“No.” I don’t even need to think about it.
His brow furrows. “Why not?”
“I’m not mother material.”
“Fuck that,” he says.
“Fuck you,” I say back.
He grins. “I wish you would,” he whispers, and then he kisses me quickly.
I shove his shoulder. “Shut up.”
He lifts my arms and wraps them around his neck, and then he kisses me. He kisses me in the middle of a crowded subway car with people all around us—again—but I feel like we’re the only two people in the world.
His phone dings, and he pulls it out of his pocket. He grins and shows me the picture. “First spit up,” he says.
Paul
I know it sounds crazy, and this is totally the wrong time to have thoughts like I’m having, but I want to be an ultrasound wand. I try to look at Friday’s face as the technician rolls a sheath over the long wand and then puts lube all over it, but it’s damn hard not to watch the movements because that stick is about to get all intimate with Friday.
We went home really quickly so she could shower, and we were almost late getting to the doctor’s office. Cody and Garrett were pacing the sidewalk as we walked up.
Now they’re waiting in the next room while the ultrasound people get Friday ready. The pregnancy test was positive, just like I knew it would be. They’re going to do a quick check for a heartbeat, just in case there is one to be seen. They might not be able to find it yet. We’ll have to wait and see.
“I’m up here,” Friday says as I watch the wand. She laughs. But her hand shakes when I take it in mine.
“I’m jealous of that wand,” I whisper in her ear.
She shivers, but I can’t tell if it’s a sexy shiver or if she’s so f**king nervous that her skin is jostling.
The technician warns us that she’s about to insert the wand.
“Close your eyes or something, Paul,” Friday says, her cheeks growing rosy.
I turn so that my back is to her lower half, and I look at the wall for a minute.
“All set,” the technician says. “Should I let the dads in?” She looks at Friday and then at me with a curious expression.
“You could just get a picture for them,” I suggest. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I don’t want to share this moment with anyone. Then I remind myself that this baby isn’t mine. Friday isn’t even mine. Yet.
Friday nods her head. “They’re the dads,” she says. “They deserve to enjoy every moment.”
Her lower half is draped with a sheet, and if you didn’t see the wand before it went in, you’d have no idea she has something up her vagina that can take pictures.
Cody and Garrett walk in holding hands, and Friday smiles at them. She’s still shivering, though, and her teeth start to chatter. I bend over her face and look into her eyes, then drag my finger down her nose over and over until her eyes close. Her dark lashes flutter against her cheek, and then she opens her green eyes and looks into mine.
“Thank you,” she whispers. She takes a deep breath.
I kiss her cheek and scoot closer to her, and Cody and Garrett step up beside me. Cody takes her free hand, and they look toward the monitor.
The technician maneuvers the wand and a picture appears on the screen. She squints, and her brow furrows. But then she stops and smiles. “Right there,” she says. She points at the monitor. “That little, tiny flutter. Do you see it?” She looks at the dads and I doubt they can even see at all because they’re both blinking back tears. She hands them tissues, and they wipe their eyes really quickly. Cody blows his nose. It sounds so much like a foghorn that Friday laughs. The picture on the screen moves, and the flutter stops.
“What happened?” Cody asks. “Is it all right?”
“Just needs a little adjustment,” the technician says. The flutter reappears. You can barely see it. It’s kind of like the beat of a hummingbird’s wings, and it moves so fast that you might miss the action altogether if you blink.
The door opens, and the doctor slips into the room. “Congratulations,” she says to Cody and Garrett. She barely spares Friday a glance.
I want to poke her and say, Notice the vessel, bitch, but I refrain. I squeeze Friday’s hand, instead.
She mouths, It’s all right, at me. I lean down and kiss her, because I just need to.
I don’t know at what point I started needing her. Probably the moment I found out she wasn’t a lesbian and I had a chance with her. But now I know it. I do need her. That scares me a little bit, and I am not sure she’s ready for what I want.
The doctor sits down on a rolling chair and looks at the screen, takes some measurements, and then scoots back. She pulls the wand from inside Friday and pulls off the sheath. She presses some tissues into Friday’s hands and then helps her up. I reach around behind her and pull the pillow closer to her butt because she’s naked from the waist down and not wearing a robe. She has a sheet over her lap, but still.
Friday rolls her eyes at me. “They’re g*y,” she whispers dramatically.
“I still don’t want them looking at your ass,” I whisper back.
“I could be completely naked and they wouldn’t care.”
“I would care,” I grunt out.
“Why?” she asks. Her brow furrows.
“Because,” I murmur.
“Because why?” she asks.
I lean close to her ear. “Because it’s mine,” I say so that only she can hear me. “That okay with you?”