"Yes," I snap, feeling a bit like an exotic, misunderstood animal. In addition to the hot water bottle, I've been packed off to bed with some strong tea and a tiny bit of brandy, compliments of Mrs. Nightwing, who insisted that in this case the brandy was medicinal and not licentious. The tea has gone cold and bitter. But the brandy is soothing. It dulls the pulsing throb in my belly. I have never felt more ridiculous. If this is what it means to be a woman I am not the slightest bit interested.
"Poor Gemma," Ann says, patting my hand. "In public, no less. How embarrassing for you."
I could not be more humiliated than I am now. "If I may be so bold, may I ask, when did you commence with . . . ?" I trail off.
Felicity moves to my table, where she examines my things. She runs my brush through her white-blond hair. "Years ago."
Of course she did. How silly of me to ask. I look to Ann, who blushes the color of a radish instantly.
"Oh, I, we sh-sh-shouldn't t-t-talk of such things."
"Quite right," I say, fingering the edge of my bed linen with great care.
"She's probably not yet a woman," Felicity says coolly.
Ann is up in protest."I am! For six months now!"
"Six months! There you are. She's practically an expert on the subject."
I try to get out of bed, but Ann pushes me back down. "Oh, no. You mustn't move about. It isn't good for you in your present state."
"But . . . how am I to go about my life?"
"You simply have to endure this. It's our punishment as daughters of Eve. Why do you think they call it the curse?"
A low rumble pulls across my stomach, making me feel heavy and irritable."Really? And what curse befalls the Adams of the world?"
Ann opens her mouth and, presumably thinking of nothing to say, closes it again. It is Felicity who answers, her eyes steely. "They are weak to temptation. And we are their temptresses."
The word temptation conjures Kartik in my mind. Kartik and warnings. The magic loose in the realms. The Temple.
"There's something I need to tell you," I begin. I tell them about Kartik's visit, about my task and the strange vision I saw during the pantomime. When I finish, they are wide-eyed.
"I've gooseflesh. Just think of it, all that magic loose for anyone to use," Felicity says. I cannot say whether she is frightened or thrilled at this prospect.
Ann's troubled."But how can you find the Temple when you can't enter the realms?"
I'd forgotten my lie. There is no way around it now. I shall have to confess. I pull the linens to my neck, make myself small in the bed. "The truth is, I haven't actually tried to enter. Not since Pippa."
Felicity's glare could shatter glass."You lied to us."
"Yes, I know. I'm sorry. I wasn't ready."
"You could have said as much," Ann mutters, hurt.
"I am sorry. I thought it best."
Felicity's gray eyes are like the sharpest flint."Do not lie to us again, Gemma. It will be a betrayal of the Order."
I don't like the way she says this, but I'm in no mood to argue now. I nod and reach for the brandy.
"When shall we go into the realms?" Ann asks.
"Shall we meet at midnight?" Felicity half begs."Oh, I cannot wait to see it all again!"
"I'm in no condition tonight," I say. They can hardly argue with that.
"Very well, then," Felicity says, sighing."Rest."
"What is it?" Ann asks, reading my expression. "It's probably nothing, really. I was just thinking that the last thing I remember before falling under was Miss McCleethy's face. She was looking at me in the most curious way, as if she knew all my secrets."
A devilish grin lights up Felicity's full mouth."You mean the fairrr but exacting Miss McCleethy," she says, imitating our new teacher's strange brogue. This makes me laugh in spite of everything.
"If she's an old friend of Nightwing's, she's doubtless a hideous prig who will make our lives a misery," I say, still giggling.
"I am glad to see that you seem in better spirits, Miss Doyle." It's Miss McCleethy herself at my door. My heart falls through the floor of my stomach. Oh, no. How long has she been standing there?
"I'm feeling much better, thank you," I say in a squeak of a voice.
I am almost certain she's overheard everything, for she holds my gaze a moment too long, till I'm forced to look away, and then she says simply, without any enthusiasm,"Well, I am glad to hear it. You should take some exercise. Exercise is the key. Tomorrow I shall take all my girls out to the lawn for archery."