He wrinkled his nose. “I appreciate the offer but I don’t think I can eat.”
“Listen, Quinn—who, surprisingly, is a fusser—will call and I need to tell him you ate or else he is going to come over here and make you eat.” Brodie dished some soup for herself. “And frankly, tonight I think he could make you. You look about as tough as overboiled noodles.”
“Thanks.”
“At least I didn’t say you look like hell.” Brodie pointed her spoon at him.
Kade winced. “Sorry, but you did. You are looking better. Still tired, but better.”
“I’ve been living on chicken soup.” Brodie sat down and nodded at his bowl. “It’s good, try it.”
Kade dipped his spoon, lifted it to his mouth and Brodie waited. When he smiled slowly and nodded she knew he approved. “It’s my mom’s recipe. A cure for all ailments.” And, years later, still doing its job.
They ate in comfortable silence until Brodie looked around the loft and sighed. “My dad was a builder. He would’ve loved this place.”
“You sound uncomfortable when you talk about your parents,” he said. “Why?”
Because she was, because she felt guilt that they’d died and she didn’t. Because she still missed them with every breath she took. Kade waited for her explanation and, despite her tight throat, she told him what she was thinking. “It’s just hard,” she concluded.
“You’re lucky you experienced such love, such acceptance. They sound like they were incredibly good parents.”
Brodie pushed away her plate, looking for an excuse not to talk. But she couldn’t keep doing that, not if they were going to co-parent. She needed to learn to open up, just a little. “They were. I was the center of their universe, the reason the sun came up for them every morning.” She rested her chin in the palm of her hand. “That makes me sound like I was spoiled, but I wasn’t, not really. They gave me more experiences than things. They gave me attention and time, and, most importantly, roots and wings. I felt...lost when they died. I still feel lost,” Brodie admitted. “And so damn scared.”
Kade took one more sip of soup before standing up. He picked up the bowls and carried them to the sink, leaving them there. On his return trip, he stopped at Brodie’s chair and held out his hand. “Let’s go sit.”
Brodie put her hand in his and followed him across the room to the mammoth sofa. Kade sat down and pulled Brodie next to him, placing his hand on her knee to keep her there. They looked at the city lights and Brodie finally allowed her head to drop so her temple rested on Kade’s shoulder.
“What scares you, Brodie?”
Brodie heard his quiet question and sighed. “Love scares me. Feeling attached and running the risk of losing the person I am attached to scares me. Being a mommy scares the pants off me.”
“Why?”
“I know how quickly life can change. One day I was bright, happy and invincible. The next I’d lost everyone that mattered to me.” She had to continue; she couldn’t stop now. “I not only lost my parents in a single swoop, but my two best friends, too. I survived the accident with minor physical injuries and major emotional ones.”
He didn’t mutter meaningless words of sympathy. He just put her onto his lap, his arms holding her against his broad chest.
Him holding her was all she needed.
“Tell me about your childhood,” she asked, desperate to change the subject.
Kade stared out the window at the breathtaking views of False Creek and the city. Brodie wondered if he ever got used to it. Kade, reading her mind, gestured to the window. “I do my best thinking here, looking out of this window. It’s never the same, always different depending on the time of day, the month, the season. It’s a reminder that nothing stays the same. As a kid my life was nothing but change.”
Brodie half turned so she could watch his face as he talked. This was the first time they’d dropped some of their barriers and it was frightening. This was something she’d done with her friends, with Chels and Jay. She was out of practice.
“After my mom died, my dad packed up our house, sold everything and hit the road. He wanted to see the country. He wanted to paint. He couldn’t leave me behind and he wouldn’t stay so I went along. I went to many, many different schools. Some for months, some for only weeks. In some places I didn’t even get to school. My education was—” Kade hesitated “—sporadic.”
Brodie knew if she spoke she’d lose him so she just waited for him to continue talking.
“But while I hated school, I loved to play hockey and I could always make friends on the ice. Especially since I was good and everyone wanted me on their team. But invariably I’d find a team, make some friends, start to feel settled and he’d yank me off to someplace new.”