She pops her head out of the door, while still only half in her T-shirt. She tugs it down, and peers at Edward. “Huh? Where are we going?”

“Edward won’t say. But it’s a present. From Damien.”

“And I’m invited, too?”

“Absolutely,” Edward says.

“How fab is that? Well, shit,” she says to me, “I’m not turning down a mystery present from a guy with billions. That’s just not something I’m programmed to do.”

“Fair enough. I guess we’re going,” I add to Edward.

Jamie switches the pj bottoms out for jeans, and we grab our purses and follow Edward down to the limo. I wonder if Damien requested it, or if Edward decided to drive the limo instead of the Town Car simply to give Jamie a thrill. If so, it worked. She’s checking out every seat, poking into the bar, and examining each and every gadget on the console.

“Wine?” she asks, finding a chilled bottle of Chardonnay in a mini-refrigerator. Shows how much I pay attention. I didn’t even know the limo had a fridge. Then again, I was a bit distracted each time I took a ride in it.…

Edward takes us out onto I-10 and then heads east, which surprises me, as I’d been expecting us to head for the beach. “Where do you think we’re going?” I ask Jamie, who’s riffling through the CD collection that I’ve never bothered to look at.

“Who cares?”

I consider that, and decide she has a very good point.

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Fifteen minutes later, it’s clear we’re heading out of Los Angeles, I’m on my second glass of wine, and Madonna is belting out “Like a Virgin.”

“So totally retro,” Jamie says, half-dancing in her seat. I consider overruling her choice, but it’s fun and loud and what the hell.

By the time we pass the windmill farms that mark the desert near Palm Springs, we’ve played classic rock, classic country, and a varied selection from current artists. We’ve danced—as much as you can in a limo—and sung and have basically turned the limo into party central. We’ve laughed so hard we’ve almost cried, and I think it’s the best time Jamie and I have had together since we skipped out of Friday classes our freshman year and drove from Austin to New Orleans.

I am so going to show Damien my gratitude when I see him.

Finally, Edward exits the 10 for a smaller highway, then a regular street, then a caliche road. I’m beginning to think that our destination must be a campsite when I see the sunset glowing against the white stucco of a low building nestled near the foothills of the rising mountains. We pass through a security gate, and I realize that what I thought was one building is a collection of several smaller ones, all surrounded by palm trees reaching up to brush the sky.

Jamie and I are pressed to the windows now, and she sees the sign first. “Holy shit,” she says. “We’re at the Desert Ranch Spa.”

“Seriously?” I don’t know why I sound so surprised. The Desert Ranch Spa may be one of those insanely expensive resorts where celebrities go for a little alone time, but it’s not like Damien can’t afford it.

“Are we staying the night?” Jamie asks. “Or maybe we’re just here for dinner? God, I hope we’re staying the night. I’ve never stayed in a place like this.”

The limo winds its way to the front entrance, and I gulp down the rest of my wine and slide toward the door, so that I’m ready to go the moment Edward opens it. When he does, there’s a woman beside him in pencil-thin trousers and a silk tank top. “Ms. Fairchild, Ms. Archer. Welcome to Desert Ranch,” she says, with an accent I recognize only as Eastern European. “I’m Helena. Come. I’ll take you to your bungalow.”

Bun-ga-low, Jamie mouths with eyes wide. We follow her down a landscaped path, me doing my Worldly Nikki routine—why, of course I get out of limos and go to expensive desert resorts all the time—and Jamie practically bouncing. “For the record,” she says as Helena opens the door and we get a glimpse of the inside of the bungalow, “I am totally in love with your boyfriend.”

Boyfriend. I grin. I like the sound of that.

The bungalow is small but exceptionally well-appointed, with two bedrooms, a kitchenette, a living room with a comfy couch and chairs, and a fireplace. But the best part is the back porch, which looks out on the mountains without any sign of the resort. “You will have dinner in your room, yes? And then tomorrow we begin at eight.”

I almost hesitate to ask, but I break down. “Begin what?”

Helena smiles. “Everything.”

We’re awakened by gentle alarm clocks at seven-thirty, and it’s surprisingly easy to wake up despite having stayed up late sipping wine and talking after the most amazing dinner of Chilean sea bass and some type of risotto. We mainline coffee, sip orange juice, and put on the spa robes that we’ve been told to wear today.

When our liaisons, Becky and Dana, arrive at our doorstep, we’re eager to see what’s in store for us. As it turns out, Helena wasn’t exaggerating. We start with dips in the mineral waters, then move inside for facials and waxing and—because Becky whispers to me that Mr. Stark requested it—I even submit to a little more intimate wax. Not Brazilian, because ouch, but by the time I leave the waxing room, I have a neat landing strip that looks more professional than the shaving and Nair job I’ve managed all these years. My legs are smooth, my brows are fabulously shaped, and we move on to our choice of mud baths or seaweed wraps.

I go with the mud, because my mother never allowed me to play in the mud as a kid, and the tubs are outside. Jamie does, too, and so we lay back in our squishy beds of mud with glasses of sparkling water in our hands and cool cucumbers on our eyes. We don’t talk—by this time we’re both limp and relaxed—but it’s amazing just soaking up the luxury. So much so that I almost moan in protest when they help us out, scraping the mud off us with things that look like miniature shower squeegees, and then lead us to another mineral spring, which relaxes us even more and cleans us off.

After that, a cold dip wakes us up again, and then Jamie and I are led inside for a delicious lunch. Afterward we get to sit side by side for manicures and pedicures.

The last official spa treatment for the day is a massage. After that, we’re told we can go back to our bungalow or look over the activity list. Everything from hiking to horseback riding to yoga to golf. Fresh clothes will be waiting for us. Linen slacks and tops courtesy of the resort.




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