hers, hungry to be closer, desperate to be inside of her and lost in a memory.
I grabbed her tank top and pulled it roughly over her, sending her hair cascading over small br**sts. She looked to the ground for a moment, unsure of herself. If she had any doubt of how f**king incredible she looked, the evidence was stiff and obvious under my shorts. I gripped my c**k through the fabric, desperate for some relief. She pushed against my shoulders, and I walked backward until I was against the wall. Her lips pressed against my chest. I wanted nothing more than to let her continue her journey lower, but if I was going to hell, I’d make the trip worth it.
I grabbed her shoulders and turned, pressing her back against the wall with a little more force than necessary. A wicked grin spread across her face as I bent down to taste her mouth again, my fingers digging hard into the flesh of her upper thighs.
Possessive
Chapter 13—Ella
Possessive: demanding someone’s total attention and love
His fingertips gripped me possessively. I loved the burn, the idea of his marks lingering on my flesh long after this night was over, a reminder of being wanted by someone who was wanted by all. My own fingers slid over his chest, and I dug my nails into his flesh, causing him to growl. His teeth bit down on my lower lip.