I hated being in this city of suffering and death and I couldn't wait to be free from it. I'd expected some of the others to try and stay in the city with the expectation that there could still be survivors out there, or something useful for fighting back, but I was glad they were ready to go. We needed to get out of here before we were all killed, or before the desolation of this place wore us down completely.
"Let's go then," I said eagerly.
Cade slid his hand into mine and squeezed it as we made our way out of the deserted office building. I tilted my face back to take in the fading rays of the setting sun filtering around the buildings. Glass gleamed with rainbows of color that danced across the broken sidewalks and roadways. It should have been beautiful and breathtaking but it just reminded me of times forever lost to us.
I couldn't wait to see open sky and inhale air that wasn't tainted with the stench of death and blood again.
Cade's fingers were strong in mine as we hurried down the street to the small hotel we'd spent last night in. Though the street was desolate, there were still random things like shoes, purses, bikes and strollers left behind by those that had been taken. There was even a doll, missing an eye and soaked in blood, lying on the curb. Vehicles were parked on the side of the road but few congested the streets as driving had been banned shortly before The Freezing had occurred.
I could almost feel the life that had once flowed through here, the people that had once packed the restaurants, bars, museums and hair salons. Almost hear the laughter that had been forever silenced. Now, the once beautiful and proud city would forever be haunted by those who had been ruthlessly slaughtered here.
Chapter 2
I dug my heels in like a stubborn dog refusing to go back inside. My heart lurched and kicked as I swallowed heavily and forced myself to breathe. I could barely get any air into my chest as my lungs seemed determined not to work.
"Bethany." Cade's hands were firm on my upper arms as he held me. "Listen to me Bethy; you do not have to do this. We can find another way around."
"We'd have to double back..."
"You and me," Cade harshly interrupted Lloyd and silenced the Private with a withering glare that would have made men twice the size of Lloyd take a step back. I gave Lloyd credit for holding his ground, but he didn't speak again. "The two of us will find a way around."
"Be reasonable Cade," Darnell muttered.
Cade shot him a fulminating look as his jaw clenched and a muscle in his cheek jumped. I closed my eyes and grappled to regain control of my body. I hated this inner betrayal, hated this intense physical reaction that still had a hold over me. I opened my eyes to focus on Cade's face as he leaned closer to me. His breath was warm against my face, his hands strong on my arms as he rubbed them reassuringly. I knew he would go out of his way to avoid this tunnel for me if I asked him to.
"Listen..."
"That's enough Lloyd." This time it was Aiden who interrupted Lloyd as he stepped closer to us. He may not be exactly trusting of Cade and me right now but he wasn't going to force me into that tunnel either.
I took a deep breath. They would do this for me, they would both go around and then Abby, Bret, Jenna and possibly Molly would most likely follow. The group would become even more divided. That couldn't happen; it simply could not be allowed to happen. Our numbers were already small enough and I couldn't let them become even smaller simply because I was afraid.
Or what if they all decided to come with us and someone was lost? I couldn't take the chance of anyone being hurt because I couldn't shake the persistent phobia that had haunted me ever since I'd been trapped within the wreckage of that ruined vehicle with my dying father.
"I... I can do this," I choked out. I saw the doubt and hesitance in Cade's eyes and I gushed on before he could argue with me. "I can Cade. I made it through that pipe I can make it through this."
It was true I had made it through that pipe in the dump, barely. But the pipe had been smaller, it had stunk and been filled with slime, and those things had been right behind us. This tunnel was much larger with plenty of room to move about. I kept trying to focus on those thoughts, rather than thoughts of being stuck underground, trapped between those concrete walls and unable to see daylight or breathe fresh air. If I focused on those thoughts I would never make it inside.
"I'll be fine," I said, trying to believe it even when I didn't.
"Bethany once we get in there..."
"I know." I couldn't hear him say the words, I could think them, but I couldn't hear him say that there would be no return. "Don't."
His eyes were filled with unease but he grasped hold of my cheeks and kissed me ardently. My toes curled and for a second I was able to forget about the tunnel as he encompassed my entire world. "I'll get you through," he whispered when he pulled away.
I managed a feeble smile and a small nod. "I know."
His thumbs caressed my face as he studied me before turning away. He kept his strong fingers interlaced with mine as he quickly nodded to Aiden. Aiden hesitated before turning away and entering the gloomy tunnel. I kept my eyes on my feet as I became focused on the oversized sneakers I'd recently traded my old, holey pair for.
I was aware when we stepped into the tunnel as the air temperature dropped a good ten degrees and the smell brought forth memories of my damp cellar in the summertime. My heart rate accelerated but if I kept my gaze down I could almost pretend that I wasn't standing within a giant concrete tube with water flowing above me.
Cade directed me with subtle pulls and tugs on my hand as his body against mine moved me toward the left or right. It's not so bad, I told myself. It's just darker that's all, that's the only difference. My eyes weren't nearly as good as Cade's in the night, but they had improved over the past few months either from his blood or from the fact we were almost nocturnal now. Either way, I was able to pick out subtle differences in the asphalt I was focused upon.
"Lights." Darnell's whisper caused my head to instinctively come up. I immediately regretted the action. I brought my head back down, but not before the dim glow of the flashlights illuminated the walls around us. I was tempted to glance back at the front of the tunnel, I knew I would still be able to see the fading daylight, but I couldn't bring myself to move. It may be the last of the day I'd see for awhile, but I was too busy focusing on putting one foot in front of the other and not falling apart, to look back.
Coward, I ridiculed myself. Childish, broken, coward!
Tears brimmed in my eyes as I took a deep breath and forced my head up. The shadows that played over the walls gave the tunnel an even creepier feel that it did not need. Though there was no fog, there was an almost misty quality to the air that caused my skin to crawl and the air to shimmer oddly.