“I’m going outside with you, Valdez.” Richard took the leash from Lacy. “Ladies, I’ll be back shortly. Lock the door behind me.” He was out the door before any of us had time to react.
“Bossy, isn’t he?” Lacy did throw the dead bolts before she picked up a navy Prada clutch. “Can I borrow this before you sell it, Glory?” She smiled at Flo. “You have amazing taste.”
“Thanks.” Flo gave a shrug. “And yes, he’s bossy. Just one reason why we didn’t work as a couple.” Her shoulders sagged for a moment, then she visibly pulled herself together. “I’m meeting my new lover later. I’ve been seeing him for a while now. He reminds me of a prince I once knew in Budapest. So handsome, so caring. And he puts my needs first. Compared to him, Richard is a . . .” She glanced around, then grinned. “Toad!”
“Huh?” Lacy looked lost, but I saw what Flo had seen. One of my well-meaning friends had left a box of clothes earlier in the evening. On top was an unfortunate pair of bright green flannel pajamas with frogs and toads leaping from lily pad to lily pad. Need I mention that said friend, a female vampire, had absolutely no social life? She was a project just waiting to be tackled. As soon as I got the shop going again, I was going to see about hooking her up. Maybe Richard . . . Flo laughed. “I’m reading your mind, roomie. By all means set Richard up with toad girl. They will be like two pods in a pea.”
“Peas in a pod.” I grinned but couldn’t keep it going. The nagging thought that Westwood could have paranormals on his payroll was deeply disturbing for so many reasons. One: Fighting humans was easy compared to combating the bag of tricks a shape shifter or vamp could whip out. Two: A paranormal who would work for a known vamp hunter had no limits when it came to dirty deeds. Three? Well, two were more than enough for me.
Will paced in front of the windows, obviously agitated by the thought that Valdez could be getting action while he was on inside guard duty. I went back to sorting through Flo’s fabulous castoffs. My customers would go nuts for these. I happily pushed the whole danger issue to the back of my mind.
I offered to pay Flo for her things, but she acted so insulted that I might think she needed money, that I quickly gave up. She and Lacy got into a debate over my back wall. I liked the plain, but clean digs. Flo obviously thought the wall needed something. Me, I just needed to reopen before I reached my credit limit. I mentally composed a flyer and decided to get the shop open by next week, come hell or high water. As for the hell . . . What if the freak -a-zoid stalking me created a disturbance and ran off my customers? Or worse, if he or she (women’s lib, you know) caught me alone in the shop one night . . . And what was the deal about getting me to take off my clothes? I may have had my wild and free days, but stripping for strangers was not going to happen again. A memory, just a wisp, nagged at me. If I could just grab on to it. Who or what—
Will woofed and Lacy opened the door. The boys were back and the two dogs immediately began arguing again. Why was I worrying about being alone? I was never alone. Alone might actually be a real treat.
" Hey, Glory. We’ve got a present for you.” Valdez pushed Will out of the way. “Out back.”
Richard unclipped Valdez’s leash and grinned. “He’s right. Open the back door.” This was the third night in a row Richard had shown up and taken one or both dogs out for guard duty.
“Be careful out there. Do you need us?” Flo gave me a concerned look.
“She won’t be in danger, Florence.” Richard lost his smile. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“Whatever.” Flo shrugged, then grabbed Lacy’s arm and dragged her to the other side of the shop where she’d started a secret project. She’d even hung a sheet from the ceiling so I couldn’t see what she was up to. I didn’t push to find out either. I was glad for the company.
“Are you coming?” Richard threw open the back door.
“Sure. What’s up?” Will was right behind me. I looked out and saw that for a change the security lights were working. My Suburban, its brown a mud color that was supposed to keep the dirt from showing, sat in my usual spot. A man stood beside it. The man wasn’t moving, except his eyes. They darted back and forth.
I walked closer and stared into those hyper eyes. Hmm.
“Westwood sent him.” Richard sent both dogs to sit by the back door. He bent down and picked up a pair of tinted glasses.
“Valdez caught him skulking back here and took him down.”
“Wow. I guess I owe that pup a ribeye.” The man was a muscle bound type who was thinking in a panic.
“Vampires. Blood suckers. I’m cooked. Not worth it. Help. Help. Holy shit, I can’t move. Not even my little finger. What are they doing to me?”
“Poor baby. What were you doing out here by my car?” I squeezed the guy’s chin. He needed a shave and not in that cool way that makes a guy look edgy and macho. This one just looked scruffy. My touch sent him into hyperdrive.
“Slash tires, key it, a little sugar in the gas tank. A few harmless hassles. I swear it. Let me go. Let me go. Oh, shit, why can’t I talk? She’s a hot chick, nice knockers, but look at those fangs. Is it gonna hurt? Maybe she’ll have sex with me—”
The creep wobbled on his feet when I shoved him, but didn’t go over.
“Harmless hassles?” All I could see were dollar signs and being on foot. Not cool in Austin. There ’s great public transit, but I don’t think I’d be welcome with two dogs, especially dogs prepared to knock the tinted glasses off anyone who had a vision problem.
“Do what you wish, Gloriana. Though I doubt you’d want to take his blood.” Mainwaring was close to me and I could feel his warmth at my back. “He’s right about one thing. You’re a hot chick.”“You’re wise not to mention my ‘knockers,’ Richard, but your timing sucks. I’m not exactly in the mood for a flirtation which is probably all about making Flo jealous.” Okay, maybe men did go for the too tight jeans and snug green T-shirt, both dried on high heat at Blade’s. Blade. Hmm. I missed him, but kind of liked Richard ’s flirting. Did that make me a slut? Again? Historically, I never went long without some kind of action except for some lean years mid-nineteenth century. But that’s another story. Yeah, slut was pretty accurate.
“Now what delicious torture should I use to punish Westwood’s thug?” I stared into the man’s still frantic eyes. “What’s your name? Talk to me.”
“Mitch. Mitch Ellison.”
“Listen to me, Mitch. You will not hurt my car. You will not hurt my shop and you will definitely never have sex with me. Probably not with anyone.” I looked down at his pants. “Your dick is on fire.”
“Aw, Christ!” The man began clawing at his zipper, tears ran down his cheeks and he fell to the concrete. “The pain! Stop it. Please.”
“This is fun.” Richard’s breath stirred my hair. “I hope this isn’t how you feel about all . . . dicks.”
I ignored him. “Oops. Sorry, Mitch, but your peter just fell off and rolled under the car.”
The man shrieked and scrambled around frantically until all we could see were his brown loafers sticking out from the side of the car, kicking at the concrete.
“I can almost feel sorry for the bastard.” Richard didn’t sound sorry.
I watched the loafers disappear as the wailing reached a fever pitch.
“Where is it? I can’t find it. Oh, God.” Loud sobs.
“This isn’t as much fun as I thought it would be.” I leaned down just as one arm reached out to slap at the ground. Will and Valdez were laughing their furry butts off. For some reason this irritated the hell out of me.
“Inside, both of you.” I strode to the back door and threw it open.
“Aw, Glory, this is just getting good.” Will bumped against me.
“Come on, Kilpatrick, let her do her thing.” Valdez looked at Richard. “Stay with her.”
Richard nodded and I slammed the door. I turned to finish things. Mitch’s whining was getting to me.
“Come out now, Mitch. I found your teeny weenie. I’ll give it back if you show me some respect.”
The man slid out and jumped up. “Yes, ma’am.” He was shaking and tears ran down his cheeks. “Please, please give back my cock. I’ll do anything. Anything.”
I looked at Richard but he just raised that damned eyebrow. Like this was my party, my call.
“Mitch, you will never work for Brent Westwood again. You will leave Austin and you will know that vampires don ’t exist. Westwood made up the whole thing. He’s crazy.”
“Yes, ma’am.” The man held out his shaking hand. “Please. Have pity. My wife—”
“Stop whining.” The cheating lowlife had a wife. “You will be a wonderful, loving, faithful husband. You will treat your wife like a queen and do whatever she asks as soon as she asks it.”
Richard chuckled and put his hand on my back. “You want me to finish this?”
“I’m handling it.” I grabbed the man’s chin again. “Listen to me, Mitch. You will turn over the remote control to your wife. You will watch whatever she wants and never complain.”
“Now you’re just being cruel.” Richard walked around me and patted the pockets on the man’s khakis. “Ah. I think you could use this.” He pulled out a wad of bills and began peeling off hundreds. “You can even use it to pay off your debt to me.”
Visions of financial freedom brought a lump to my throat. I couldn ’t feel bad about taking Westwood’s blood money. Blood. The dickless wonder here reeked of B positive. I licked my lips but decided to let the urge pass. Biting this creep would put me way closer to him than I wanted to be. If he’d been a more exotic type . . . Hey, I’m a blood-sucking vampire and don’t you forget it.