“Why?” Logan asks.
“Guilt.”
“For what?” This time, it’s Pete.
“He didn’t leave,” I blurt out. “I kicked him out.”
“We know,” Sam says. They all look at one another. “We’ve always known.”
“What?” I jump to my feet. “How the f**k did you know?”
“Sam was home that day,” Matt says. “He skipped school, and he was hiding in the closet. He heard the whole thing.”
“You knew.”
“Yes,” Sam says.
“You always knew.”
“Yes,” he repeats.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean to get him killed.”
They look at one another. Finally Matt speaks up. “Just how do you think you killed him?”
“I threw him out. Then he died. If I hadn’t tossed him out, he might still be alive.”
“Fate’s a fickle bitch,” Matt says. “If anyone knows that, it’s me.”
“You don’t honestly think you have enough power to cause the fates to take him out. You’re not quite that awesome,” Logan says. He laughs.
“But—”
“But nothing,” Matt says. “You didn’t cause it. That’s the end of it.”
“You’re not mad at me?”
They all get up and wrap their arms around me. They squeeze and jostle me around until I laugh and cry out, “That’s enough.”
They step back, but they’re never far away. I know that.
“I’m going to have Dad buried beside Mom,” I say.
“Let’s plan a service and everything,” Matt says.“Okay.” I smile. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders.
My brothers and Emily, Sky, and Reagan leave. But as the three girls are walking out the door, I hear Friday ask them, “Wait, where’s Kelly?”
Emily snorts. “We threw the bitch out. She was walking around like she owned the place wearing one of Paul’s shirts. Fuck that.”
Friday high-fives them both, and I have to shake my head at their antics. And at the fact that Kelly lingered instead of taking Hayley home with her immediately.
Friday tangles her fingers with mine and pulls me toward the bedroom.
But just as we’re settling into bed, the door opens and Hayley jumps in the middle. “The sun is shining,” she says.
“No, it’s not,” I tell her. “Go back to sleep.” She snuggles between us and gets comfortable. Friday reaches a hand toward me, and I flip her palm up and lay my cheek on it.
I love you, she mouths at me.
“I love you, too,” I say out loud.
“Me, too?” Hayley asks.
“You, too,” I say. I kiss her cheek and snuggle into Friday’s palm.
I’m in.
Quite some time later
Friday
The apartment is so full that we can barely move. All of Paul’s brothers are here and their wives and girlfriends. Cody and Garrett are here, too, along with their baby girl, Tuesday. Hayley and Joey are fighting over who gets to play with her first. But Matt says, “There are enough babies to go around.” He points to his own. One is little Matty, his son, and the other is Hope, his daughter. They call her Hoppy most of the time because she’s much more active than Matty is. Matty and Hoppy are almost eighteen months old, so they’re into everything.
We’re all together to watch an episode of “Reeds,” the new reality show based on life in the tattoo parlor. We’ve seen a few episodes, and this is the one when Tuesday was born. She’s exactly one year old today, so this was filmed a while ago.
I already know that this is going to bring up a shit ton of memories for me, so I have a box of tissues ready. And I have Paul. I always have Paul, no matter what.
A knock sounds on the door, and the members from Fallen from Zero, Emily’s band, walk in. They’re in this episode, too, since I just happened to be watching them all record when I went into labor.
Fallen from Zero is an odd group of women. The only thing they have in common is that they all grew up in the same foster home. Emilio and Marta Vasquez took the kids from group homes who no one else wanted. They took the ones who had the most damage and the most to work through, and they tried to help them. They couldn’t help everyone, but they did help a lot of people.
Sam opens the door and steps back to let them in. I watch as his eyes fall on the drummer’s ass. He bites his lower lip and makes a noise, and Logan punches his shoulder. Cut it out, Logan signs.
Sam signs back to him. Damn, Logan. That one’s got a swing on her back porch that I could swing on all day long, he signs.
Dude, shut up, Logan says, his hands flying wildly.
I know, I know, Sam signs. It’s rude to sign in front of people who don’t know what we’re saying, but did you see her thighs? I want her to wrap them around me. He draws an hourglass figure in the air with his hands. Introduce me, he says. She’s got enough ass to hold on to. I bet she’d like a cupcake. He shoves Logan’s shoulder again. I want to meet her. He points like he wants Logan to get her attention. Please. He puts his hands together like he’s pleading.
I watch all this from the couch, and it’s like watching a train wreck. Sam hasn’t met these girls yet, not any of them, but the rest of us know them pretty well. We know that Peck, the girl who has gotten his attention, is not someone he should f**k with.