The Dr answered in long sentences, obviously well rehearsed from other countless encounters. But I only caught this, "... it is made complicated by the health of her heart. We never know. If it worsen, the prognosis is grave..." And his next words were a blur.

That night, I held mom's hand. If by holding your hand I can pass some of my heartbeats to you, I will squeeze them tight and never let go.

Hang in there, mom.

You are all I ever have.

I couldn't imagine...

Flashbacks of memories returned to me. They were mostly dated way back, with very little memories built from recent years. I wished I had called you more often, visited you more often.

Oh how I hope it is not too late now.

When mom fell asleep, I momentarily slipped off my hand and my mask of bravado.

The weight of the world came crashing down on me, a wave of despair washed over me and I felt all alone again. I am so tired.

It was 11.05pm when I reached for my phone and dailed the top number from my 'frequent contact list'.

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Cliff had been demoted to number 2.

"Faye... talk to me!" Maya answered before the second ring.



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