The words felt like they might choke her. “I-I thought…” God, was it possible she could have been so wrong? Doubted him so easily? “You stopped coming home, you wouldn’t talk to me…I thought it was over. I thought you wanted this over.”
More shouts of his name in the hallway. He ignored them. “Over,” he repeated woodenly, the word sounding foreign coming from his lips.
His obvious shock confirmed it. Oh God. She hadn’t trusted him enough. Now he was leaving, heading into a risky situation, her lack of faith fresh in his mind. “I’m sorry,” she said numbly, knowing her words were inadequate.
Derek’s hands rose to frame her face, holding it tightly. “How can you not know by now? I wouldn’t make it a f**king day without you.” He shook his head. “I don’t remember a time before you. It’s all a blur right up until the minute you walked in.”
His face swam in front of her, her love for him so painfully intense it almost buckled her. Relief was short-lived, however, compared to the fear now permeating her nervous system. The shouts in the hallway were increasing. Time was running out and she still didn’t know what Derek was heading into. How could he expect her to let him walk away right now? Jesus, he still didn’t even know she was carrying his baby. No. She couldn’t let him go. “Derek. Remember when you told me you’d give me anything in the world? Anything. You said I only had to ask.”
“Yes.” He brushed her tears away gently, as if he already knew what she was going to request. “And I’ll do it. If you ask me, I’ll stay right here.” Their lips met briefly. “But this is something I have to do, so I’m asking you not to do that.”
She dropped her head forward to rest on his chest in defeat. I can’t do it. “Come home to me, then. I’m asking you to come home to me.”
“Thank you.” He kissed her one final time, lingered at her mouth. “I love you, beautiful girl. Always.”
“I love you, too.”
Then he was gone.
Chapter Six
Derek nodded as one of his officers sent him a signal from the warehouse across the street, one of their many surveillance vantage points. In a matter of minutes, they would move in on the meeting. They’d coordinated with the SWAT team and narcotics department, all of them with an interest in bringing down the two crime families supplying illegal drugs and weaponry to Chicago’s streets. In minutes, a department helicopter would arrive, giving the operation eyes above the warehouse in case anyone inside tried to flee the scene. Moments to go until their carefully orchestrated plan came together. Then he’d give the signal for his men, SWAT, and narcotics officers to converge on the meeting.
Based on surveillance reports and the informant they currently had in custody, over a hundred members of the Lazio and Modesto crews were taking part in the covert meeting. They were all armed and under orders to provide cover if needed for the higher-ranking members to escape. Lazio included. His men, the other departments, they were aware of the risks and were just as dedicated to the cause as Derek. He reminded himself he’d planned for every eventuality. He’d done everything possible to safeguard his officers. This was everything he’d worked for and soon, one way or another, it would be over.
He didn’t want to be distracted. This operation demanded his full attention. Today he would have justice for a fallen officer. Possibly prevent numerous deaths in the future, deaths of officers and citizens alike. Yet it couldn’t be helped. His thoughts continued to stray to Ginger. To her broken expression as she demanded he put her out of her misery and… Derek couldn’t finish the thought. Couldn’t think about the conclusion she’d drawn without feeling actual, physical pain lance through him. He’d hurt her. Made her question his commitment to her.
His decision to keep her in the dark had been a mistake. That much had become clear immediately. How could he have been such a hypocrite? He’d spent the last year earning her trust, reiterating the importance of having no secrets between them. Then when given the chance to prove how strong their bond had become, he’d left her to twist in the wind. God, just knowing she’d spent the week thinking he was drifting away made him feel ill. What would he have done if Ginger didn’t come home for days on end? If she refused to talk to him? Derek knew exactly what he would do. Pin her down and love her, kiss her, reassure her until she opened up. He hadn’t given her that chance. He’d hid like a coward, afraid to reveal his own fear.
Now, his fears consisted of something else entirely. He needed to return to her at all costs. Fixing the mess he’d made was imperative. He’d promised her. A broken promise couldn’t be the memory he left her with. He simply wouldn’t allow it.
With a minute to go before the helicopter arrived, tipping off the perpetrators inside the warehouse to their presence, a flashback hit him. Ginger running down the hospital corridor in a nightshirt and cowboy boots, hair streaming behind her. Launching herself into his arms. Under the false impression that he’d been shot, she’d raced to the hospital in the middle of the night and found him safe and sound, merely waiting for an injured officer to be released. It had marked the first time she’d freely admitted to her feelings. He’d vowed never to take those feelings for granted. And he had. He f**king had.
Moving images smothered him then. Ginger, pissed-off and gorgeous, giving him hell for acting jealous. Ginger, sleepy-eyed and smiling, gasping as his hand slipped between her legs. Ginger, dancing and laughing at one of his officers’ weddings, looking so beautiful and happy it broke his heart and made it swell at the same damn time.
When he got out of this alive—because his promise left no other option—he was going to marry her. Before he did anything else. It suddenly felt like a goddamn sin that he hadn’t done it before now. If he’d corrected the travesty before this, maybe she wouldn’t have had room to let misgivings creep in. Maybe he wouldn’t be terrified over the prospect of something happening to him, leaving her with nothing. No rights as his wife. In his heart, she already was his wife. He needed it to be official, so badly it burned in his chest.
The dull roar of helicopter rotors beat in the distance, signaling the start of their operation. Derek nodded at the officer stationed in the warehouse window across the street, who immediately raised a radio to his mouth.
This is it. Now or never.
With a heavy heart, Derek reminded each image of Ginger how much he loved them all. How he wished he had handled everything differently this week. He prayed she could somehow hear him. Then he determinedly tucked her safely away and moved into the warehouse, his men following close behind.
…
Ginger lay on her side, face pressed to the wooden floor. She’d been in the same position, facing the door since late last night. Waiting for Derek to walk through. At first she’d been a whirlwind of nervous energy. She’d pulled out her hefty reserve of magazines and started cutting. Several pieces, expensive ones she’d earmarked for future projects, were now covered in the fruits of her furious labor. She barely remembered a single second.
At one point, she’d considered turning on the news, but had immediately discarded the idea. She’d ignored phone calls from Patti. Willa. No news was better than bad news, to her way of thinking. The more time she’d had to think, the reasons behind Derek’s action had begun to take shape in her mind and allowed for one dreaded conclusion. He wouldn’t have kept the case a secret from her if it hadn’t been incredibly dangerous. They did not keep things from each other. How many times had he drummed that fact into her head until she finally started believing it?