“I want you,” Q murmured, his fingers already working my blouse buttons. Everything jolted to life. I leaned into him, rubbing my ni**les against his knuckles.
He sucked in a breath, pushing aside the material to cup my bra-covered breast.
My hands went to his bare chest, inching down to his belt. He waited while I undid the buckle, pulling the leather free. His chest rose and fell as I held the leather in my hands.
His tension, awareness all sprang to high alert, and I saw the man I’d thought I’d killed when I whipped him to an inch of his life.
Q, my master, wanted to use his belt. And I wanted him to.
With a wistful plea in my eyes and love exploding in my heart, I presented the belt with outstretched hands.
Chapter 25
I long to see your creamy skin blush, welted and marked gives me a rush, I can’t contain him, you set me free…
I didn’t know how long I stared at Tess.
She stood there, holding my belt, giving it to me with such trust in her eyes that the last of the horrible confusion I’d been living with unravelled.
The old me. The me I knew and thought I’d lost forever, roared back into being. After weeks of living with such crippling disorientation, I thought I’d forever be doomed to live monsterless and alone.
The dark urges inside had gone, taking with it everything I knew. It was as if the beast had left me to wallow in pitiful loneliness.
I snatched the belt from her. Shuddering, I ran the leather through my fingers. The blackness swirled into being, bringing with it growls and bestial callings. I should’ve been glad they’d left me alone. But I found I missed it. I missed knowing who I was. I wasn’t meant to be normal. I wasn’t meant to be…human.
Tess shifted, her br**sts rising. I swallowed hard against thick desire.
For three weeks, I’d avoided all thoughts of sex. I couldn’t stand the thought of being close to Tess when I no longer knew myself. I lost something fundamental when Tess stole my dignity, my control, my dominance.
Tess damaged me, and I spent three weeks trying to fix myself.
But not dealing with the monster’s urges allowed me to grow closer to Tess than I’d ever thought possible. I was able to comfort her without needing to squeeze too hard, or let her laugh without having to throw her to the ground and f**k her.
With the absence of those needs, I grew to see myself in a different light. I saw that I could be sweet—amazing to contemplate—and I could do it without cutting off my balls.
I gave Tess space to heal, and she changed from delicate patient to strong survivor. Day by day her passion and spirit came back, and each moment that she grew stronger, my beast inched out of its cave, returning to me, slightly fearful, slightly unwilling.
My eyes fell to the bandage hiding the brand I gave her, and my gut twisted in pleasure. I’d finally figured out how to keep both the man and the monster happy, and it seemed to be working. Just knowing Tess had a clear signal that she belonged to me helped soothe the urges to cut and make her bleed. It took away the overwhelming need, letting me breathe easier, letting me be tamed.
From here on out, I would make the sole purpose of my life to acquire new memories, happy memories, bury the past, and hoard every happiness Tess and I could find.
Tess panted harder as I looped the belt in my hands, snapping the leather. I glanced at her, my c**k thickening fast in my jeans. “Are you sure?”
Once upon a time, I wouldn’t have given her the choice. I wouldn’t have cared what her answer would’ve been; I would’ve done it anyway. But now, her permission meant more to me than taking. Her submission fed the beast more than her fight.
We broke each other, and the only way to stay whole was to entwine ourselves, gluing the jagged parts, stitching our souls into one.
She nodded.
That was all I needed. Grabbing the back of her neck, I jerked her close and kissed her. I kissed her with every f**king thing I felt. The thankfulness for letting me mark her, and the relief at finally feeling like myself again.
She clawed at my chest, bringing me closer. I pressed harder, letting her feel how much I needed her.
Moaning, she hitched her leg up, hooking it precariously on my hip. I grabbed her knee, hoisting her higher, encouraging her to wrap both legs around my hips.
The moment she held me hostage between her legs, she rode me, pressing her delicious, tempting heat against my cock.
I stopped kissing her to drop my head and bite her neck—the side I hadn’t branded.
“Q. Please. I need you.”
I had plans for this to be slow and intense, but the urge to connect grabbed me by surprise. I need to be inside her. Now.
Unlatching her legs, I tossed her on the bed and yanked on her trouser button. It popped open, and she wiggled frantically as I tugged them down her legs. Tess shrugged out of her shirt, tossing it off the bed.
I gawked at her.
She wore simple virgin white underwear. Her body was undernourished compared to her curves from before, but her survivability knocked me to my f**king knees.
Climbing onto the bed, the chains holding the mattress swung, sending us rocking and swaying. Tess looked up to the canopy, and I took her moment of distraction to bend down and latch my mouth over her pu**y.
Her h*ps bucked the moment my hot breath connected on her flesh. Crying out, she dove fingers through my hair, imprisoning me, pressing hard, demanding.
Her command did two things to me. Before, being told what to do would’ve just pissed me off. Now, I wanted to obey her—to please her and do whatever she f**king asked. The beast still growled and grumbled, needing to make her apologise for bossing me around, but I was able to ignore it. For the first time in my life, I had balance.
Sitting up, I ripped her knickers off and settled below again. Her taste filled my very f**king soul as I licked her long and slow.
“Q. Goddammit, more. More!”
I chuckled as Tess cursed and moaned. Relishing in bringing her pleasure, f**king her with my tongue, dragging out every inch of wetness and need.
My c**k ached with come. I hadn’t touched myself since the last time I’d been in Tess. I hadn’t had the urge.
But now I did. Fuck, how I did.
With one last sweeping lick, I sat up, ridding myself of my jeans and boxer-briefs in one swipe. I wanted to tie Tess up and use all sorts of toys on her. I wanted to make her come over and over again, but the urgency gripped my balls and all I could think about was diving deep inside her.
“Get up,” I ordered, sitting on my knees, the belt still in my hand.
Tess instantly obeyed and I growled with pleasure. The moment she was upright, I pointed at my cock. “Sit on it.”
Her lips parted and she hesitated. My hand twitched with the belt; I let the beast take control just for a second. I struck her thigh with the leather, falling in love with her all over again when she flinched then shivered with pleasure.
“Sit on me now, Tess. Or I’ll hit you until you do.”
She bowed her head, sending curls over her face. “I want to taste you. Like you did for me.”
The thought of her lips around my c**k was too much. I still hadn’t forgiven her for making me come so violently before. Shaking my head, I hauled her upright, straddling her over my thighs.
“Not today.”
Her eyes snapped closed as I pushed her down. Her wet folds connected with my hot cock, sinking deeper, hugging me with all that delicious f**king darkness.
I groaned as she slid lower. My c**k swelled with the urge to jet into her already.
The moment she’d fully impaled herself, I flicked my wrist and struck her lower back with the belt.
She gasped as her inner muscles gripped me deep inside.
“Shit, do that again,” I growled, smacking her with the leather.
The same reaction—the instant the belt connected with her skin, she clenched hard around me, milking me with strong muscles.
I thrust up once and Tess f**king detonated. Her hands wrapped deep in my hair as she pushed up and down, f**king me as she rippled, shuddered, unravelled.
Her pleasure almost made me lose it. I gritted my teeth, fighting off the urge.
The moment she stopped coming, I ripped the bandage off her neck. She winced but I muttered, “Just let me see while I make love to you. Let me know you’re mine.”
She nodded, twitching in aftershocks around my cock.
“I’m going to take you hard. I’ve missed you so f**king much.” I looked deep into her eyes. “You should’ve waited for me to come. Now I’ll have to make you release all over again.”
Her lips parted; she trembled as I thrust upward.
“Goddammit, you feel good.” My eyes latched onto her neck and I purred. I f**king purred in pleasure, seeing my mark seared into her skin.
Tess’s fingers fumbled with the bandage over my heart and I loved the flash of possession in her eyes when she looked at the brand.
“You’re mine,” she whispered. Her cunt clenched harder around me and I struggled for breath.
“Les uns des autres.” Each other’s. Holding her hip in one hand, I struck her with the belt as I thrust upward. Not too hard, but not too soft either.
“Pain and pleasure, Tess. Remember.”
Her eyes fluttered shut as I invoked a rhythm: thrust, strike, thrust, strike. She moaned with every rock, grabbing my balls, building my orgasm until it radiated in every part of me.
My heart raced and I loved the tingling aching sensation of needing to orgasm. When I couldn’t keep up the rhythm anymore, I threw the belt away, and gathered Tess closer. Her br**sts squashed against my chest, irritating the fresh burn over my heart. The combination of pleasure and pain undid me.
My speed increased until Tess bounced in my arms. My eyes locked on her neck. The red, angry ‘Q’ forever seared into her skin gave me the release I’d been looking for.
This perfect woman was all f**king mine. And now everyone would know it.
My orgasm detonated, bursting in thick waves, filling her with every stroke. My eyes rolled backward as I existed only to come deep inside her. “Fuck, esclave. Take it. Take all of it.”
Tess cried out as I stroked her clit. Her second orgasm exploded into reality, the bands of muscles squeezed every last drop I had left, milking me until I flopped in her arms.
My thighs quivered from thrusting up and I had pins and needles in my calves, but I didn’t give a rat’s ass as my c**k was deep in the woman I adored and my come was smeared all over her.
Tess leaned forward, kissing me ever so sweetly. “I love you, Quincy.”
My back tensed. Normally, I hated my full name. It was my father’s. A name I wanted to forget forever, but in that moment, I loved it. I loved that Tess loved me. I loved that Tess accepted me.
I loved her with everything I was.
“Je t'aime,” I whispered, kissing her back.
*****
Hours later, I woke to Tess whimpering in my arms. Her nightmares hadn’t diminished, and every night she woke me with her screams, stabbing a dagger into my heart. I wanted to enter her dreams and slay every last bastard torturing her.
Kissing her forehead, I murmured, “Tu es en sécurité. Avec moi.” You’re safe. With me.
When she quieted, I gathered her closer. Pushing my hand beneath her pillow, I tried to grab the item I’d hidden there a few days ago. When I’d designed the poker brands, I knew if Tess let me mark her with such a permanent thing, I would go one step further to seal her to me.
Ever since I made the decision, my headaches had been miraculously absent. Almost as if the stress I’d lived with melted away, letting me know I’d made the right choice. The only choice.
No longer would I wait to merge my life with hers. There was no way I would let her go, and it was time the rest of the world knew that.
Tess mumbled, eyes opening sleepily. “What are you doing?”
The soft twilight highlighted her grey-blue eyes, glimmering gold in her blonde hair. I wished I had a camera to capture her sleep-warmed and lazy beauty. She looked so fragile and I embraced two urges: one that wanted to see just how fragile she was with the use of a whip, and one who wanted to wrap her in bubble wrap and cover her with kisses.
My hand latched around the small thing hidden under the pillow and I sat up, pulling Tess with me.
The sheet fell away from her, exposing her perfect br**sts and pink ni**les. My c**k instantly hardened. I had to look away before I pounced and forgot what I needed to do.
Tess yawned, fluffing her hair.
Nerves attacked my stomach, making me second-guess myself. You’re doing the right thing. Man the f**k up.
“I have another gift for you.”
Her eyes dropped to the tented sheet between my legs. Licking her lips, she murmured, “A second gift would be nice.”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “No, you little sex fiend, my c**k is not on offer.”
She pouted, reaching over to grab me.
A slight thread of temper filled me and I slapped her hand away. Goddammit, she wasn’t making this easy.
I rolled the gift in my fingers, keeping it away from her sight. “I need you to wear this as much as I needed to brand you. Compris?” Understand?
She frowned, but nodded slowly.
It’s now or never.
I unclenched my fist, shoving my hand toward her. Resting in my palm was a ring I’d painstakingly sketched and ordered the local jeweller to create.
It represented everything I was. Everything that we were. Everything that I hoped we’d become.
The same day I went to pick up the finished product, I bought a pair of lovebirds. The lucky things had the entire aviary to themselves, but I planned to add more as I returned to work, doing what I did best.
Tess shied away from the ring as if it was about to bite her. My forehead furrowed as I plucked it in my fingertips and inspected the jewellers work. He’d got it perfect: two spanning wings, bending into a circlet. Every feather hand-carved with exquisite detailing, inlaid with diamonds. The gold band was extra thick, to allow for—