I almost shout back but I know he’ll do it. Whatever he’s going to do on the ground is going to hurt less than if he does it in the tree.
I take a breath and climb down. I’m ready with my bow when my feet get to the last branch. He doesn’t wait for me to touch the ground. His hand lashes out, grabbing my arm and dragging me from the last branch. He wraps himself around me. I can feel him shaking, but he doesn’t move. He just whispers into my neck, “You scared me.”
I don’t have a response. I was ready to shoot him or let Leo eat him or just live in the damn tree till he wasn’t mad anymore.
But he isn’t mad.
He’s loving in his twisted way. His huge body is wrapped around me, hugging me tight and bent over top of me for good measure. I can’t even breathe.
He pulls me back, giving me an intense look. I look down at his flashlight on the ground, shining off to the right, where suddenly Jack’s voice comes from, “Uhhh, Emma. Your friend.”
Will lets go of me and grabs the flashlight. He points it at Jack who is held against the tree by a still-silent Leo.
I whistle softly. Leo growls at him once and pushes away. He circles him and then trots to my side.
I rub my hands through his fur. He never attacked Will. I don’t know what that means. The man dragged me from a tree like a psycho and Leo let him.
Jack grins in the light, “That’s some wolf.”
I cross my arms, glaring at him, “What the hell, Jack?”
Will talks over top of us, “He has common sense. He wasn’t going to let you walk off alone, Emma.”
I give him a look, “I was just coming for supplies.”
He snorts, “I wasn’t born yesterday, Emma. I know why you came.”
I glance at Jack and turn away, “You two can go back.”
Will doesn’t grab my arm. He walks behind me though. My skin is tensed, waiting for it. I’m going to punch him in the balls if grabs me. My dad always said, never hit a man there unless you mean it. Well, I’m gonna mean it.
But he doesn’t grab me.
He follows me to the field.
Leo looks up at me. I nod. He slips into the field. I crouch, following him in. The strands of wheat scratch against me, I make the sound I always listen for when I’m hiding, the difference in the wind.
When I get to the other side I climb a tree and listen. The night is dark, except for a lantern I see coming across the field. Jack seemed smarter than to use a lantern. I sigh and climb down but Jack is at the bottom of the tree next to me with Will and Leo. I pull an arrow, “Someone’s behind us.”
Will gives me a look that I’m glad I can barely see in the dark, “That’s Jake, Anna, and Bernie. Oh—and Star.”
I sigh again, “Well, shit.”
I turn and start my angry hike to the bad camp where I am going to murder Marshall, if he happens to be there. If he’s not, I’m going to hunt him to the ends of the earth. I blame him for Anna’s sickness. I blame him as much as anyone, including myself.
“Why you doing this now? We had a plan and a team.”
I ignore him and continue up the hill. Fingers bite into my arm as I swing around, ready for a fight. Instead of him, I see Anna’s angry, sweaty face. My anger falls away when she looks at me and whispers, “You bitch. You left me. You swore you would never leave me and you did.”
I swallow and shake my head, “I can't risk you getting hurt, not again.”
She slaps me hard and shoves me back. Her whispers get lost in the ringing in my ears. I take the minute I need to stop the rage. Everyone is tense, waiting for me to react. I growl and shove her back, “I can't hear you when you get mad.”
She swings for me but Will grabs her; she kicks at me. I start to laugh, “We’re gonna get eaten by something at this rate. We aren’t going to find Marshall if we die.” I look at Leo, he’s panting next to Jake like he’s watching us fight for sport. He just let Anna hit me.
Anna points at me and whispers something else I don’t get. I don’t really need to, I can tell it isn’t good.
Will translates, “She said if you take off again, she’s gonna break your legs.”
I shout at them all, “Fine, but when Jake gets us killed, or Will sleeps with the wrong man’s daughter, or Bernie snivels about the hiking, don’t say I didn’t try to keep you outta this.” I turn and start back up the hill, “Assholes.”
Leo nudges me. I don’t even run my fingers through his fur. I look down and mutter, “Don’t suck up. You’re on the shit list too.” It was one of Granny’s favorite sayings. I get it now. I imagine she’s laughing in heaven. “None of you all listen.”
I grip my bow and my pulled arrow and hike harder than I should. I know the pace I can sustain for a twelve-hour hike. This isn’t it.
My legs are burning when the sun comes up. I hear Bernie start to complain but Anna shuts him up. I grin and push my legs harder. It’s a stubborn, asshole thing to do, but I guess that’s my role—the loner who makes everyone miserable.
We get to the guards in the trees without even taking a break or sleeping overnight, like we normally do when we hike this same trail. The midday sun is burning the flesh right off of me. I don’t like to hike midday. I dehydrate and my face burns sometimes still. The first years were the worst. My skin lightens and darkens, depending on the season, so much I can look like a different person.
Will passes me, waving and whistling to the guys in the trees. He's pretty much still gasping for air.
“Hey, Will!” The guard sounds cheerful.
It’s weird. I don’t know what to expect but I’m nervous. I pull an arrow and walk close to Will. I hate the way he makes me feel safer.
The camp is quiet. The people seem more relaxed. It was bustling with life and maybe a type of anger before. Now it’s as if they’re on holidays.
The word brings memories with it.
I remember summer holidays. I would put my hand out the window of the car when Granny was driving us to the beach. The sun and the wispy clouds would blow across the sky. I remember the smell of suntan lotion and the feel of salt and sand in my butt crack. I hated that feeling but Granny had a thing for burying people in the sand. The feeling of the cold sand wrapped around me like I was a mummy made me feel safe, like I do when Will wraps around me.
“Where is everyone?” I ask, turning in a circle.
Will growls back at me, “Not everyone is able to run a marathon in hundred-degree weather, Em. The camps slow in the summer. The assaults slow too. We don’t hike long and hard. We stay low, same as the harsh, winter months. We head for the winter camp and bunk down in the houses there.”
I can't believe I never thought about the fact they couldn’t possibly live in the tents in the winter, not the way it is now.
I start to feel bad when I notice the burn on his face and annoyance he’s trying to temper.
I glance back at everyone else. Jake and Anna don’t hide their fury. Bernie gives me a weak look and Leo pants like I’ve never seen before.
I realize I bullied them. I made them feel weak. The feelings inside of me are bad. Only Star looks like me, slightly burnt but not dying. The rest look like they might melt any second. Jack struggles for breath but winks at me. I don’t know what that means but he laughs at my confused look.
Leo walks past me for the rain barrels. I follow him, but they’re dry. A slight panic starts to hit me. I need water and my pack is back at the retreat. I have what water they brought and we found along the way. I’m thirsty.
Will comes back with leathers of water. He hands me one. I feel bad. Somehow I’m always the bad guy with him. Everyone sucks from the leathers like there’s no tomorrow. I share mine with Leo.
“Hey, don’t give that dog that water. He can find his own or drink with the livestock,” someone shouts at me. I glance up to an angry man coming towards me.
He points at Leo.
No one points at Leo.
The man gets close to Leo, and maybe it’s the dehydration, or the exhaustion, or the fact I hate myself, but I punch him in the cheek hard when he reaches for the leather of water. My hand makes a cracking noise because of the angle and the fact I wasn’t really ready to smack someone around. Will has me in the air, giving me a good swing with my boot. I connect with the guy’s arm, sending him flailing back on the yellow, crispy grass.
Will wraps around me and Leo stands between the man and me. His back hair stands up. Jake runs to us, “That’s not a dog. He’s family.”
Bernie follows, “He’s our family.”
The guy wipes blood from his lip, “Crazy bitch.”
I try to free myself but I don’t have to. I get a blur of something as the man goes down. Anna’s arm comes up. Bernie grabs her, pulling her off the man. She’s whispering and kicking like a ferocious animal.
I snarl after the man, “He’s not a dog, idiot.”
Jake is laughing so hard, he can barely get his breath when he lifts the guy up, “Run…just run…” He laughs harder.
I smile when I see the way his dark face is scrunched in the laugh. He holds his stomach and shakes his head. I feel a vibration behind me, Will is laughing too.
The people in the camp are looking at us from their tents and the forest. The few people here are confused, but the group of us ignores them and all laugh. Anna’s is a high-pitch wheeze. I shove Will away as the guy flees for his life and wrap an arm around Anna and kiss her cheek. She hugs me back.
“I’m sorry I doubted you,” I mutter.
She shakes her head, “I know you meant to keep us safe. But we need to do that for you too.”
I could cry; I love her so much. I don’t know if there is enough room in my heart for the things I feel. I don’t think it’s the right kind of heart. I think it’s a mutant heart.
I look at my knuckles and wince. One of them looks funny, kinked maybe. Looking at it brings on the pain.
Anna follows my gaze and makes a face, “Is that broken?”