“But . . . married? Oh, this is a disaster! I thought it only a flattery, a fantasy to sustain her before the reality of her coming wedding; I never thought . . . I thought she might act improperly, never with such recklessness!”
“We can still stop it,” I said. “But I need your help.”
“How?”
“I think Romeo is here,” I said, and I saw her press her hands to her mouth in horror. “In her room. Perhaps readying to be in her bed. I dare not go in; she’ll shriek the house down, and Romeo and I would both be food for the dogs. If you interrupt them . . .”
“Then I am only the concerned convent-bound cousin, shocked to find them contemplating such sin,” she finished, and flashed me a shaking smile. “Yes. I will go.”
It was a risk, even so; she was supposed to be locked in, though I supposed that they would see that as a minor enough rebellion if she was caught. I doubted Juliet would care.
“Make him leave quietly,” I cautioned her. “Any betrayal would cost him his life. Please.”
That woke a silvery flash in her eyes, and I knew she was remembering that Romeo’s sword had taken her brother’s life this day. It would be so simple, so easy to gain the revenge her family desired so much. Nothing but a raised voice, a shocked cry . . . and it would cost her nothing but my own regard.
I caught her hand as she moved past me, and for just a moment, our fingers curled in on one another, sealed in pain and urgency . . . and then she opened the door of her room, and was gone.
Fool, I told myself in a sudden, ice-cold fury. She’ll betray you; she must betray you; she is a Capulet born and bred, sister to Tybalt, dead by Montague hands . . . and you’ve trusted her with the life of Tybalt’s killer, on the day of his death. Yet I could not help but trust her. It was a faith that had no basis in fact, but what faith ever does?
I took the bar from the door and blew out the candle, then waited by the new-opened exit in tense silence. I heard nothing—no outcry, not even a muffled argument. What if instead she had gone down the stairs, warned her aunt and uncle? What if even now Capulet guards massed at my back and below in the garden? I could scramble up to the roof, but the Capulet palazzo was too removed from its neighbors. Not even I, with all my practice, could make such a leap, and not from rain-slicked tiles. I’d tumble to broken bones, at the very least, and capture, and a slow death.
I heard the creak of the door behind me, soft and stealthy, and drew my sword without turning.
I closed my eyes in sweet relief as Rosaline’s hands closed on my shoulders, and she leaned forward to whisper, “I would not betray you, Prince of Shadows. Not even today.”
I put up the sword, closed the balcony doors on the pounding silver curtain of rain, and braced them again with the wooden beam. When I turned back, she had sparked tinder to light the candle anew, and in its glow I saw there was high color in her cheeks, and a strange look in her eyes. She placed the light upon the table and sat, hands folded together. After a moment of hesitation, I did the same.
“Was he within?” I asked her, and saw the blush in her cheeks grow brighter.
“You might say it so,” she said, and avoided my gaze by fixing her own upon her hands. “Even if my uncle discovers this treachery and voids the vows they exchanged, Juliet will not go virgin to Paris’s marriage bed.”
I imagined her stumbling upon so intimate a scene, and silently removing herself without giving an alarm—because an alarm would do no good. The act of love brought the marriage vows to life, and Romeo’s sin was now made holy. It did not mean the Capulets would not see it undone, but Juliet would never marry highly, or marry at all, even if they cut Romeo down in the streets and hid the secret. The roles of the two girls had now been switched. Juliet was bound, at best, for the convent if they prevented her from escaping with Romeo; Rosaline, the untouched maiden, would be Capulet’s asset to spend now.
Perhaps Paris would take her. Or some other, richer man.
But not me.
Never me.
I felt a wild, furious urge to fling sense to the winds, to do what Romeo had done with his Juliet; my grandmother had ordered it. Ruin the girls, ruin the family; that had been her message, but it had been a hateful one, and one I could not believe had any place in Romeo’s heart.
“Benvolio,” she said, and her voice pulled me out of a dark contemplation—would she resist me if I took hold of her, kissed her, bore her back to that curtained mattress? Would she cry out for help, or would she sigh my name, rise to meet me, crave the same senseless release I did? “Benvolio, Juliet knows well that this is a fool’s course. Why has she done such a thing?”
“For love,” I said. My voice had dropped lower in my throat, and I could not stop gazing at her, not to save my soul.
She took in a deep breath and slowly let it out, but she did not meet my eyes. “Juliet is a child, but she is no fantastic. She has been raised knowing her duty to this house, and she has been at peace with it all her life. One chance meeting with a boy—the sworn enemy of her own family—would never overcome it. She might engage in flirtation, but this . . . Benvolio, this cannot simply be love. It borders on sorcery.”
She was right, I thought, and with a chill, I thought of the witch, of her talk of curses. Of Mercutio’s last words. “Madness or love, done is done, and this is very thoroughly done. Whatever passes now is beyond our ability to change.”
“Have you given thought to how it changes us?” Now, finally, she looked on me, and the color stayed high in her cheeks. Her fingers were restless, fretting at the wood of the table. “When this is known—and it must be known; she cannot be so foolish as to damn her soul with a bigamous marriage to Count Paris; nor would Friar Lawrence allow it—then Juliet will no longer be my uncle’s to give away.”
“You will be,” I said. “I know.” It impressed me how quickly she’d reasoned it out, even given the rapid shocks of the day. “I think you may no longer fear imprisonment in the convent, at least.”
“Perhaps not, but now I dread the other outcome. Unlike Juliet, I was never resigned to that duty, to marriage to a man I did not know, bearing children for the sake of family honor. I do not know . . . I do not know how I can manage it.” She was immediately ashamed of this confession, I saw, and turned the blade of it on me. “At least your station increases from this.”
“Ah, me, yes, I become the target of every Capulet assassin and ham-fisted fool seeking their favor,” I said. “Tell me again how great my good fortune might be, Rosaline. I fail to properly appreciate it.”
She laughed a little, and covered her mouth with one hand, as if afraid someone might hear her inappropriate merriment. She ought to be in mourning, I thought; she must feel guilt for that, too, for knowing relief that her brother would never torment her again. “I am sorry,” she said. “I should have guessed such a rose came with thorns.”
“Poisoned thorns, and poisoned wine and poisoned meat. I shall have no peace from my great fortune, I promise you.” I hesitated, then said, “And it is the last time the Prince of Shadows may walk the night. From now on, I will be only Benvolio Montague.”
“Only?” Her voice was unexpectedly warm now. “That is a great deal, you know.”
“A half-breed heir is hardly what my uncle dreamed of,” I said. “It is not so much as you think. The color of my eyes never lets them forget what I am.”
That startled her, as if she had never considered such a thing, and I liked her for it. “Your eyes are beautiful,” she said, and it was an honest and unconsidered thought, one she immediately regretted, from the way she looked away. “I mean to say, they do you credit, and—”
I stood up. She did, too, in reflexive defense, and her gaze darted to the dagger discarded near the bed.
“No,” I said. “I will not hurt you.”
“Will you not?” She licked her lips. I wished she had not; I wished I could stop admiring the shine of them in the flickering light. “It is what men do, hurt women.”
“Not all is pain,” I said. This was not how I had meant to bend the conversation, but it seemed to travel so on its own. “Did you see pain when you peeked in the curtains of your cousin’s bed?”
She looked away, color rising in her cheeks. “I do not think so.”
“Then what is it you fear?”
“Drowning. Losing myself. Being . . . being controlled.”
“Both may surrender in this battle,” I said, and somehow I had moved closer to her, fatally close. “And both may win. I know this.”
“From experience.”
I smiled a little. “I’m no child,” I said. “And men are expected to know a few things.”
Her lips parted, and her eyes widened, and I wanted . . . I wanted so badly just then to kiss her, to taste the sweet darkness of her, but to do it would be to drown, as Romeo drowned. I was not quite ready to trade my soul for it.
But oh, so very nearly.
I pulled away from it, and her, and I saw a flash of guilty relief in her eyes as she likewise stepped back. “I will trust your word,” she said, and she meant more than seemed obvious by it. “How do you mean to leave here?”
“Perhaps like Cleopatra, wrapped in a carpet?”
“I regret I have no carpet large enough to wrap your thick head.” We were back on even footing now, and she even summoned a smile for it. “The garden is too wet; you will leave tracks to betray your presence.”
“I will go out the servants’ door, as I came in,” I said, and reached beneath her bed to fetch the covered blue-glazed pot. She gasped, this time in dismayed amusement. “I was ordered to empty chamber pots, after all. Fear not. I’ll leave it there for your attendant to find for you.”
“You can’t—” I held up the chamber pot, and she bit her lip on a laugh. “You are mad, you know.”
“Though it is madness, there is method in it,” I said, and bowed a little. “Your servant, my lady.”